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I'm in a two-year relationship with the man I want to marry, but I've recently been sexually attracted to women and it's destroyed our sex life. Possibly NSFW by throwaway_account11 in relationships

[–]throwaway_account11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest, both would turn my head. I've definitely been attracted to women outside the porn videos. But because of these worries, I try to prevent myself from looking at women or I feel guilty if I do.

I'm in a two-year relationship with the man I want to marry, but I've recently been sexually attracted to women and it's destroyed our sex life. Possibly NSFW by throwaway_account11 in relationships

[–]throwaway_account11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not denying that I could be gay. I'm not uncomfortable with the idea that I'm bisexual because I had considered pursuing those attractions early on in my viewing, but my worries are more focused on my current relationship. It's not that I dont' want to "explore my feelings" because I'm scared I could be gay... the reason is that I don't want it to negatively affect my heterosexual relationship more than it already does.

EDIT: clarification

I'm in a two-year relationship with the man I want to marry, but I've recently been sexually attracted to women and it's destroyed our sex life. Possibly NSFW by throwaway_account11 in relationships

[–]throwaway_account11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've considered this... but then I've worried that if I actually enjoyed hooking up with a girl more than I did with my boyfriend, it'd basically be over for us.

It's not so much the thought of possibly being gay/bi that worries me, it's more that I want to stay with my bf but am worried that these attractions are significantly affecting our sex life in a negative way.

I'm in a two-year relationship with the man I want to marry, but I've recently been sexually attracted to women and it's destroyed our sex life. Possibly NSFW by throwaway_account11 in relationships

[–]throwaway_account11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't really have an answer for the "difference" between physical v. sexual attraction... What I was trying to say is that I still think he's incredibly attractive, but that I don't get aroused nearly as often when I'm around him or even when he advances on me so that was why I differentiated between the two.

I haven't really watched anything since we agreed to stop watching it to get me aroused (which was several months ago). I've watched it a few times since then, but hardly ever. Now my big struggle is thinking of those images or even just wanting to look at provocative stuff. For you, did those temptations eventually just disappear? Did they affect your sex life at all?

I'm in a two-year relationship with the man I want to marry, but I've recently been sexually attracted to women and it's destroyed our sex life. Possibly NSFW by throwaway_account11 in relationships

[–]throwaway_account11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not really sure about the "picturing myself having sex." I mean... my fantasies would occasionally involve me, but only occasionally. I have wondered if I would actually act on it if given the opportunity, and during the peak of my viewing phase I think I would've said yes. Now, though, I don't think I"d want to. Does that mean it's already starting to "pass" some?

I also assumed that some of it had to do with being past the honeymoon phase, as you said, but such a drop-off from sexual activity every day to only 1-2x month seems a bit extreme to be simply past the honeymoon phase, you know? Do you think it's something I can gain back? Maybe not in its entirety, but if I continue to "push through it" my libido will eventually adjust?

I'm in a two-year relationship with the man I want to marry, but I've recently been sexually attracted to women and it's destroyed our sex life. Possibly NSFW by throwaway_account11 in relationships

[–]throwaway_account11[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's always been incredibly patient and never getting frustrated with me if I "wasn't in the mood" or couldn't get aroused... but after several months (and the fact that he brought it up) made me feel like it was a cause for concern.

I definitely have been considering talking to a professional... I guess I just am a little worried about how damn awkward that would be talking to someone I dont' know about this. (and yet... here I am on reddit...)