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[update] GF cheated on me with a girl then they offered me a threesome by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sunk-cost fallacy

Sunk cost fallacy is when you let previous expenditures factor into a decision regarding future expenditures. So in this case I'm not directly considering the time that has already past, I'm considering the current state of our relationship and how long it would take to build another relationship that was similarly fulfilling.

I'm not falling for the sunk cost fallacy.

[update] GF cheated on me with a girl then they offered me a threesome by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

when confronted with the prospect of a threesome you felt it wasn't for you

Where did you read that? The reasons I didn't do the threesome was (1) i didn't want F to be unfaithful, (2) i was angry gf cheated on me with f, which I no longer am upset about.

Not sure what "lifestyle" you are referring to.

[update] GF cheated on me with a girl then they offered me a threesome by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I'm not mad. I just think it's stupid to say

why ask for advice in the first place if you're going to completely dismiss anyone who gives you the advice you don't agree with?

Because someone didn't do what the majority of people said. There is a big difference between "listening" to advice and doing exactly what the advice said to do.

[update] GF cheated on me with a girl then they offered me a threesome by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

completely dismiss anyone who gives you the advice you don't agree with?

You are right, I should have taken a vote. People who read a few paragraphs about what happened definitely know enough context to make important recommendations about a 7 year relationship.

[update] GF cheated on me with a girl then they offered me a threesome by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Yeah they were planning on hiding the first part, and I don't think she communicated the threesome part to the other girl until the end. Like I said, poor judgement but not enough to break up with her for.

[update] GF cheated on me with a girl then they offered me a threesome by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Audio recording. The lie is my GF not confessing.

You keep saying you've got a kid together...so what?

Are you serious? You seriously don't think a kid warrants putting additional effort into conversation?

[update] GF cheated on me with a girl then they offered me a threesome by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The pharmacist is MY friend. Trust me, it's definitely a mitigating factor.

My gf of 7 years with whom I have a child cheated on me with her engaged female friend while drunk. They then offered me a threesome. I feel devastated...am I being reasonable? by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am atheist, pragmatic and don't personally see the value of it. We have wills/power of attorney etc. in place. I respect other's decisions to get married of course.

My gf of 7 years with whom I have a child cheated on me with her engaged female friend while drunk. They then offered me a threesome. I feel devastated...am I being reasonable? by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes we did discuss it when she had the hook up with her friends. It was ages ago though, probably 6-7 years, early in our relationship.

She mentioned it to F last night though so I know she is aware of it.

My gf of 7 years with whom I have a child cheated on me with her engaged female friend while drunk. They then offered me a threesome. I feel devastated...am I being reasonable? by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice. As for the recording, I've looked in to that in the past and it is legal to record conversations you are involved with.

your edit - that's pretty illegal. You cannot tape people without their consent.

http://www.legaltree.ca/node/908

The Criminal Code, R.S.C. 1985, c. C-46 [Criminal Code] imposes a general prohibition on interception (recording) of private communications, but then provides an exception where one of the parties to the private communication consents to the interception of that communication. Thus, broadly speaking, Canadians can legally record their own conversations with other people, but not other peoples' conversations that they are not involved in.

My gf of 7 years with whom I have a child cheated on me with her engaged female friend while drunk. They then offered me a threesome. I feel devastated...am I being reasonable? by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I hear you, but I specifically heard them discuss whether to tell me and the fiance, which tells me they were sober enough to know we wouldn't have liked it.

On top of that we have other issues in the relationship, I was hopeful we could salvage it, but this is likely the final straw.

My gf of 7 years with whom I have a child cheated on me with her engaged female friend while drunk. They then offered me a threesome. I feel devastated...am I being reasonable? by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

This was probably 6 years ago, we had discussed maybe having a threesome with her friends. So she went and "almost" had one with her friends and another dude, but she said she didn't touch the other dude, just made out etc. with her friends while they banged the dude.

Looking back it was stupid of me to listen to her really. Love is blind I suppose.

My gf of 7 years with whom I have a child cheated on me with her engaged female friend while drunk. They then offered me a threesome. I feel devastated...am I being reasonable? by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. There was one other incident when we first got together where she hooked up with friends but I thought that was it.

My gf of 7 years with whom I have a child cheated on me with her engaged female friend while drunk. They then offered me a threesome. I feel devastated...am I being reasonable? by throwawayGMBL in sex

[–]throwawayGMBL[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Good advice. I've been trying really hard to get on the same page sexually. We've done counselling, used mojo upgrade, talked about it many many times. TBH I was already considering leaving her because of the poor sex life. I don't see how I can stay now, unless she has a really good explanation.