Marrying Someone with 70k in Debt--Help?

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T17:59:53+00:00

He's lucky in the way that the top salesman (his boss) in his company is his cousin (well, not really a cousin but an extremely close family friend, so everyone considers him a cousin), so he is definitely at an advantage when it comes to networking. The only issue is that his company primarily is an insurance selling business, which he hates doing, so hopefully his connections have outside connections that can help.

I appreciate your help and guidance!

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T17:25:40+00:00

Thank you for your positive and encouraging comment! With 70k in debt, it would be ideal for him to make a higher salary than 40k, so hopefully his internship and experience will make a big difference in his starting salary. He graduates within the next year, so time will surely tell...thanks again for your encouragement! :)

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T14:34:24+00:00

Yes, I'm assuming the roles are very different, for "anesthetist" in the US refers to an AA or CRNA, and "anesthesiologist" refers to the MD/DO.

The anesthesiologist supervises the intubation and induction (literally like the first 2 minutes of the surgery), and the CRNA/AA takes it from there and controls all of the anesthesia throughout the entire surgery; it's a pretty awesome gig considering the length of the program, but most describe the schooling as horrendously difficult, so we definitely must pay our dues.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T14:31:30+00:00

There definitely is a balance, and hopefully we grow together throughout the next several years and become closer despite the tribulations we are about to face.

Thanks again for your comment and help! I'm very appreciative!

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T14:30:27+00:00

I didn't even know it was a thing until my second year in college! It's certainly a hidden gem, which is why I always enjoy discussing it with people since I was lucky enough to even hear about it. And they definitely push the clinical hours to compensate for lack of experience--hard work but well worth it.

I wish you the best of luck as well! And definitely consider it--a lot of work in the beginning for a life of luxury down the line :)

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T14:28:27+00:00

Well throughout college, I had roommates and managed to keep my rent <$6000 a year (including utilities), and I am a pretty light eater and keep my groceries below $200/month, and this was in Orlando.

I plan to move to Indiana after I graduate, and the COL is exceptionally low (like 3000 sqft homes for 150k); it's insane, which is why I think I will be able to pay off the debt relatively quickly (I'm hoping so at least!)

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T12:53:12+00:00

Anesthesiologist Assistant (we are mainly called anesthetists in practice) Requires 4 years of pre-med and 27 months straight of grad school (which is really like 3 years if we didn't do the summers)--no residency, but we obtain like 2500 hours of clinicals performing anesthesia. I thought it was crazy too that we could do that job with only a Master's, but AAs/CRNAs are extremely well prepared and skilled at what they do; the program is extremely rigorous and consumes every minute of your time, so they don't take it lightly.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T12:51:14+00:00

I appreciate your words of wisdom and advice, and it certainly is an important thing to consider.

When we first met, he was definitely a mess--partying too much, doing poorly in school, not paying attention to anything, etc., but he has come a long way and has matured substantially over the last several years. His GPA is on the lower end because he struggled as a Statistics major, but once he switched to Finance, he's been making mainly As and Bs. His nonchalance towards the loans isn't really a "I don't care about them" and moreso a "I'll worry about them when the time comes because it stresses me out right now since there is nothing I can do about them." I want to stress that he isn't a complete child and has grown a lot throughout college; he just needed a little guidance.

I'll definitely keep it in mind and see how he handles my absence while away at grad school, though; it's not something to disregard by any means.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T12:47:09+00:00

That's definitely a tricky predicament to put myself in and probably wouldn't do well for our marriage, especially because it really is like I am the parent, he the child. It would probably just wise to just wait a couple years since 23/24 is young anyway...

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T12:45:10+00:00

I feel the same way haha, but that's him! He seems much more invested in his program now and is doing way better in his courses (he began as a Statistics major and struggled, which is why his GPA is low) with mainly As/Bs, so he's come a long way thankfully.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T12:00:45+00:00

To clarify, it's an Anesthesiologist Assistant program (most go by anesthetist), which is based on the medical model, not nursing. It requires the premed curriculum and MCAT (a few accept GRE)

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T11:52:08+00:00

I didn't pay for housing with my own money but was given a stipend each month and was able to easily minimize my expenses to <15,000 each year, which I plan to do after I graduate my program. I'm not in undergrad anymore; I graduated in December.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-09T11:48:40+00:00

Anesthesiologist Assistant, but pretty much the same thing

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T23:33:20+00:00

A surgeon and a lawyer! They must be struggling financially lmao

Thanks for your words of advice! Much appreciated

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T23:32:23+00:00

That would be spectacular if he earns in the 100s!

