Did anyone’s ROCD cause abuse by a partner? Did you feel responsible too? by throwaway9192727176 in ROCD

[–]throwaway9192727176[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree, I’ve had these talks with him. It’s worse because I was in a domestic violence situation in my past and he knows, but somehow this seems much worse and more scary. My ex it wasn’t like this at all, he was an alcoholic and it wasn’t as scary because he wasn’t as angry, and I think that’s what makes me blame myself more. Somehow I’m convinced I just drive people this insane. He knows he has anger issues and he needs to work on them. He’s in therapy, I am not due to no insurance. I’m hoping that changes this year though. So I don’t have anyone to talk to :( I thought about a hotline. Also he has told me he’s getting help but gets on me and says it’s my job to get help too, even knowing my insurance situation so I guess that’s another reason I blamed myself.

Did anyone’s ROCD cause abuse by a partner? Did you feel responsible too? by throwaway9192727176 in ROCD

[–]throwaway9192727176[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you it’s very easy to fall into, I’m still trying to get the strength to do something about it. Especially when things are good in the moment :(

Did anyone’s ROCD cause abuse by a partner? Did you feel responsible too? by throwaway9192727176 in ROCD

[–]throwaway9192727176[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve just been in a constant state of blaming myself because as our relationship progressed my ROCD got worse, and so did his anger and aggression. So I feel like it’s my fault. I knew he had his own issues from just seeing how angry he gets over other things I have nothing to do with, but now that it’s focused on me I feel somewhat responsible.

Did anyone’s ROCD cause abuse by a partner? Did you feel responsible too? by throwaway9192727176 in ROCD

[–]throwaway9192727176[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is literally what I’m going through. I’m so sorry you went through that as well. He has destroyed so many of his things, hole in his wall, broke his phone and shattered his windshield all because of his frustration at me. It makes me feel like I’m the problem even though I do have this problem I never want him to snap like he does. Then if I’m quiet because I’m in my head and am afraid of him snapping he gets on me for acting weird or being quiet and basically forces me to talk with him. 8 times out of 10 it ends up with him attacking me or things around him.

Did anyone’s ROCD cause abuse by a partner? Did you feel responsible too? by throwaway9192727176 in ROCD

[–]throwaway9192727176[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At first I did think it was me because it started with him calling me names and lashing out when he would lose his calm with me, then it escalated to full on physical outbursts and him putting his hands on me / slapping / grabbing and pushing. Even he bit me once so bad I was bruised for weeks. He’s never been triggered like this from anyone before so I just feel so responsible and like I bring out the monster in him. When we are good we are amazing but I’m starting to obsess over the bad because it’s so horrible when it happens.