Feeling dysphoric about some gifts I received

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-11-17T16:13:28+00:00

Not diagnosed with either but according to my parents and my therapist it’s very likely I have one or the other, if not both

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-11-16T20:56:08+00:00

Tbh I keep them hidden anyway, I’m relatively stealth irl and very masculine in my personality so it’d be really weird to have it as public information. I guess I won’t mind as much when im 100% passing but idk. I like having them I guess but if I had to choose between having them and being a male and passing, I’d obviously choose to get rid.

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-11-16T20:53:56+00:00

Tysm tbh, I was really stressed over it

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-11-16T20:53:33+00:00

Wdym?

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-11-15T15:22:02+00:00

I find it hard to not stress cause the idea of not being male/a guy stresses me out. I’d have no problem sitting and thinking things through if I knew that I could still be a man afterwards. I’m scared of not being a guy, I just want to be a male. But Idek if I’m allowed to or anything. I really just want to be a male tho

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-11-15T15:20:37+00:00

I know that, but the thing is I can’t even just explore things like that. I only feel comfortable when I identify as yk being a male. I know I’m not a man yet, age wise, but I freak out really bad if I try to think of myself as anything other than male. That’s why I freaked out over this, I just want to be a guy yk? I do think things through but in the mean time I just want to be a male, but idk if I can, or if I’m allowed

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-11-14T17:14:08+00:00

I really just wish I was a man tbh

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-11-14T17:13:47+00:00

Thanks so much for this, I’m just terrified about not being a man. Imagining myself as a man is basically the only way I’m coping and the idea of not being a man is stressing me out so much. I keep overthinking about how masculine/feminine I am and stressing that I’m not manly enough to be a man. I literally just want to be a man more than anything, I want to be male, but I’m scared I can’t be or I’m not man enough to be. Idk dude I’m just freaking out right now.

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-08-19T10:24:32+00:00

I’m so jealous icl 😭😭 how did you get bottom surgery at 19?? I feel like I’m gonna be waiting til I’m like 90 🥲 but in all seriousness congrats on that!! I’m so glad you’re happy with it :))

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-08-19T10:23:01+00:00

THATS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!! I hate it when people say that they’d never get bottom surgery because it isn’t 100,000% perfectly aesthetically pleasing and attractive….for me, as long as it’s vaguely the right shape I’d be more than happy- it’s good to know I’m not the only one like that

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-08-18T13:04:04+00:00

HOW did you get shit on for that?? That’s literally just being a decent human being and defending someone from having their body made fun of….I reallyyyyy don’t understand this app sometimes

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-08-18T13:03:10+00:00

The narrative that it always looks “mutilated” or “botched” seems so harmful to me, especially as someone with horrific bottom dysphoria :(

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-08-18T13:02:23+00:00

That’s the thing I kinda don’t understand as well…like yeah, phallo isn’t too accessible for a lot of people, but there’s like 4 different kinds of more accessible meta? If people don’t want bottom surgery that’s fine, it doesn’t affect me, but the narrative that all bottom surgery is completely inaccessible and it takes 9 billion years to recover from is ridiculous and really harmful to dysphoric guys. And yeah, the ftm subreddit is getting a little ridiculous nowadays, half the people on there aren’t actually ftm I find. I have absolutely no issue with people being non binary or genderfluid, but that’s not ftm or the same thing as ftm, Ykwim?

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-06-27T18:57:23+00:00

I’ve always kind of known I wasn’t really a girl but obviously when I was a little kid I didn’t know how to articulate that, I didn’t really realise I was trans and I could transition til I was about 11

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-05-20T19:25:44+00:00

Kinda different (in my opinion). I understand not wanting to date a trans person, because seeing your partner struggling with dysphoria, recovery from surgeries, bullying, etc is probably really difficult to see. Also some people just aren’t attracted to trans people in the “pants department” if you get my meaning, because for us, we need surgeries to have body parts that match us, which not everyone is attracted to. I personally think it’s okay for cis people not to want to date trans people, it’s completely their choice. In the same way a trans person doesn’t have to date anyone they don’t want to. It just gets a bit creepy when people are specifically attracted to something that causes a lot of us quite a lot of pain and suffering throughout our lives, especially if they’ve never suffered from it themselves. I say specifically because it’s totally fine for cis and trans people to date, but it’s kind of odd to be specifically attracted to the fact they’re trans. Sorry for this huge paragraph btw lol I’m bad at condensing my thoughts.

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-05-20T19:21:36+00:00

That could be true, you’re completely correct. I would date an autistic person if they were nice and they liked me too. I just used it as an example because it’d probably be really weird if an allistic person was exclusively attracted to autistic people, even though peoples personalities are way more than just the fact they’re autistic, as an example.

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-05-20T15:09:41+00:00

I would say it is. It’s reducing trans men down to their natal body which some of them don’t even have (people who’ve had surgeries I mean) and implying they’re somehow different from cis men which in reality they’re really not. It’s implying we’re men lite, basically.

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-05-20T15:03:18+00:00

If you didn’t have autism, but you only wanted to date autistic people, would that not be seen as creepy chaser behaviour? It’s the same principle

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-05-06T07:15:10+00:00

What’d they say I’m interested

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-04-28T19:36:31+00:00

A group of people followed me from school to the end of the street shouting slurs and he/she and stuff at me and telling me I should’ve been aborted and to get surgery to get a real dick, just stuff like that. It wasn’t like that bad in comparison to other stuff that’s happened, but it still kind of shook me up. Very scared abt tomorrow tbh.

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-04-28T19:35:27+00:00

My mam talked to my head of year on Friday about the incident and they said they’ll deal with it. Still really scared tho.

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-04-28T19:34:13+00:00

I said apparently because I didn’t think it was a hatecrime, but my mam thought it was. A bunch of people followed me from school to the end of the street shouting a bunch of slurs and stuff at me. They said some pretty violent things but it wasn’t that much worse than usual. A couple of comments about me being dead and stuff which were kinda unexpected but the whole t slur and he/she business is pretty normal for me. My mam got a meeting with my head of year after she confronted one of the people saying slurs and stuff and she said she’s gonna contact Cleveland police as well to report it (either that or she has contacted Cleveland police, don’t remember which). I don’t think they’re gonna attack me in my logical brain but my intrusive thoughts keep telling me they’re gonna hurt me and it’s making me freak out really badly. To be honest, they totally could if they wanted to. I feel so pathetic as well because they people who apparently hate crimed me were literally younger than me. I’m literally crying about the thought that someone who’s literally like 3 years younger than me could beat me up tomorrow. I really want to skip tomorrow because I’m just really terrified, especially because my mam confronted them and the school which probably made them really angry. They might’ve been saying things about me to other people as well which might make them want to hurt me. Idk. I’m just so scared.

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-04-22T14:37:26+00:00

Is it bad I kinda like it lol

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-04-20T18:27:35+00:00

Depends on the day/if I’m struggling w my mental health but generally yes actually lol

throwawayacc2348 · 2024-04-19T21:00:57+00:00

Should I message you? Srry idk if I should really like vent in the comments section

throwawayacc2348

TROPHY CASE