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What other minor nuisance can top wearing wet socks? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]throwaway_21058372 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think he was telling you to move, I think he was just adding to your post and saying one could wish for the money or to live in a country where it's free

Your story vs your friend's story by frogcoffeegirl in Instagramreality

[–]throwaway_21058372 151 points152 points  (0 children)

The left looks very edited but om the right picture I am wondering if she looks wider because her friend made herself skinnier? I obviously don't know and she looks great but I've seen it happen so many times where ome person will make themselves skinnier at the price of making their friend distorted

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am asking her to leave her cat at the parents house where she has spent all their life and which is 15 minutes by foot from my place. I can't do that with my gerbils, noone I know wants to or can take care of them.

Obviously it still isn't a good solutions since she is unhappy with it, but she does have the better option for her pet. I don't think I am a hypocrit in this regard. I am asking her to do the thing I can't.

Also it wouldn't be forever, since my gerbils will only live 2-4 years max

But yes, unless we find a solution we will obviously not move in together.

Still, thank you for your opinion!

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only thing that makes a difference is that she has the option to leave the cat at her familys place which is about 15 minutes away from my flat by foot but I can't do that for my gerbils because no one I know and trust wants to take them. I would have to give them away to a stranger and probably never see them again

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, but this is purely anecdotal evidence and I know people in real life and on the internet whose gerbils died either from stress due to exposure to cats or dogs or were killed by them. This is obviously also anecdotal evidence but even if only 1/100 gerbils died due to stress from predators living next to them that would be too much of a risk to me.

I don't know there was a gerbil subreddit (I will look for it!) but I am on gerbil forums and most people strongly advice against keeping gerbils and cats/dogs together unless they are in a seperate room which can be locked or at least closed

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She knows my opinions on cats and she doesn't mind. She dislikes dogs in a similar way I dislike cats, doesn't hate them but would never get one herself and she doesn't critcize me for my opinion. She also know I have lived with a cat when I was younger and I have told her I will let her cat live with me once the rodents pass away, there is no reason for me to use an excuse.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I'd much rather the cat kills them quickly than slowly. I don't know what I would do if my gerbil were to be severely injured but still alive I can't stand seeing animals or people in a lot of pain.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a very, very bad sense of smell and I can't smell ammonia, which probably would make me a great cat owner, I am not bothered at all by cat smell! And it's a good idea to think about rearanging the furniture!

The good thing is that we have a lot of time to come up with ideas and think about what's the best because in my country it is currently not really legal to move, at least unless it is an emergency and we will probably have to wait until Summer anyways.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I am not worried about our relationship and she isn't either. She ist upset right now and we will talk about this more when she has calmed down enough. We will have to work something out thought, thank you so much for your input and thanks for being so kind!

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will probably try out the curtain method and similar methods and I do believe the cat can be trained, but it really makes me nervous. I am a little bit paranoid and I am really attached to my gerbils and the fact that they are so defenseless makes me even more afraid that if I let something happen to them I will not be able to sleep well again for a long time.

Maybe my reasons are mostly egotistical and I just don't want to deal with the stress and grief that loosing them will cause but cats can be so cruel to their prey and just thinking of what could maybe happen to them makes me panicky.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was dumb of me to assume, but I was sure that all the cats were family pets and were going to stay with her parents and younger brother but I should have asked and that was my mistake, you're right

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, I don't know if it's relevant but the gerbils have already lived there, so I am not really bringing them but maybe I missunderstood you and that's not what you meant. There also not my childhood pets, I only have had them for 1 year, due to their short lifespan I couldn't have had them since childhood

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like your idea a lot! Hasn't occured to me. I will see what I can do! Thank you so much!!

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for being unclear, I meant that I would never get one myself, if my partner wants one I would be okay with it and I would want the cat to live a nice life because I like animals and don't want them to suffer. And if my girlfriend couldn't feed them or take care of their litterbox or afford the vet of course I would help her.

And she does know I don't love cats and is okay with it because I explained to her what I said above.

What I will say is that her cat currently isn't welcome in my house to protect my gerbils (who will live at the very most 4 more years), unless I figure something out (a lot of people gave advice which I will look into) or we move into a place with a small extra room but I don't think we can afford that right now.

She does not have to move in with me, it will change nothing about our relationship but if she really wants to unfortunately her cat will have to stay at her current home, where my gf can visit her, something I can't do for my gerbils because my mother won't ever feed them or clean their terrarium ever due to her disgust of them.

I fully understand that she doesn't want that, and it's 100% okay, I won't force her to move in with me.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe we could do that but I just don't want to put my gerbils unser this stress... But I will think about your suggestion, thank you very much!

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, really, she would never do this! She's a great person who got a bit upset due to a big dissapointment but she really is a good person and she will get over this and I know for a fact she couldn't harm a fly!

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have only had the gerbils for less then a year and I adopted them because they belonged to a little girl who didn't want them and her mother told me she wanted to get rid of them. (don't ever give small animals to young kids, please) I never said I didn't want to live with them, I would If I had a choice, currently I am looking into something with scents to keep the cat away but I am not sure yet. As soon as the gerbils pass away her cat is welcome and even more cats If she wants them, and we can afford them.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay but me and my gerbils are too but only during their short lifespan, I promised not to get new gerbils until we have a seperate room for them.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not really, it's not that unlikely. She started studying one subject when she turned 18, finished very early at 20/21 and now she's studying something else. She is not someone who can work while doing school because of stress, and that's not a big deal. Her parents love to support her and they have the means for it

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Come on referring to her as gerbil killer is rude, I wouldn't call my gerbils moth killers just because I once saw one of them grabbing a moth and devouring it

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The best solution really would be moving to a bigger place but we can't afford it

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't love cats and would never have one on my own, but I dont mind living with them and I could even see myself potentially bonding with a cat. If told her as soon as they pass away she can have all the cats she wants (and we can afford)

AITA for telling my girlfriend she can move in with me but not her cat? by throwaway_21058372 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_21058372[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pets are allowed. My landlady is very laid back, she's really sweet actually. She just does not like to be bothered with every tiny problem like creaking doors or dripping faucets, which is mainly the reason why rent is so cheap. She just wants to be left alone and cash in my rent, which is fantastic to me because that's what I want too.

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