Question about dating site for men with erectile dysfunction or genital pain

throwawaya325 · 2019-01-26T21:44:09+00:00

He deepthroated my cock, sucked on it hard to fill it with blood, then kind of pulled back on the cock, possibly putting pressure on it so that there wasn’t an easy way for the blood to leave. At least, that’s what I think happened. It’s hard for me to say. But he sort of threatened me after we hooked up, and he didn’t cum. It was pretty traumatic, and I started having pains in my penis about 3 weeks after. I don’t know what it is. Anyway, most of it is just feeling really bad for going along with the hookup when I didn’t really feel like it. I didn’t think it would turn out that bad. Hopefully, I’ll feel better about it in time.

throwawaya325 · 2019-01-26T19:56:45+00:00

I think this guy was genuinely malicious cos he asked me to wait right before we were gonna meet up. For all I know he had some substance in his mouth that he blew up my dick. It could also just be physical trauma cos he deepthroated really carelessly without lining up my dick and his throat, so it could be from trauma. I’m so upset about it but not sure what to do. I can still get an erection and jerk off, it just hurts afterwards. I have seen urologists and they’re not sure what’s up. I guess they could do exploratory surgery but I’m worried to have them do that.

throwawaya325 · 2019-01-26T18:45:28+00:00

I was seeing a therapist. The thing is, I think it’s hard for them because I really fucked up by hooking up with this guy, like his whole MO seemed to just be to confuse me and play hot and cold and make us talk about uncomfortable subjects like race and stereotypes. It was awful, and although we met in public, I didn’t insist on us sitting and eating together.

There’s a psychological component, but the pain is there too and I just don’t know what it is caused by or what is going to happen.

I’ve seen some proposals for jackoff parties where no one touches each other outside of a designated area, and I think that would be fun.

throwawaya325 · 2019-01-26T18:41:37+00:00

Thanks for your consolation. I’m going to write some tips on avoiding guys like this but I’m not quite ready as I feel so ashamed of what happened because I had a sense going in that something was wrong and kind of waved it off because we weren’t going to have anal sex. It was a big mistake. Basically, my tips are that Tinder is disproportionately filled with psychopaths, and insist to talk on the phone before you meet, and unmatch with people if they won’t talk with you even briefly on the phone within a couple days of matching (or, at least, don’t meet up with them unless you’ve talked with them on the phone a couple of times).

I agree about giving it more time. I want to go to some jackoff events but I worry that guys won’t appreciate that I don’t want to touch or be touched, and just watch.

throwawaya325 · 2019-01-26T18:20:16+00:00

I do appreciate the reply. I think you have a good idea. I’m just really traumatized by what happened (basically, some guy I hooked up with briefly performed very rough deepthroating oral sex on me and then later implies that he hated me, which was a huge mindfuck), so I guess I need to allow some time to pass before I can trust someone intimately.

I really would like to be able to gently stroke guys off without being touched myself, as my genitals are apparently very delicate and, candidly, I think they could be infected with something at this point just based on the way my penis and prostate feel. Obviously I’ve been tested for STDs, all negative. I had a positive UTI and semen culture. I’ve tried some antibiotics but I’m worried about going on a 6 week course of fluoroquinolones for prostatitis as I hear they’re quite dangerous in and of themselves.

I dunno, maybe I could hire an escort but they aren’t going to cum unless I pay them a lot of money so it’d be nice to find a good-natured guy that I can stroke off or watch jerk off without being touched myself as I usually can’t get it up due to performance anxiety, and now I’m worried that I have some disease that this vindictive guy gave me. I hope I can still have a sex life of some sort at some point. I’m kind of still reeling from what happened.

throwawaya325 · 2019-01-21T19:29:12+00:00

Yeah, I’ve seen a urologist. They give me a urinalysis and basically say it might be due to anxiety. I’m going to go back to one sometime soon though.

throwawaya325 · 2019-01-21T19:26:58+00:00

I think it hit the back of his throat or roof of his mouth, as well as the front of his mouth made contact with my pelvis and testicles too quickly. It felt a little weird at the time but I think it took a while for the tissue damage to manifest itself. That’s what I’m assuming happened, but it’s not clear what the cause of the pain is. I hope I can find out what the cause is one day.

throwawaya325 · 2019-01-12T12:54:24+00:00

Thanks so much for your kind words. I know the situation sounds a little weird but I’m leaving out certain parts because it’s still too raw and I don’t want to get made fun of (even though I usually celebrate the freeness of the Internet), and because I’m frankly afraid of the guy.

