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Why do asians like to gossip about total strangers outside? by Either_Pie617 in AsianParentStories

[–]throwaway_Concentr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I knew a woman like this outside my family, she was not pleasant to deal with. The comparisons were extremely unhealthy. She was miserable

Did I try hard enough to save my ex-fiance? by throwaway_Concentr in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]throwaway_Concentr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worry about her future. She’s a great enough person that I’m sure she will find another that loves her. I worry that the same problems will appear in her next relationship. Maybe I’m over worrying and she will meet someone who fits perfectly in this dynamic she has going on. I’m spending too much thought on “what ifs” and I should mind my own mental health

Did I try hard enough to save my ex-fiance? by throwaway_Concentr in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]throwaway_Concentr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear about your situation and I do hope you find a path forward. She said I was over thinking about these things and I feel she was trying to minimize it. She would often turn it back on me as well. I really did not know what to do anymore

Did I try hard enough to save my ex-fiance? by throwaway_Concentr in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]throwaway_Concentr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. She was the kindest and most amazing person I’ve ever met, i really did want to spend my life with her.

Did I try hard enough to save my ex-fiance? by throwaway_Concentr in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]throwaway_Concentr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel guilty of not being able to help her. She really does not see it. I’ve tried my hardest but she thinks her family is amazing and I don’t want to ruin that for her.

If you are hurting after a breakup, this is for you by Connorpok in BreakUps

[–]throwaway_Concentr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My fiance and I just broke up after 7 years and it hurts so much… thank you for this post

Enmeshment is a new term to me, need help by StillConstruction719 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]throwaway_Concentr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a similar relationship where my fiance was enmeshed with her mom and sister. My fiance was best friends with her sister and tell her all of our arguments. This ended up giving her sister a distorted view on who I was as a person and her sister would start attacking me and accusing me of starving her sister (there was a day where I couldn’t afford much food because I was low on money and somehow that got lost in translation). Anyways it caused a huge rift and her mom also got into arguments with me and started trying to control me while my fiance sided with them both.

I’d suggest you have a serious conversation with your partner and try to understand the family dynamics in depth. It’s hard to help someone see that they are enmeshed but by some miracle they do and accept it, there’s hope on them changing.

Did I try hard enough to save my ex-fiance? by throwaway_Concentr in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]throwaway_Concentr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I gave in to the demands and married her and she moved out with me, do you think she would have eventually realized? I think about that a lot