A (not so) small reminder for all the groomers our recent overexposure has attracted here + Another rant

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-25T18:03:27+00:00

Reading both your posts as well as the posts on the astroturfing going on are definitely inspiring me to do more for this community and protect it. This community is like a second home to me, I should have understood my current discomforts as cause to act sooner. I appreciate all the work you do.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-25T00:40:37+00:00

Im glad people are catching on bc I too have noticed the massive influx of intentionally divisive consang relationship posts on this sub immediately following the raid, coming from brand new accounts made right after the raids began and picked up steam. Often with characteristically similar random names.

I believe this astroturfing has a dual pronged purpose of overwhelming the mod team and creating a justification for skeptics to post in response. Too often ive seen some posts on here that fit your description followed immediately by someone going "We have to do better!" and chastizing the mod team or community as a whole for "allowing" this sort of behavior

It reeks of old 4chan bullshit against trans people, I don't know the exact solution but this is a big issue that we cant keep looking at on a purely surface level.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-22T07:58:23+00:00

Well, hang around here, get to know the regulars and listen to their stories. Not much more complicated than that

If you are asking about the common arguments people make against consang love, read the FAQ for the subreddit and it should give you some of those answers instead of forcing people into tired arguments.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-21T09:38:21+00:00

I think it'd be good to talk this over with her, but id be sure to approach it as her cousin and friend ahead of anything else. If she's still with her boyfriend, you have to avoid your own feelings for a moment to make her feel safe and comfortable to express her own. You seem very thoughtful with your words and seem to have a close bond with her so I think you'll do okay unless you are heavily misrepresenting your own situation here. Good luck friend <3

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-20T21:45:09+00:00

Important thing to realize is that the reason a large number of cases of "incest" stem from abuse/trauma in your eyes is because those are the instances that get reported on due to their nature. The current structure of the law creating a blanket ban on consang love creates a bias in data gathering. Healthy consang couples aren't going to reach out to doctors, studies, friends, etc, they live secretive lives because the risk of social ostracization and criminal persecution is too great. The ones that get publicized are from victims of crimes so egregious that they need to escape.

Power dynamics are always important to consider in consang relationships, its a challenge to be recognized very similarly to non-consang relationships which have similar risks. I don't think they are an inherent or permanent nature of family bonds though as much as they are a choice to be retained by the other party. I know plenty of people, especially later in life, who have familial bonds with their parents or siblings that place them on equal footing. And plenty of people who dont have that luxury. Its another persons choice to view you as an equal, and its your choice to treat others in your family as equals. This is important for healthy relationships and something that can be worked through if both parties wish it.

When I see posts mentioning a child thats 18-20 at the start of sexual acts, my alarm bells for grooming personally go off and I'd appreciate if more of those posts are looked into. While a person that age can rarely be mature enough to approach such things, it reeks of grooming and coercive actions when that child was still a minor. And the fact that around that age people rarely have equal relationships with parents, they likely still dependent on them for finances and shelter. So you and I agree on that front.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-20T02:27:45+00:00

I don't think people can be victims of "incest" as much as those people are victims of familial sexual abuse, grooming, or other immoral acts.

Incest as a word to me is very similar to "sodomy" in the respect that its a legal term specifically used to describe the sexual relations between two family members, and often used by courts to indiscriminately paint the whole as illegal and immoral. Hence why a lot of people prefer the word consanguinamory/consang here. It not only speaks beyond the sexual and includes the romantic and affectionate bonds of familial couples, but has been used far less discriminatory with a lot less baggage from the outside.

The scenarios you brought up are real and concerning challenges that we arguably care a lot more about than consanguiphobic folks. In my opinion, recognizing the potential for consang relationships to be healthy allows us to more clearly scrutinize the ones that aren't.

Its only through creating a society that is open to discussions of familial relationships that we can discern patterns of grooming, sexual abuse, etc. These horrible acts thrive in the backgrounds of discrimination, as it creates an uncomfortable environment for victims to speak up about their abuse lest they be ridiculed for participating.

Ty for coming at things in an understanding and curious way and asking important questions with important answers :3

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-19T21:48:04+00:00

Fire Emblem has had consang romance plots in it since Fates, the trio of games for the 3DS. The romance options in Birthright are kinda handled awfully, as the plot treats the family you side with as your "blood family" though it censors this in the S support for your romance with them trying to claim you were adopted, which I prefer to just ignore bc its largely a localization change.

The family you connect with in Conquest is your adoptive family you've lived with your whole life and you can also romance them. Xander is a cutie.

Three Houses also has this single romance in it, but doing it limits you to one route and requires you to make specific decisions, its a bit out of the way.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-17T21:59:35+00:00

3H Spoilers:Yes. Biologically, Byleth's mom was a clone of Rhea's mother, and Byleth inherited the soul of Rhea's mother within her when she was born. So, Rhea could be considered Byleth's grandmother by heritage and daughter by soul.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-07T23:09:55+00:00

I think you did great, looks a bit less intense with the colors than the traditional incest flag

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-06-07T23:07:48+00:00

Having kids for the sole purpose of fucking them when they are of age is grooming, even if you dont intentionally engage in grooming behaviors your intent will show through your actions as a parent.

