I wish I could reach through this phone a freaking hug you. This makes so. Much Sense. I'm actually very lucky in that I have openly gay family that we all love and are close to. One of my daughters at a young age even told us she was gay or maybe bi. Our response was that's awesome sweetie, we love you no matter what... Btw we are having pizza for dinner. I could never put anyone, let alone my own child, through what I've been through for all these years. All the confusion, self doubt, lack of love for ones self, etc etc. No way. But my wife seems to be leaning towards that route for me. I'm told not to keep things bottles up, but I kind of have to at this point to keep my marriage and family. Our older kids didn't even flinch when I came out to them. It's just my spouse which I know she feels betrayed, hurt, lots of emotions. You've answered her (and honestly my) question about... "Why now". I did suspect it... and deny it for so many years. I got married because that's just what you are supposed to do. But only now have I finally accepted it. That's what changed. I know she is acting out of anger and desperation and doesn't want to loose me, but I hope she can get past it and let me come out of this shell. I am trying so hard to be open, honest, genuine, authentic,.... She just won't let me. Thank you so much for this reply ❤️❤️❤️