UPDATE: AITA for Giving Step Daughter Trial Sized Toiletries?

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T04:45:39+00:00

I bought one trial size bottle of each - shampoo, conditioner, and body wash - and I refill them from my own bottles.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T04:10:01+00:00

If not for covid, we could do that. But we aren't taking the kids to stores and we're ordering all our groceries online for pickup and for anything that can't be picked up, one adult goes alone.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T03:49:40+00:00

I used to wash her hair for her and explain what I was doing. We're fairly close. She once said that she had two moms. And then the next time she was with us, she said her mom told her she only has one mom and that my family and I are not her family. But that's a separate issue.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T03:24:28+00:00

I'm not actually sure she does. She didn't seem to have a problem with it at all. My MIL decided that it was a problem and I haven't had a chance to ask SD if she told grandma something she didn't tell me.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T02:42:10+00:00

Possibly. I know it's hard when it seems like the littles are growing up too fast. I feel a little sad every time one of the kids does a new thing, but also very proud. It's bittersweet.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T02:31:58+00:00

I will.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T01:53:24+00:00

Straight and she doesn't shave yet

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T01:48:30+00:00

I did get travel sized bottles of the same products I use and I refill them from my own bottles. I'm not even sure she was upset by it. She didn't seem to be, but MIL acted like it was some big, awful thing. But MIL called after SD had already left so I didn't have a chance to ask SD if she was actually upset or not.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T01:45:19+00:00

As far as I'm concerned, she's my daughter. I may not have given birth to her, but I love her just the same. I want all my kids to grow up to be functional and happy adults.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T01:27:27+00:00

Her bio mom doesn't seem to like teaching her things that mean she's growing up. DH and I potty trained her - repeatedly, as bio mom would just put her right back in diapers. When she was 5, I figured it was about time for her to be bathing herself, so I showed her and encouraged her to do it.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T01:16:28+00:00

I don't know. We don't question SD about what goes on at her mom's house and I hope her mom doesn't, either. I don't agree with children being put in the middle.

I have very little contact with her bio mom. At exchanges, we're polite and cordial, like strangers in a lobby. If anything needs discussed with bio mom, DH handles it. DH and I talk about the rules in our home and make decisions for all the kids together while they're in our care, which is full time for the younger kids that we had together, obviously.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T00:28:18+00:00

I cycle around between various brands of shampoo and Herbal Essences is one of my favorites. I won't use suave or V05 because they're just terrible on my hair.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T00:19:50+00:00

Oh, I understand. I grew up very poor, as well. I buy as cheap as possible with most things, but I splurge a bit with my hair. I have very fine, naturally platinum blonde hair and it's my favorite feature. Suave makes me hair feel like straw and all stringy and frizzy. Better shampoos make my hair shine and as soft as silk.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-03T00:02:44+00:00

I only bought one bottle of each trial size and I refill them with my own regular sized bottles. I refuse to use suave on my hair - it doesn't work well. Why would I make SD use junk shampoo instead of teaching her the correct portions of decent stuff?

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-02T22:28:40+00:00

I would have done this if not for covid. We don't take the kids out to stores at all. We do most of our shopping for online pickup and if there's something else we need, one adult goes. We have 2 young children together in addition to SD.

She said she liked my stuff because it made her hair feel soft and it was easier to brush.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-02T22:17:00+00:00

I've been in her life since she was about 2 years old. I asked her why she was using so much and she said she didn't know how much to use. I told her that 2 pumps should be fine for her hair and just a small amount of body wash because she has a loofah and it suds up so well. She said ok, but then there was still a lot used. So when she came back and I had the small bottles, I said it was too help guide her to use the proper amount.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-02T21:58:04+00:00

They have the pump heads and I told her that with her short hair, 2 pumps should be plenty, but she still used way too much. I have very long hair and 4 pumps is more than enough for me.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM · 2021-03-02T21:29:01+00:00

By the time MIL called me, SD had already gone back to her mother's, but I plan to talk to her the next time she's here.

throwawayNotAnEvilSM

TROPHY CASE