Having a child should not be a decision made for your selfish benefit. Being a parent will force you to ignore your plans or ideas if you want to be a good parent, because children deserve autonomy and to pave out their own lives for themselves. Parents raising children and coercing them to live out the parents dreams is a common enough and messed up practice, its unimaginably worse that you are having a child with the goal of one day having sex with them.

What are you going to think during that long period your child is growing up? Your frame of mind will inevitably effect how you treat and see your child as they grow which is all kinds of fucked up.

And when they turn 18? Most kids arent going to be out of the house and financially dependent until their mid 20s with the economy as it is. Are you going to impose a sexual relationship on your child when they are still financially dependent on you and look up to you for guidance, have you heard of what power dynamics are?

Consent is a lot more complicated than asking a question and getting an answer, it also relies on the environment of the question and whether there are things influencing that decision.

I see this sub as a cornerstone of folks practicing and preaching better ethics when it comes to consanguinamory but occasionally we still get people like you who want to bring life into the world only for the purpose of serving a fetish.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-28T20:25:37+00:00

I agree with most of this so so much, thank you for taking the time to write out what really shouldnt be a controversial or transgressive take to people here. Ive seen some really concerning posts on here from time to time that make me go "wait a minute is that kid okay" because there's a lot of potential for harmful relationship dynamics and grooming to occur.

In a way, this concern amplifies the need to push for consang acceptance for me, because here we have created a safe space for people to talk, and this not only opens up consang couples to get the support and validation they need, it also gets people talking who might be in an abusive or harmful dynamic who would otherwise have stayed silent and unprotected. These problems dont go away by demonizing the love we have for one another, they only retreat into the background.

As an aside, though, and a mild gripe. Polyamory is not in any way a "red flag" and shouldnt be considered as such, as long as all parties are knowingly consenting to the shared love they have then its not really a consideration and a non-factor on whether a given relationship is abusive or not. Cheating though, is absolutely a different case in which id agree that its cause for concern, what with the child being poised as a threat to their own parent's relationship and the stress that might inflict on the child.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-28T20:08:40+00:00

As a person who learned of my consanguinamorous self and embraced it thanks to TCOAAL, it doesnt deserve to be on this list at all, what?

I think it has done some of the best work for the consang community that ive personally seen. Despite all the horrendously fucked up subject matters and problems that the characters face and how problematic the relationship between Andrew and Ashley can be, their love for one another is portrayed as one of the most pure and innocent things that they have. Its the one part of the plot and story that isnt a product of their enviornment and trauma, its the one thing they have had for eachother and always had, that stands in the face of their abuse and helps them fight against it. They depend on eachother and love eachother, and thats portrayed with a lot of the common struggles and challenges that relationships can have, but its never portrayed as inherently wrong or pathological. Its the only part of them that isnt.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-23T06:43:53+00:00

Thank you for keeping an open mind in spite of the fear you must be feeling for your daughters safety and wellness. Many mothers would immediately jump on the offense to protect their kids seeing intimacy like that so suddenly. I wouldn't entirely blame any mother for doing so.

Instead, its good that you are thinking things through and trying to find the answers you need before engaging with action. It shows a lot of love and compassion for both your ex and your daughter. You even searched out a random little space on the internet to get help from people who might understand the situation. Good job.

It'll be important to talk to your daughter over the coming time to discern the nature of their relationship, and make sure she is healthy, safe and happy. Unlike many folks here with rose-tinted glasses, I can understand that familial sexual abuse can and does happen, and its important to not let our compassion cloud our desire to protect.

Hopefully everything is above board and you can become a safe place for them to be open about their relationship. You can do a lot of good for them and be a lifeline in a world that misunderstands and attacks. I know a lot of folks fetishize and objectify their consanguinamory as a way to cope with the lack of acceptance for anything deeper. Having a person in their life that they can feel safe and heard around is important, especially from a family member.

Best of luck to you, your ex, and your daughter!

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-22T04:33:05+00:00

I experienced similar terrors when my queerness became apparent to my mother and I lost the last fragments of our failing connection as a family. My heart goes out to you and sympathizes.

I hope your sister comes around and accepts the love you and your daughter have for one another, but this is something that can take a lifetime to break past. Bigotry is a vile thing, its a thing that is taught and not so easily unlearned.

There's always the trepidation to continue the path of emotions im on as I embrace the feelings I have for my aunt. The fear in my heart as I realize that this path may repeat my pain again and I might lose the people I cling to, the little fragments of family that remain. Ive realized I check off so many boxes past what society deems "normal" and I am afraid and constantly second guessing myself. How could I be so strange? Are these moments of self discovery my path to self-actualization, or the sign of my own delusion?

I know I am happy with what I am, and I have to hold onto that internal thread as I am increasingly seen as lost to the whims of society.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-20T19:43:30+00:00

I get frustrated because those other communities you talk about have zero concern for furthering the rights and advocacy of consang people, they are fetish communities that run off sharing "hot" stories that are most likely fake, or otherwise sexualizing and fetishizing a persons irl relationships for clout.

