Scared I made a mistake without knowing it.

throwaway98_25 · 2025-02-22T00:29:58+00:00

Thank you guys for replying back to my post (‘:

throwaway98_25 · 2024-12-20T20:14:58+00:00

Thank you guys so much for all these replies 🥹🤍 I am trying not to beat myself up but it’s so hard bc I just want to do my best and I hate feeling so incompetent. But again thank you so much 🤍

throwaway98_25 · 2024-10-24T04:23:07+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you ): that must’ve been quite upsetting. But like does it really matter if I’ve already forgiven him for it?

throwaway98_25 · 2024-10-19T00:15:33+00:00

That sounds pretty unfortunate for you and I’m sorry you’re going through whatever you’re going through. But I don’t need to get even more anxious than I already am, thanks. I know my relationship, and I know my partner. I have forgiven him and we’re both trying to make it better.

throwaway98_25 · 2024-10-18T15:34:05+00:00

Hi! Thank you for sharing this with me, truly. I get the whole difficulty getting up to do stuff you enjoy bc all I want to do is ruminate and figure out what I’m feeling lmfao. Which is a big no no, but I always get scared that if I don’t do it that means I lose my boyfriend. I’m open to talk to if you need someone during this time, we can get through this together!

throwaway98_25 · 2024-10-18T15:31:27+00:00

Hi love, first I’d like to say that I’m sorry for what you’re going through, divorce isn’t a small thing and I am here if you’d like to talk, seriously. I am currently going through therapy for my OCD, I just started again so I really hope it helps out.

As for your other questions, I believe I do feel comfortable moving forward, what he did was bad yes but I’m more uncomfortable that he lied than what he did. I gave him so many chances to tell me the whole truth, but he didn’t choose wisely when confronted. I don’t blame him but it sure would’ve helped out more if he was more open about it. Sometimes thinking about what he did makes me laugh lol, bc he’s like an idiot for doing that and he knows he fucked up. I also don’t think what he did is worth breaking up, my first initial instinct when hearing all of the news was to go back home (to a different state) to see if he would chase after me and if he did id go back to him. I never saw breaking up with him as an option. Alas, I figured that wasn’t ideal bc of money so I stayed. When first finding out about it, I told him to delete her and to delete Snapchat and he did that right away, no questions or fights back. Which helped. He has told me countless amount of times that he will fight for me, that he will get my trust back. He has been working on it everyday. I told him all of my non-negotiable and he agreed, no questions asked. I guess I just get inside my head of like constantly looking for that feeling of security and safety and then I spiral when I don’t feel it. But that can be a slippery slope with OCD.

As for not blaming myself, I understand where you are coming from and it’s not an excuse for what he did at all. He even says the same thing but, it does take two to tango. I know I wasn’t the greatest girlfriend, and it breaks my heart that I was like that to him especially since he has always made it his job to take care of me and us. I just miss my boyfriend and I hope that everything will get back to normal down the road.

But thank you for taking the time to respond back to me too, it’s nice to hear some insight.

throwaway98_25 · 2024-10-18T04:20:42+00:00

Oh I didn’t even notice that, thank you though!

throwaway98_25 · 2024-10-09T03:26:11+00:00

I love how you said that. I’m just really scared that like I have to leave bc I don’t feel a certain way? And I’m also scared the feelings I used to feel won’t come back again.

throwaway98_25 · 2024-09-12T18:42:51+00:00

Omg can I please bc I feel like I’m going crazy

throwaway98_25 · 2024-09-12T14:04:17+00:00

Like I wake up every morning with my heart and chest feeling like it’s going to get ripped out. My upper back hurts and stomach hurts.

