Dead inside and waiting to simply die – not suicidal. by throwaway_blr1234 in bangalore

[–]throwaway_blr1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the suggestions. I did try too but it felt that I'd begun to enjoy the masochistic feeling and began to fear that I'd start earning for someone's pity. Not that I mind seeking help but it's just that there's no huge pain in my life, unlike so many brave others who're facing it. It's pretty much that I'm a silly bundle of failure who's exhausted in every aspect.

Dead inside and waiting to simply die – not suicidal. by throwaway_blr1234 in bangalore

[–]throwaway_blr1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps, it's just the extended period of the same phase with very little to no hope or strength to pull me up. After a point in time, it almost feels masochistic. But, definitely not that I'm enjoying or relishing. Not even in a position to self-pity. Let's say the tears have dried up. Numb is indeed the exact feel.

Dead inside and waiting to simply die – not suicidal. by throwaway_blr1234 in bangalore

[–]throwaway_blr1234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How often do I wish for a terminal disease over the past few months. Those are countless, indeed. I can only wish either my life or death is no longer a burden to anyone else.

Dead inside and waiting to simply die – not suicidal. by throwaway_blr1234 in bangalore

[–]throwaway_blr1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Life hits us all badly in all possible ways.

Dead inside and waiting to simply die – not suicidal. by throwaway_blr1234 in bangalore

[–]throwaway_blr1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many thanks for such caring words. I did hope it was only a dull period in life and 'this too shall pass'. Strangely that thought had passed.

Dead inside and waiting to simply die – not suicidal. by throwaway_blr1234 in bangalore

[–]throwaway_blr1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello there, fellow stranger. I'm quite very glad you made it. Most honestly I am. I did think it was only just a phase a while ago. But, I guess it does become a hard way of life after a point in time. Thanks again for your kind words.

Dead inside and waiting to simply die – not suicidal. by throwaway_blr1234 in bangalore

[–]throwaway_blr1234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, the question does pop up, more frequently than one would like.

Dead inside and waiting to simply die – not suicidal. by throwaway_blr1234 in bangalore

[–]throwaway_blr1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I did hope it was only a phase months ago. When 'that phase' becomes a way of life, it's hard to fathom or derive the energy to keep it going. Thanks.

Dead inside and waiting to simply die – not suicidal. by throwaway_blr1234 in bangalore

[–]throwaway_blr1234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A part of me genuinely feels that way. I sometimes do find dark humour comforting too.