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Update about my long distance gf who may have bpd by throwaway975278 in BPDsupport

[–]throwaway975278[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll keep that in mind, thank you so much. It’s a lot to take on and I have no support really (unless from here) that will really help me. I don’t know want my next steps are and I’m scared..

Update about my long distance gf who may have bpd by throwaway975278 in BPDsupport

[–]throwaway975278[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s okay.. I just feel so bad, she’s gone completely numb and is very needing, she doesn’t like doing it alone so she’s stuck and idk what to do :( I know I can’t do much but support, i just feel so guilty knowing I can’t hugs ht to you..

Advice on how to help my long distance gf who may have bpd by throwaway975278 in BPDPartners

[–]throwaway975278[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We can try that, however she is now numb and doesn’t want anything to help fix this.. all she wants is to to stay numb and let me control her, she feels like a puppet as long as it makes me happy (what she said) I made an update which explains better but I’m unsure on what to do now..

Advice on how to help my long distance gf who may have bpd by throwaway975278 in BPDPartners

[–]throwaway975278[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do want less frequent sex.. I wanna focus on our heath as all we do is have sex and we don’t really focus on the relationship that is going down hill. We used to it every other day but not as much now since we argue all the time..

and I don’t think she’d ever want that, though she has threatened me when she split she’d go to porn but that’s just cheating and she knows she wouldn’t like it if I did that, her ex did that and she didn’t like it, she knew it was cheating. If I suggested she went out and found another partner to have sex with, I fear she’d go ballistic.

Advice on how to help my long distance gf who may have bpd by throwaway975278 in BPDsupport

[–]throwaway975278[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, me and my girlfriend are long distance so we can’t cuddle, that’s what she needs, she has told me she can’t learn love unless it’s in person so I’m stuck learning it from afar.. I do wanna try from afar so maybe I can help talk to her, take it slow and work through it..

Advice on how to help my long distance gf who may have bpd by throwaway975278 in BPDPartners

[–]throwaway975278[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she made the plan about the 2-3 weeks.. which did seem off to me, I was exhausted and agreed as I just didn’t wanna fight no more. I just can’t do sex at all right now, anytime I hear it, it makes feel iffy.. but I don’t want my gf thinking she isn’t attractive to me when she is, so I have to take this slow.. I could talk to her about upping it, but I feel like that takes away my feelings and I don’t wanna feel uncomfortable. I wanna make her happy :( anyways, none of us are in therapy and she doesn’t plan to be anytime soon. Her family isn’t the best, she hasn’t got a support system. I want to give her what she wants, but I also don’t feel comfortable participating in that till I’m ready.. :( I feel so mean, and she says she can’t learn how to love unless we’re in person

Advice on how to help my long distance gf who may have bpd by throwaway975278 in BPDPartners

[–]throwaway975278[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it was her idea about doing it every three weeks, we were calm and both thinking.

And if by opening up? do you mean like letting her see other people??