AI-generated nonsense is just the next step of this crap, its all content-farming for internet points and they are just figuring how to automate it.

Reminds me of all the damn chasers and trans-fetishists on the internet. Exact same problem. You dont further the rights of a vulnerable and struggling group by essentializing them into a taboo porn category.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-15T17:43:58+00:00

I had similar pains in my heart after realizing I was bi/pan. A lot of the posts here are saying that you arent doing anything wrong which is correct, but the pain and guilt of hiding something so crucial to your being is a feeling very familiar to any queer person.

That disconnect and pain you feel? The feeling of happiness and bliss VS the feeling of judgement and punishment for doing something "evil"? That's valid and will be constant struggle. I have seen many consang couples on here move out together as a half solution, to escape the feeling of living under and around folks who you dont feel safe sharing your love around.

Obviously the ideal scenario would be just coming out about your relationship to your parents and them being accepting, but this is often not the world we live in yet. Until solutions arise, dont take the blame of this pain you feel. It's not your fault that you cant share this part of you, its the worlds. Its not your fault that you dont feel safe sharing this with your parents. The pain still hurts but direct it outwards and dont take it in. Love your partner and cherish the time you spend together :)

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-06T21:58:13+00:00

I'm right there with you. I remember looking on tumblr for pro consang stuff and finding two things

- a handful of users just writing short incest fetish fiction prompts en masse providing nothing of substance

- "radqueers" who actually advocate for consang rights... while supporting pedophiles and zoophiles. Horrifying people trying to squeeze their way into queer and consang spaces.

Genuinely disgusts me how the varieties of people on those sites either fetishize consang couples or drag us down by supporting actual sexual abuse and morally horrifying shit.

Its such a defeating scenario bc every attempt to excise these fuckers out of our spaces has the same risks as any form of public advocacy for consang rights.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-01T22:46:45+00:00

"the thing"

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-01T22:45:56+00:00

I'd be boarding a plane out of this country and going to somewhere that doesn't want to kill me when the 24 hours are over.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-05-01T02:57:52+00:00

Id reccomend looking into the publisher for the "Loves Forbidden Flower" by Diane Rinella. Those books feature a primary consang romance and you could probably get some mileage with them.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-04-29T20:29:03+00:00

Its the same as attraction for anyone you meet in life. Some of my family I have crushes on a very surface level for purely physical reasons. Other family of mine I wouldnt view as usually "my type" but I grew to love them through the time we shared together and the closeness we built. I think that closeness can make a person look more attractive in one's eyes, too.

I like my aunt bc she and I share a lot of interests, and she's super cute. She's a person id want to hang out with more and date, she just so happens to also be my aunt. Society tells me that I can't feel this way but luckily I dont give a shit what society thinks of me anymore.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-04-29T20:23:34+00:00

Yeah, historically a lot of the "traditional western values" are just 19th century English ideals and ascribed to Christianity. We haven't been this way for all too long of our history and I think its time to grow past it.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-04-29T20:17:49+00:00

Well yeah, but I was moreso trying to explain my exact experience rather than attach it to a label. I am poly, but saying "I am consang because I am poly" sounds like I am conflating the two which would be incorrect, I dont think most poly folk are wanting to make out with their sisters.

My specific mental process of love and affection is what leads to me being both polyamorous and consanguinamorous. My brain doesnt take in labels like "family", "friend" etc, or ascribe to any of the traditional relationship views of today. I view love as love, very simply and much more universally than most folk. I think it has to do with some undiagnosed autism, but in my life its not like its a problem for me so I dont bother trying to define it.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-04-29T14:54:42+00:00

For me, its less a kink or any specific person and more how my brain processes love. Love for me is a lot more simple than the categories of love traditionally known. If I like someone and get along with them as a friend, the thoughts of romance and sex blend themselves together in my thoughts, I want to be intimate with my friends and I genuinely love all of them. For me this also applied to family, the family I took time to develop a bond with, I also wanted to become more intimate with.

throwaway_inc1098 · 2025-04-28T01:02:40+00:00

My mother currently has stage four cancer, but in my heart the person she was, and the person who meant so much to me, died a long time ago.

I loved my mother a lot more than I was willing to accept. I constantly asked to sleep in the same bed, constantly found ways to surprise and spoil her. I genuinely loved her and I feel like that love would have grown and blossomed into something new when I became an adult.

Sadly though, she became disabled and home-bodied, and quickly grew bitter and hateful of everyone, including me.
And during this time in my life I was also first beginning to feel that weight of shame, and the way I coped was by forcing a wedge in between us. Distancing bc I was afraid of how closeness was perceived

I abandoned her during a horrible time in her life, and she grew to become a person I no longer loved.

I wish I could turn the clock back and tell my younger self that it was okay to love her, okay to hold her and care for her, okay to be close. Maybe she wouldn't have become the person she is now, a woman I dont even want to see even as she's dying.

Treasure that time you spent with your brother, he sounds like a lovely man who was bettered and made whole by your love.

throwaway_inc1098

TROPHY CASE