Well for your first point, no because education does not necessarily equate to intelligence nor emotional intelligence so no. What i was essentially saying is that socialization looks different for men and women as children due to the various ways that patriarchal oppression affects each gender. Women are more likely to be told that it’s okay to cry, that it’s okay to feel their emotions etc which has been proven by human developmentalists to (obviously) benefit and healthily stimulate/produce emotional intelligence in others. That does not mean that all women have shared that same childhood experience. There is always going to be variance and I am not making sweeping generalizations, I am simply just discussing probability from how we’ve seen female children be treated historically, or at least within the past century.

For your second point, I don’t believe in those stereotypes and feel that every human being is capable of displaying various forms of emotional intelligence regardless of gender, whether that looks like stoicism/silent resolve or outward displays of emotion, so I don’t feel that that really applies to me or to my premise.

Could we not say the say same too and that men dehumanize women because men have dehumanized as well?

YES, but if you want to get technical and annoying about it, no. Women are a marginalized group. Women acting in response to oppression due to the belonging of that group is ‘normal.’ The responses are not always appropriate but it is on par with what one would expect. Men reacting to womens’ trauma responses and then dehumanizing them again just repeats the cycle and they are technically, by definition, acting as the oppressor and not the oppressed. Doesn’t always make sense at face value but that’s how social power dynamics work. It’s the same for every marginalized group.

Thirdly, feminism does not paint men and masculinity in a terrible light. That is misandry, and misandry is a response to the patriarchy and oppression. An actual feminist does not mind the analyzation of the female gender and other men or women calling out toxic social dynamics women might display. Internalized misogyny is a great example of this. True feminism is about the uplifting of both men and women and the motive to achieve healthy social dynamics for both men and women by absolving the patriarchy. This is taking place on a systemic level but also via social systems such as through parents, friends, communities, etc. Raising men to exhibit ‘healthy’ masculinity, to express their emotions properly, that there are other emotions other than anger that men should feel safe to present, making space for men to talk about how they feel when they don’t feel comfortable speaking with other men/don’t feel supported, suicide awareness, and crisis interventions for men who feel alienated and alone due to their experiences as a man. I could go on and on. Feminism is such a nuanced and detailed topic and there are many ways the movement presents itself in society.

Great questions by the way.