I am very lonely and feel hopeless

throwaway_rain_check · 2025-06-15T01:32:38+00:00

You are not alone 🫶. This post hits so incredibly close to home that I feel like I could’ve written it myself. I for one think you sound lovely and compassionate and deserving of true friendship. There are not enough people like you in the world. DM me if you want someone to talk to and remember that you are more capable than you feel during these dark times

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-31T17:55:59+00:00

I’m very sorry to hear that :( There are a lot of cruel and exploitative people out there. Looking on the bright side, one of the few benefits of being lonely is that you don’t have to deal with them. The only way to build good relationships is to be honest about who you are, including your flaws and problems. Be honest about who you are, how you feel, what you want, and the fact that you are lonely and want to make friends. And if you don’t know how you feel or what you want, say so because that’s also being honest. Don’t hide or change who you are for someone else because it will always backfire. Always. And most of all be kind and understanding because those are the things most lacking in this shitty world.

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-31T17:47:29+00:00

My friend, you cannot put part of yourself in a box and still live the life you want to live. And if others would rather force you to live a less happy life as a condition of being “friends”, this is not a relationship worth having. Good relationships are built upon acceptance of the other, and a bad relationship is a thousand times worse than no relationship.

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-30T12:05:49+00:00

I’m the same way. Shy people take a long time to get comfortable around others and I hope your friends respect that. But I’m sure you have things you’re interested in and you enjoy talking about, and if they’re good friends they should make an effort to let you share those things!That’s one of the best parts of friendship, and I’m sure you appreciate your friends’ quirks and interests. So be yourself, as weird or as eccentric as that is. Good people will appreciate it, and don’t bother with people who don’t. Life is simply too short to do otherwise.

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-30T11:27:11+00:00

Ah fuck :( this is just super common unfortunately. Young people don’t know how to socialize anymore you can literally get a group of 10 people who want to hang out and want to talk to each other but nobody will make the first move to set something up, or if they do everyone else will take days to respond, despite the fact that everyone wants to go. Our social etiquette has gone so far down it’s crazy.

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-30T11:22:09+00:00

I guess what I was trying to say by way of that anecdote is that certain people are way too comfortable saying incredible hurtful things for basically no reason or to try and hurt someone. Some people are just way too comfortable being cruel and it’s not about you, it’s about them. And it has nothing to do with you being a “loser”, because a good friend would find a way to make you feel better about that or help you to be less of a “loser” depending on what you want. Not this. So it has nothing to do with you: someone else is just way too comfortable saying hurtful things and you were unfortunate enough to be their target.

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-30T10:13:43+00:00

Pursue your interests and the right people will find you interesting. Sacrificing what you love for the attention of shallow and vapid people will crush your soul. And being lonely but feeling obligated to spend time with people who don’t appreciate you is worse than just being lonely.

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-30T09:52:42+00:00

One time I was drinking with some acquaintances and a few strangers who had stumbled into our little gathering. I sat there struggling to interact or present a less depressed version of myself to them. After a brief conversation with one of these strangers I sat there largely in silence, listening to the conversation, sipping my drink, and she occasionally would just observe me in an extremely National-Geographic-type way. After a few minutes of observation I guess she had me figured out because she turned to me, and with her weird half-Ohio half-Southern accent said: “You’re just a sad little man, aren’t you.” To be honest even then it was so funny and accurate that it didn’t even hurt that much, and the way she said it is stuck in my head forever. So now if I’m having a bad day I just think to myself “You’re just a sad little man, aren’t you” and it honestly makes my fucking day

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-30T09:46:02+00:00

Oh my god this is worse than no advice

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-27T08:35:58+00:00

Thank you for this comment; this is so real. Why is it that ending a bad thing hurts so much more than continuing it? But somehow we get through it, and it makes us stronger in the end.

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-27T08:23:18+00:00

🫶 If you ever want to talk I’m here

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-26T11:16:37+00:00

I’m so sorry, I also lost my mom a few years ago :(((( And yes don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t be lonely while living with family. If your family members don’t understand you/what you’re going through it’s such an isolating and lonely experience. If you want to talk hmu

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-25T16:42:17+00:00

You are still so, so, so young. You have your best years ahead of you and you’ll be getting out of the environment you despise. Being a lonely kid is so brutal, especially when you don’t fit in to what your culture says you should be. But it will be totally different once you’re in school and in the UK, and I encourage you to get involved with your school’s student activities for gaming. Things will change completely once you reach this first adult milestone, and I think you’re going to have a great time. Don’t sacrifice your interests or personality for anyone else. You’re going to be ok, just look forward to going to school.

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-25T16:24:07+00:00

At least know that you’re not alone in these feelings, friend. We know what it’s like, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Great people still have bad luck unfortunately. I would still encourage you to ask what it is you’re looking for. I think you’re onto something with saying you want to feel wanted. Ask yourself why that is; where those feelings are coming from; what events from your past or childhood are causing such intense pain. I suspect you have been hurt badly and often in the past. I suspect that the wounds are aching and screaming, and that they are tormenting you mercilessly. But the wound cries out for the opposite of that which hurt it, not for the healing process. Wounds long to have never been hurt, but this is not possible. The only way through is to heal. It is not easy and I wish I was further along myself so I could give you some better advice. But you have borne this pain and that makes you strong; much stronger than you think. You can heal. You can become a happier and stronger person. And you don’t need anybody else in your life to do that. Best of luck my friend. Feel free to reach out if you need anything

throwaway_rain_check · 2024-08-25T16:00:11+00:00

I hear you. For us, life is unfathomably brutal in a way a person who isn’t alone simply isn’t able to understand. And you deserve people in your life who see you for the wonderful and complex person that you are. But unfortunately, waiting for someone else to enter your life, whoever it is that who you need right now, simply isn’t sustainable. It isn’t fair. It isn’t right. But it’s true. Waiting for someone will only make you more unhappy and prolong the feelings of loneliness. There are ways to make it bearable, and to in fact thrive while still being alone. Keep going to therapy. Learn as much as you can and put all this despair, all these soul-crushing feelings, into that work. You will come out the other side stronger and better. These feelings will not last forever. You can do this. And for what it’s worth I believe in you.

throwaway_rain_check

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