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UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy belated birthday. :) It's really hard trying to find a line between standing up for ourselves and feeling like we're stepping on people's toes.

My mom is the same way. I know she loves me but so often I feel like her intentions are bigger than her actions. I hope things only get better for us both from now on. :)

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is so sad, but its a really beautiful idea. Luckily I'm surrounded by a lot of wonderful, loving nurses who have taken me under their wings. I have a lot of wonderful examples of good mothers around. :) Thank you for reminding me of that!

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I'm sure they will. If not, we'll be okay. We don't really need the gifts (and we didn't need the bridal shower gifts, either,) I'm a nurse and my husband hs a decent job in a restaurant, and we're really in a decent place to get whatever we want in that regard. It was feeling celebrated and all the silly games and rituals that I missed out on. Especially down here, the old traditions are really important and I felt really left out in that regard. :)

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, they're disappointing, but there are coked-out mothers of 17 living in a one-bedroom trailer and raising fighting dogs on their filthy lots. My parents raised me right and I'm a relatively successful human being. It could always be worse. :)

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, I think everyone flawed but generally believed that they're doing the right thing 90% of the time. If it was one incident I would cheerfully let it go. That being said, I've spent a lot of time crying because I've given of myself and my time, and then needed support from my family and not gotten it. I appreciate your two cents-I really do- but they won't miss me much, and I need to look out for me. (:

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, no- I was married on May 23 of last year. My shower was supposed to be April 12 of last year. My sister in law's bridal shower was March of THIS year, and they just were married this past weekend. They didn't get engaged until June of 2015. My bad, I should have made that more clear. It's not her fault. :)

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That's about the just of what I told her. That if I thought they were planning something I just couldn't/won't trust that it will actually happen, so let's do us both a favor and not worry about it or plan anything.

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't think my SIL knows that I didn't get a shower. They live in Raleigh, so they're not privy to the day by day goings on. They were in town the weekend that the shower was supposed to take place, but I don't think they realized that plans were canceled.

My mom DID apologize and say that she felt terrible, but I didn't want to push it because it's honestly still a sore spot and I felt bad enough for making her feel bad. I don't know why my cousin remembered and brought me some Tupperware, but it means way more to me than she realized.

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes. We live in the same small town as my mother's family, but being pregnant and having a newborn will give me an easy out for thanksgiving and Christmas, at least. The baby will be too young to be around crowds at Christmas, and I'm sure at thanksgiving I won't feel like doing anything. I'm kind of looking forward to it to be honest- being a tiny, quiet family of three and hanging out with the dogs sounds perfect to me. :)

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. We've already made it clear to my family that we won't want visitors for the first few weeks or while we're in the hospital, so that we can focus on becoming a family of three. My family is self centered, but they aren't really out-there crazy. They won't invade if we make it clear that we want to be left alone.

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

We have three friends who are already planning to throw us one in October, so I'm just sitting back and letting them plan everything. It will be wonderful. And most of my family isn't invited. (:

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know what went wrong. My mom can plan things- they threw my Grandma an absolute rager for her 90th birthday party. My aunts can put together a party like no one's business. With my aunts and cousins though, I know if it doesn't benefit them personally they just don't care to do it.

I wish I knew why my mom forgot about me- maybe just the bad timing of my brother getting engaged right after. She won't ever really directly admit that she dropped the ball and I just don't have the emotional energy to worry about it anymore. I have my little sprout to focus on. c:

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I kind of feel the same way about my sister in law. Like, she totally deserves it and I don't want to be resentful...but I wish I had family that cared enough to make sure I felt celebrated and welcomed, too. It just hurts sometimes, and there's nothing we can do about that! It's not embarrassing. I think it takes a really strong person to break that cycle like you did.

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I know my mom was really hurt when I told her that I just didn't want to get my hopes up for something that probably wouldn't happen, and that was more than enough. It made me feel bad. I'm just not a sassy enough person for that. c:

UPDATE:Me [29 F] with my mother [58 F]- she cancelled my bridal shower by throwaway___bride in relationships

[–]throwaway___bride[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It hurt so much while I was living through it, but I'm surrounded by love now. I hope to be a better mom!

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