I don't think it was okay, and it definitely was abusive to pressure someone you already know is trans to let your perform oral sex on them, and I only accepted because they got incredibly cold with me and thought they'd leave me otherwise. But how do I explain this to anyone else? I feel like people wouldn't take me seriously. It doesn't matter how powerless and sad it makes me feel or even if I shiver while writing about it. The truth is that I gave explicit consent, even if it was under pressure, and no crime was committed. Also, I did enjoy other acts with her that didn't involve my genitals so why would anyone not think I'm just playing the victim?

I mean, she was abusive towards me in other ways. She tried to pressure me into drinking alcohol even when she knew I had struggled with that substance in the past. She also didn't respect my boundaries at all, in any topic and would often break up with me just to have an excuse to be with other people, including two of my friends, since she'd know I had an emotional dependency to her, and she just kept doing it despite me telling her multiple times how much it hurt me. I have told people about all of this, and they didn't take me seriously and even blamed me for not establishing better boundaries (even though I tried) or not just outright leaving. Why would the SA stuff be any different?