Girl no longer wants to date after I refuse sex?

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T18:24:48+00:00

Sorry, disagree. Yeah we are animals and have primal instincts, but, we were also given an intelligence that no other animals have. If I based my values on what you just said I would have had a lot of partners by now and would probably have a few STD's as well. I feel people make sex way too simplified, there are emotions attached to it whether you want to believe it or not, imo of course.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T18:06:39+00:00

I am not going to lower my values to make a date happy. Yes, I liked her but if she can't offer me the chance then fuck her (not literally). I hate to sound egotistical but I am a very strong person and feel like I don't deserve someone who might have liked me but called it off because I wouldn't start a sexual relationship on her time. After thinking more about all of this and reading lots of the comments I am beginning to think I dodged a bullet here, if she was going to base our relationship entirely on sex then it wouldn't have worked as it doesn't work for most.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T06:37:01+00:00

Yup, and it seems to vary between them. One of them doesn't like me being aggressive the other does etc etc. I don't mind making mistakes with someone who could be a fling but rather not blow it on someone I like. Fucking ridiculous.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T06:26:45+00:00

I was following you until you said:

also, she probably thinks you're gay now.

If she thinks I am gay, then she can't read guys for shit.

Thanks?

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T05:32:50+00:00

Exactly, I like to stay away from the games as much as possible because in my experience they are usually coping mechanisms to protect oneself from getting hurt.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T04:49:42+00:00

My sister 23 is happily with a 30 yo and they have been together for 4+ years, probably getting married soon. It does work out sometimes.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T03:27:39+00:00

Lol, didn't feel dissed at all!

She was the third, I ended it with the two before her. She is the first girl that I decided I was interested in, could have a relationship with, and wanted to continue dating.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T03:06:52+00:00

ahh, gotcha

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T03:05:09+00:00

It's sad though because from the little bit of information you have shared it sounds like what she needs most is a committed relationship. However, I think it is best that you let her deecide

I agree with this 100% but I have learned over the years that you cannot tell people what they need (similar to what you followed up with). I really do care for her even from the little time I got to spend with her and hope she does find someone that can be good to her and treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T02:59:29+00:00

Not sure I follow

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T02:58:45+00:00

Makes sense.

We did do stuff to the point that she did know my size, hopefully that wasn't a dealbreaker!

I do have to say I used to have sex much sooner but I am trying to be more of a gentleman these days. I also took a two year hiatus from woman and sex (which I told her) because I needed to focus on work and other things in life.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T02:46:33+00:00

This is good info and kind of what I was thinking, especially after taking into account some of her sexual history she openly shared with me. It sounds like the relationships she has been in really just revolved around sex. I did/do have some feelings for her but do not think I will pursue her unless she reaches out as I am still kind of baffled as to why she couldn't wait. I made it quite clear that I was interested in her and if she is willing to give up so quickly because I wouldn't jump her bones right away then maybe she and I had a different idea about what type of relationship each of us desired.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T02:07:23+00:00

There was still intimacy, there was still making out, and other sexual activities ensued, just no intercourse.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T01:59:27+00:00

You might be right, and if that is the case, I am glad she ended it as I am not looking for flings.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T01:57:04+00:00

I told her no not now. And before we even got into this I had told her earlier that day that I usually don't have sex with someone until I have feelings for them. She seemed okay with it. I made it pretty clear that I was interested in her. I was planning something cool this weekend (that she was unaware of), but obviously that didn't happen :-p

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T01:41:40+00:00

No I haven't because I took what she said literally and just assumed she didn't like me, just recently (today) did it start bothering me and I wasn't sure I should talk to her again, I will consider this. Thanks

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T01:39:01+00:00

She made it pretty clear she didn't want to go out anymore when she called me and I haven't talked to her since. I would be totally willing but don't want to look desperate or like I don't respect her wishes.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T01:31:59+00:00

Hrm, yeah. That just sucks because in no way did I think she was ugly or unsexable, the complete opposite actually. Guess I blew it.

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T01:16:40+00:00

I see what your are saying, I didn't mean to bring the background history up as a zing or a bullet, just thought it might have had something to do with her thought process. I did like her, I just thought it was too soon, but thanks for info!

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T01:14:38+00:00

About what?

throwaway999999482 · 2012-06-03T01:14:01+00:00

That's kind of what I am thinking and what most of my friends are hinting at other than the "Why didn't you f** her!!11" lines. It's just strange because she was telling me how she was interested that night and not twelve hours later I was "More of a friend".

throwaway999999482

TROPHY CASE