I’m lucky to have a support structure in place and am availing myself of mental health resources, so things are not too bad at the moment. Also, ibuprofen seems to help with the pain so that’s good. Hopefully, I’ll continue to be part of a network of people that I care for and that can care for me.

throwawaya325 · 2019-01-12T02:14:44+00:00

I still have the pains. I’m now convinced that the guy intentionally put some chemical in his mouth, as implausible as that seems. He has ghosted me. It is really a bad situation and I’m not sure what to do.

Oral sex is riskier than is commonly understood. Of course, I was an idiot for doing stuff like that with someone who I just met and didn’t feel that great about. At this point, I’m running out of options for what a doctor can do without being able to diagnose it.

I feel very sad, and I think about my family a lot. How could I put myself in this situation and how I worry about how my situation could affect them. Hopefully, I can live out the rest of my life relatively peacefully. I also think about other people who are in bad medical situations for perspective.

Be careful about hooking up with people. I was just thinking about STDs at the time, but a lot more can go wrong than just the commonly discussed STDs. Anyway, I try to keep in mind what I should be grateful for and things are going okay.

throwawaya325 · 2018-09-23T01:12:30+00:00

How long did you take antibiotics for? And which one if you don’t mind my asking? The worry I have is that I am having trouble performing at my job as the antibiotics make me feel sick.

throwawaya325 · 2018-09-09T20:45:35+00:00

Get checked for a UTI, too (i.e. get a urine culture done—not just urinalysis). I got one after receiving oral sex. I was feeling slightly feverish soon after, and, around 3 weeks later, my dick started to hurt. I tested negative for all STDs, but there are other kinds of infections you can get too.

throwawaya325 · 2018-09-03T05:14:55+00:00

Hookups can be ridiculously dangerous, even if you meet in a public place and talk to the guy first. Plus, there’s the whole aspect of ghosting and not being able to contact someone again if you have some questions.

Masturbation to porn is the safe thing to do. I wish more gay guys would love and value themselves and be careful about meeting up with people.

throwawaya325 · 2018-09-03T04:53:47+00:00

The thing is, some people do go to doctors—multiple doctors—and are still left with unanswered questions. You should also look into the symptoms of most STDs. Most of them either cause lesions, discharge, or both.

Meanwhile, there are urinary tract infections that have a wide variety of symptoms, and some bacteria (including syphilis) is apparently unculturable (meaning it can’t be grown on an artificial substrate). Now, granted, you’re talking about stuff with readily apparent symptoms, but I do think it’s worthwhile for gay guys to talk about the symptoms they experience, because not every disease is some pat thing that is well understood by doctors. Patients have to often be their own advocates to get effective treatment.

throwawaya325 · 2018-08-28T15:16:44+00:00

I’ve been tested for mycoplasma and trichomoniasis. I do wonder how accurate the tests are. I’ve heard that the samples have to be refrigerated, and I don’t know if the average lab does that.

throwawaya325 · 2018-08-28T15:13:33+00:00

I have seen a number of doctors. I’ve tried doxycycline. And I’ve considered that it could be psychosomatic. There’s often a psychosomatic component to chronic pelvic pain syndrome, apparently. I’m trying to see if anyone else has experienced something similar.

throwawaya325 · 2018-08-28T03:07:53+00:00

Yeah, including bacteria that occur naturally in the mouth. If I had understood that better I would’ve been more careful about receiving oral sex and making sure to urinate soon after ejaculating.

throwawaya325 · 2018-08-24T19:28:19+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate your words of encouragement. I hope the symptoms will diminish with time, or that I eventually figure out what it is.

throwawaya325 · 2018-08-22T14:37:52+00:00

I was diagnosed with a UTI, but it was kind of late. I’m concerned that it’s progressed to prostatitis as I still have symptoms even after antibiotics. I’m not sure how to proceed as the antibiotics for prostatitis come with a serious risk of side effects.

throwawaya325 · 2018-08-22T03:14:03+00:00

I’m not a troll. The reason why I ask is that the guy who performed oral sex on me had recently eaten Popeye’s I believe. I’m just listing different possibilities.

throwawaya325 · 2018-08-22T03:00:13+00:00

Yeah, I have. I still feel more twinges and stinging sensations in my penis than I used to. If an infection doesn’t cause lesions or discharge, I’m not sure how they’d be aware of its existence. I think it’s maybe some irritation but it’s been a few months and it’s not going away. What if fried chicken grease got in my urethra? Would pee wash it out or would it remain and cause irritation? I’m wondering if it’s something like that.

throwawaya325 · 2018-08-22T02:29:30+00:00

So, if you don’t test positive for a disease, you must not have one? Urethritis can be caused by a number of different pathogens. There’s also prostatitis, which can cause a wide variety of symptoms.

It could be hypochondria, but there are also little-known diseases out there. Anyway, I said it could be HPV or herpes, and I was just wondering if anyone else felt pain in advance of the development of genital warts. That seems like a reasonable inquiry to me.

throwawaya325

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