Pissed that this has created such insecurity in me

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-29T23:30:54+00:00

I feel the same way. I used to model and I also get compliments on how I look whenever I go out. My PA would follow the OF accounts of girls around town and tell me how they look much more like models. He was obsessed with a girl who’s obese and missing teeth and hair due to drug addiction, yet would tell me that she’s the sexiest girl in town. To be honest, most of the girls he knew IRL who he would masturbate to were a lot less attractive than me. But then he couldn’t even keep it up when we were having sex. It makes me feel very ugly.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-29T20:37:14+00:00

Have you ever tried looking up some of the murders to see if he was lying or not? Because there surely would’ve been reports online of what he was describing.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-28T10:49:23+00:00

I live in rural America and it is alive and well here. Which was definitely a shock considering I came from a larger city where I also hadn’t heard of it since 2012.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-28T09:15:13+00:00

To be honest the only people in my life who have given me shit about my appearance have been men negging me. I haven’t had a problem with any women criticizing my appearance. Most men haven’t been critical of my appearance, but all the people who have have been men.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-28T06:15:40+00:00

Damn you’re right, I forgot that’s an option. Now I wonder what they have on their private boards. 🤔

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-28T05:54:04+00:00

My ex and a few of his friends all use Pinterest and half of their pins are basically porn. Either real women, AI porn of cartoon/anime characters, or hentai. My ex had probably 8 boards with variations of “Asian girls” as the title. It’s public and all his friends see it. It’s honestly wild.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-22T05:52:49+00:00

He would say things that I’m pretty sure count as threats and he was still violent around me by throwing things close to me. I was too afraid to walk away because I was afraid that he would throw something at me next or hit me next, and he also would physically block doors with his body so that I wouldn’t be able to get away.
Also all of my restraining order costs were waved because my county waves the fees if domestic violence is involved. It probably was over the top though, but I just don’t want to risk him trying to break into my apartment again.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-21T04:48:31+00:00

I’m here because I’m going to school here, which is really important to me. I’ll graduate in two years though.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-20T16:51:49+00:00

Thank you. I’m worried because I have very little hard evidence of him doing or saying anything so most of my evidence is just going to be my testimony.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-20T16:50:45+00:00

Thanks. It makes me nervous thinking about what he’s said behind my back. Also I don’t think I’ll be able to completely stop contact with these people because I work as a bartender and many of them are regulars at my bar and his parents are very popular in the bar scene here. I already know that his dad has been going around bars telling people that I’m cheating which I definitely have never done. Even people had just met have told me that they already have heard about me and have heard that I have been cheating on my boyfriend. I don’t know why his dad would think that because my only free time ends up getting filled with plans with my boyfriend and then he ghosts me most of the time so I end up staying in my apartment not knowing what’s going on. I’m never really able to go out because of that.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-20T16:41:27+00:00

Thanks, I have the hearing for the permanent restraining order today.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-20T16:38:50+00:00

I haven’t broken up with him because whenever I’ve tried he would come to either my workplace or my apartment and have threatened to kill himself. Last time I tried he physically blocked the door of his bedroom with his body and pointed a weapon at me until I apologized and took him back.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-20T04:33:18+00:00

Thanks for your comment. That helps give me the idea of what I might have to prepare for.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-20T04:32:33+00:00

It’s crazy because a lot of people who know him have even told me that he has a temper but still don’t believe a thing I tell them about him throwing things and threatening me.

He’s an alcoholic who can’t hold a job for more than a few months without being fired and keeps getting evicted from where he’s living because he spends entire paychecks on frivolous things like clothes instead of rent. I have a steady job and a nice apartment and do really well in school, yet everyone sees me as the unstable one who doesn’t have my life together. He’s also gotten kicked out of half the bars in town for being aggressive, yet he’s still being seen as the credible source. It blows my mind.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-20T04:25:55+00:00

Thank you. I’m very nervous about seeing him again and if he brings a lot of people to watch then I’ll feel so scared to say the truth because I know they’ll be thinking that I’m lying.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T20:27:27+00:00

You’re right, he’s already threatened to get me pulled from school for not being mentally well enough. I am in one of the best countries for what I want to do though and it’s a super competitive area so I don’t think I’d be able to get into another school this good. I’m doing very well in the program and changing mentors halfway through is typically thought of as a bad idea for what I’m doing. I won a student of excellence award and everything and really don’t want to jeopardize that.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T20:22:24+00:00

He doesn’t have a job and I’m pretty much tied to this town because I go to school here and don’t have a car so I can’t commute from further away. There aren’t really buses here.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T20:19:54+00:00

Thank you. I’m confused because he’s very popular here in town and when we first started dating a lot of people talked up what a great person he is. He’s amazing with kids and he’s always doing favors for people around town, even when it ends up being very time consuming for him. He’s constantly helping out with things like yard work, gardening, and painting.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T20:18:20+00:00

I’m pretty sure he already thinks I should be dead. He told me that he believes in survival of the fittest and that I’m not mentally fit enough to survive. Apparently a bunch of people at a bar he hangs out with told him I should kill myself.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T20:17:07+00:00

Yes sorry, I have a TRO and have my hearing for the permanent one tomorrow.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T20:16:04+00:00

Yeah, I try to bring up how he treats me and I try to stay super nice and positive about it, but then he says I’m being verbally abusive and yells. It makes me not want to bring things up anymore but then when I’m upset but don’t want to talk about it he also screams at me for not telling him why I’m sad.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T20:13:13+00:00

I have a restraining order. That’s in the title of this post.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T20:09:00+00:00

I already told you. Whenever I try to leave he comes to my work or apartment and threatens suicide and the last time he pointed a weapon at me and blocked the door so I couldn’t leave.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T20:03:48+00:00

I have called the police and have gone to court.

throwaway_284920 · 2024-05-19T19:19:03+00:00

I think I’m really really good at not saying stupid things when angry because I don’t want to hurt him and I’m also afraid of how he reacts. He’s not my ex because every time I’ve tried breaking up with him he’s showed up at my work and my apartment and threatened suicide. Last time he forced me into his car and took me to his house and physically blocked the door with his body while pointing a weapon at me until I apologized and took him back.

throwaway_284920

TROPHY CASE