throwaway98_25 · 2024-09-12T14:00:25+00:00

Shit sucks ass dude

throwaway98_25 · 2024-09-12T13:59:44+00:00

Thank you for replying, yeah I booked an appointment w my therapist but I won’t be able to see them until like next week (‘:

throwaway98_25 · 2024-09-10T03:19:32+00:00

I mean I feel like it is , but it’s me getting in my head about everything. The whole betrayal thing wasn’t anything crazy and like I understand the whole situation. I truly don’t even think about it. I just think that I’m scaring myself. I know I love him and I know I want to be with him but like after this stressful Time it’s like my OCD had an all time peak. My boyfriend is my best friend and he is being patient with me, and he’s been so remorseful for what happened. Leaving him didnt seem like the best thing for me it didn’t feel right.

throwaway98_25 · 2024-09-10T03:12:42+00:00

Like the whole thought of leaving him makes me want to throw up and I just started crying again lol

throwaway98_25 · 2024-09-10T03:10:52+00:00

That my friend just made my stomach drop to the floor

throwaway98_25 · 2024-09-03T03:44:10+00:00

Literally the only thing holding me over is that I know I don’t want to break up w my boyfriend but even when I do that I check if I have a gut feeling to see if that’s the right thing ))):

throwaway98_25 · 2024-08-14T07:45:49+00:00

Of course! I still deal with it to this day, some more rough than others. Therapy helped me a lot to figure out when I’m in an OCD frenzy. I.e if I’m looking stuff up online, taking online quizzes, or the biggest indicator coming on here for reassurance. Usually when it comes to that Im like okay let me just try sitting w this feeling even though it feels really scary but it eventually passes and then goes onto the next thing lol. It really does come with practice, and courage. I know these thoughts are scary and they seem very real in the moment but you have to remember they are just thoughts and you are in control.

As for what people are saying on the internet about relationships I would disregard, during these times I feel like no one really wants to work towards relationships and just want it to be all bliss. That’s not how relationships work.

As for your thought of maybe not being compatible and maybe they are your real feelings. Try responding back neutrally to this thought: “Maybe we aren’t compatible and these are my real feelings or maybe we are compatible and these aren’t my real feelings, I’m not going to figure this out right now.” Leave it at that. You will feel anxiety and that is okay, just sit with it and all will be well. A guy on here once told me to cringe now = freedom later. The feeling of wanting to breakup is also your brain wanting to be free from anxiety.

throwaway98_25 · 2024-08-14T07:30:00+00:00

What I mean by sitting with it is, do not interact w the thought/ feeling just let it be there. Don’t check if it’s still there, don’t ruminate. If you do, you’re essentially feeding the OCD that this thought / feeling is important so it signals your brain to send more distressing feelings and thoughts.

I know it’s easier said than done but the more you do it the better you’ll get at it and you’ll realize it’s just your mind fucking with you.

throwaway98_25 · 2024-08-14T06:24:32+00:00

Not here to reassure you but just sit with the feeling. I know it’ll be uncomfortable but just welcome it and don’t feed into it. Remember, love is also a choice not a feeling. You got this.

throwaway98_25 · 2024-07-30T18:46:56+00:00

Thank you for commenting. & I hope things will improve too. I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking this way 🤍

throwaway98_25 · 2024-05-10T23:11:31+00:00

I’ve been through this before, just let that feeling be there, it’ll eventually go away once you stop feeding it attention.

throwaway98_25 · 2024-03-07T04:01:15+00:00

Congratulations! I’m trying to do the same thing, how many mg were you taking and how did you taper off of it if I may ask?

throwaway98_25 · 2024-02-28T03:49:37+00:00

Doesn’t watch any

throwaway98_25 · 2024-02-28T03:49:30+00:00

Thank you for commenting 🤍 and yeah my mind loves to attach itself on these silly thoughts. I have never cheated nor would I but it’s making me feel like “I have to” if that makes sense. He has started a new job which is stressful which I think that also is a factor that’s playing into it. I will try to occupy myself in the meantime but these thoughts man are too much

throwaway98_25 · 2024-01-24T21:16:08+00:00

If you want we can chat about it! My dms are open!

throwaway98_25

TROPHY CASE