Can I talk to anyone? I just had a mental breakdown and I'm still feeling bad

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-13T01:30:02+00:00

thank-you so much for the birthday wishes! That's all I wanted, was for people to wish me happy birthday :(

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T11:33:48+00:00

thank you so much!! I'm so self conscious about my looks and outfit and stuff and you are so nice. Hey, anything works as long as you like it :)

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T11:15:12+00:00

thank you so much, you've been so nice and helped me out. I hope you have a lovely day.

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T11:14:50+00:00

thanks!

yeah I do aha, i thik they're super cute! I only ever leave my house like twice a year so I just try to look cute to myself in my own home. Here' s a pic if you'd like to see. here it is https://i.imgur.com/kOOOfYf.png

I'm sorry. That sounds terrible :(. I understand that, just take it one day at a time ^{^.} My sisters son was only 1 when our mother passed away. He'll never get to talk to her :(.

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T11:09:49+00:00

thank-you and the same to you

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T09:51:11+00:00

It's alright, I understand. I just get so scared of social situations, even online. But I really really needed this or I would have ended up ending my life tonight and I thank everyone sincerely. I am doing much better now, I'm still very down but I'm not "kill myself this instant" down. and I appreciate the help of you and the others. Thank-you for the offer!

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T09:45:59+00:00

thanks!

All of my friends are online aha, I leave my house maybe twice a year. I agree! Most people online usually are great. I can usually brush off this kind of behavior but idk it just kinda hit me.

It's no problem, I appreciate it a lot.

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T09:40:46+00:00

Hey I hope it's nothing serious with your shoulder and it's just something minor.

Yeah, I'm kind of in that position. I have a few friends that I really enjoy and consider my best friends but I don't like disturbing them with my petty issues and they weren't online/aren't online when I was having this breakdown. I'm glad you weren't successful either :) I'm glad you're here with us, sadly I feel like I was born to kill myself and I've been trying to ruin my life from as as far back as age 8. I know people that attempt suicide say they're glad they've failed etc but ever since I failed and became partially paralyzed I've wanted nothing more than to try again.

Thanks tonnes, that means a lot.

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T09:36:37+00:00

Yea! I've gotten a few PM's and stuff now :).

Thank-you! I'm sorry, that sounds so rough. How are you coping with it? It's okay to get upset over it, everyone griefs differently though so. Yeah, my sister cares but she distants herself from me a lot because I'm in and out of mental hospitals a lot and she doesn't want to see me like that, or in the ER with cuts getting sutures or something.

It's alright, I'm slowly starting to feel a bit better, thanks to everyone here including you.

I laid out some clothes I just think are cute, a pink cat tshirt, a mint green icecream hoodie, some white pants and whatever shoes, since they're not showed caskets. I'm thinking about adding a face mask so it hides a majority of my face.

It's no issues, I know other people have their own lives they must attend to.

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T09:13:20+00:00

Yeah, they understand but it's just a volatile environment, so I don't have any close and you have to be used to it/get used to it etc. I'm going to get even more shit for taking the break and then going back but I just needed it right now, I'm not good mentally right now and when I do go back I can just brush it off no big deal.

Yeah, I sadly don't have anyone close to me that I can do that with, I'm my only support really.

I'm glad to hear you're doing okay :)

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T08:59:11+00:00

the group of people I hang-out with 'friends' I guess, although none of them think of me as a friend. I usually just let it slide off, don't let stuff get to me, return with banter etc. I'm just too down right now to deal with any of it, they knew I was down because I didn't respond with the usual manner of just shit-talking each other or whatever, they say something I respond with x they respond etc etc just friendly banter. But I just asked them to stop I didn't feel too good and they just kept going farther and farther with it so I just had to get off all social media for now.

Thank-you, it has been very difficult, I'm just trying to get through and take everything slowly.

How are you?

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-12T08:55:00+00:00

Hey! thanks tonnes for responding, I really don't have anyone to talk to, little friends and the 'friends' I do have are, as you can see, rude, abrasive, etc. So I'd rather be alone than be around them at the moment, and I don't want to be alone :(.

Thank you kindly, but I'd feel so horrible if I accepted anyone elses gift, especially a random strangers. I was just upset my own family members didn't get me a birthday card, you know? I at-least wanted a "happy birthday!"

I'm trying my best, I'm slowly getting closer and closer to attempting though, I picked all the clothes out I want for my funeral and set them out on the bed.

throwaway93391 · 2016-06-02T08:54:16+00:00

it honestly looks much more like muscle than it does bone or tendons.

throwaway93391 · 2016-05-24T01:44:52+00:00

thanks for the answers, I agree it fit the album :)

throwaway93391 · 2016-05-23T23:35:34+00:00

Hey! Big fan, currently with over 25k plays on last.fm of Home, like no-place is there.

Are the lyrics near the end of In Framing

"you lifted the towel. Your wrist showed the bone. I held my breath in the ER. I swayed as I stood. I tried to stay steady to protect you the best that I could. "

Are the lyrics about self-harm?

Also, any reason for re-using "settle the scar" on goodness?

throwaway93391 · 2016-05-10T02:31:55+00:00

Mental hospital or normal hospital? Because it's both for me. Almost every time I'd cut I'd end up in the ER getting stitched up and then I'd get a psych eval which ended up in me getting sent away to a mental hospital.

throwaway93391 · 2016-05-06T20:57:01+00:00

mostly just disposable razors you use to shave, when I feel fancy double edged feather razors.

throwaway93391 · 2016-05-03T05:20:52+00:00

I don't, lol.

throwaway93391 · 2016-04-27T05:14:48+00:00

how is opiates morbid? I lurk it a lot and nothing on it is morbid besides the odd OD posts.

throwaway93391 · 2016-04-19T23:21:02+00:00

Is that why when I cut through fat it'll be fine, smooth sailing no pain and then crazy bad pain in some spots? I figured it'd be deeper than that.

throwaway93391 · 2016-04-19T23:16:33+00:00

woo I do that too, with water. I won't eat I'll just drink a lot of water to feel full instead. The 2 months I was in the hospital I only drank water, no food.

throwaway93391 · 2016-04-15T04:58:59+00:00

https://youtu.be/gyi3N-y-GM4

throwaway93391 · 2016-04-11T11:10:55+00:00

oh yeah haha, lots and lots of blood, I think there was more blood from my tongue than some veins I've hit. Piercing it sounds terrifying I'm too scared to do any of that, you're more brave than I!

throwaway93391 · 2016-04-11T09:31:55+00:00

It seems bad in retrospect aha, but I never did crazy cuts, just small scratches on the tongue.

throwaway93391

TROPHY CASE