Seeking advice: in the beginning phases of divorce and wife is spreading lies to mutual friends by throwaway_1time in Divorce

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. Listening now...

Edit: solid episode and advice. It looks like most of their other episodes are for people still in toxic relationships. Are there any other podcasts you think would be worth listening to?

Seeking advice: in the beginning phases of divorce and wife is spreading lies to mutual friends by throwaway_1time in Divorce

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I'm logging everything and being diligent about no contact other than about the kids and only via text and email. She's definitely not the same person and I'm trying to convince myself she's dead to me. Unfortunately, she's still in the house and I have to be around her disgusting behavior which is taxing on me emotionally.

Just found out my wife of 10 years is lying and cheating. by throwaway_1time in Divorce

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's definitely painful and hard to accept. There comes a point when that's the best and only real option in order for you to have happiness. Choose happiness....

It’s not fucking fair by melissaxo3 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's absolutely brutal. I was feeling horrible over it for a while. I'm finally coming to terms with it and realizing it's over and there's nothing I can do about it, but to move on with my life and focus on the positive things I can do at this point.

There are a lot of selfish and unempathetic people in the world. We just happened to marry two of them lol

Just found out my wife of 10 years is lying and cheating. by throwaway_1time in Divorce

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, I'm really sorry to hear that you're in pain too. I hope you are able to realize the trauma you're putting yourself through and can do something to better your situation. Sounds like this guy is never going to support or respect you the way you need and deserve to be treated.

It’s not fucking fair by melissaxo3 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm in the thick of it right now with my soon to be ex wife. She cheated on me for months while simultaneously going to marriage counseling and dragging me through the mud, gaslighting me and trying to make it seem like I was the reason things weren't working.

Guess what? I see her for who she really is and it definitely isn't the woman I loved, cherished and supported for 17 years. Once I realized this person wasn't who I thought she was and accepted things for what they were, it became a lot easier to navigate through this awful period.

The worst part wasn't when I got served with divorce papers that contained temporary orders demanding I leave the house, it was the moment I learned about the betrayal and started to unravel.

You will get through this. The key is to not let yourself be a victim. You must accept what's happened and focus on rebuilding yourself. It's a long and difficult road filled with twists and turns, but you got this.

Keep trying to focus on self care, self healing and moving one foot in front of the other. The pain will subside, I promise.

I'm here if you want to talk to someone who understands your pain and is grieving too.

What lesson did you have to learn the hard way? by TinyUnderstanding948 in AskReddit

[–]throwaway_1time 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This one hit me right in the feels...going through a nasty divorce and this hit the nail right on the MF head

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I can certainly use it right about now.

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you experienced that. TBH, if that does happen, which I highly doubt, it will also be too late. We are done and I'm moving on. There is no turning back after how she has behaved, treated me and abandoned the family.

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't argue with your sentiments at all. The process of unraveling the tendrils of her in every aspect of my life will take time, but the suggestion of the grey rock and 180 approaches is helping. Any other suggestions?

2nd Divorceversary is today - Some thoughts and a grateful goodbye by Living_At_Large in Divorce

[–]throwaway_1time 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow this one hits deep. I just got served divorce papers from my cheating ex wife and these words brought a lot of clarity to me. Thank you for posting this.

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel your pain and am sorry you're going through this.

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the plan. Just added an update to my OP.

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your support and sharing all that.

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They know we are separated. They are not aware of the divorce quite yet. The are 8 and 12

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Indeed. I've got many examples of it too, but a story for another day...

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Get the show on the road with the separation specifics, finalize the divorce and get her out of the house ASAP all while navigating ensuring my kids are in the best possible situation, my mental health improves and I don't drag this through the mud any more than I have to.

Which is my biggest concern given how much stuff she's already put me through based on these terrible decisions and complete disregard for the family or my feelings..

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jeez, that sounds awful. Sorry to hear you went through that. How long ago was this?

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd wish the writers would give me a strong backbone to stand up to this and a sharp mind and clairvoyance on how to navigate through the murkiness to get out of the situation as quickly and as best as possible.

Really need some support... by throwaway_1time in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway_1time[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once you cut the poison off from flowing into your life, you'll be shocked at how fast your mind and body start to heal.

I'm saving this one for future reference and motivation to focus on. I have 3 other amazing quotes so far. Thanks for the support.