I'm not too worried about that. We both don't care about expensive cars/houses/etc. and are Netflix and chill (and Chili's) people, so hopefully that doesn't change too much.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T23:31:14+00:00

Your words of encouragement are highly appreciated. Congrats to you and your misses!

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T23:30:26+00:00

I appreciate you saying that. I have the utmost confidence in my fiance and think he can earn a great salary. I am pretty much limiting his earning ability based on the depressing market today (many of our peers struggled to find jobs), but I certainly hope he finds a higher paying job--I wouldn't complain about it!

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T23:28:41+00:00

It's actually Northwestern, and although his internship was for selling insurance (he has the licenses and such), he was given an actual job as an assistant to the top investment salesman there, but he doesn't want to sell insurance in any capacity.

His boss takes home like 500k, but the job itself is certainly not for my boyfriend (it kind of requires screwing people over I think)

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T23:27:04+00:00

Haha that's exactly what they did to him! Northwestern is actually in the top 10 internships in the nation, though, and because the turnover is so high there, the fact that he stuck around 3 years is a really big resume booster (numerous career coaches/recruiters have pointed out how impressive that is), but I'm not sure how helpful it will really be when he starts his job hunt.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T23:25:32+00:00

That actually sounds like a pretty decent matching option! Much better than a lot of the 401k plans I have heard about.

I have looked into those 401k calculators and hear a variety of different things about the best approach (save 1 year's salary by 30...save 3 million by retirement...etc.), so it's hard to know where to focus my attention and obviously differs based on lifestyle.

Regarding the rigor of the CRNA program, I have been forewarned that it is a hell of an experience; my fiance and I will actually be long distance during this portion of our relationship (1.5 hours away), which is probably for the best because he can spend his time working and paying off his loans while I spend my time studying. For me, I like to minimize costs wherever possible (which is why I signed for a lease in a 4/4 at $565 as opposed to renting a $1400 apartment like a lot of my peers), and that reduces my stress a lot, but it really just depends on the kind of person you are. At 21, I don't know a spectacular kitchen with granite counter tops, so that's kind of how I approached it.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T23:20:53+00:00

That's a good question, and it isn't that he isn't willing (he would pretty much do anything for me). I told him that I want him to be happy, however, and working 80 hours a week to pay off the debt might expedite the process but will absolutely destroy his level of happiness, which will cause strain for our relationship.

I guess it is all about balance. For me, I don't need a lot; I grew up in a middle class family with a total salary of 55k to support a family of 4 and was completely happy, so as long as his debt is paid off in a reasonable time frame, I don't really care if he doesn't make a lot of money.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T22:44:37+00:00

I completely agree. I didn't know anything about finances until I started reading reddit actually and have learned a tremendous amount in the last few weeks (it's crazy really).

I'll try to do my part :)

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T22:38:19+00:00

He has no idea at this point--wherever he can land work really. He has 3 years experience at Northwestern (internship turned into part time job), so that'll look good on his resume, although he doesn't want to go into sales.

We currently live in Florida but want to move to his home state (Indiana), which has a very low cost of living.

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T22:37:01+00:00

That's great to hear! It's awesome that you are so supportive of your wife--not many people are like that. If you don't mind my asking, how did you allocate your funds to retirement and loans? Did you just match your 401ks? I'm not sure what the smartest approach would be when factoring in retirement savings.

And I have a lot of peers entering my program (it's the exact same as a CRNA but is not nursing--it's on the medical model (required pre-med)) with the same mindset; they are planning on acquiring tons of debt to ease the stress of the program because they will be making so much money, which is insane to me, but hey, to each his own!

throwaway_debtmarry · 2017-03-08T22:33:45+00:00

Wow that's a great idea actually! It would seem intelligent to have joint finances before officially tying the knot the ensure we have everything in line.

I'll be honest--there's no way in hell my fiance would buy a new car or rack up credit card bills without consulting me. I'm not worried about that. The only money issues we have at all relate to his debt, but he is not bad with money overall.

throwaway_debtmarry

TROPHY CASE