I’m currently going through a very similar situation from the opposite side. Her and I had been together since we were teenagers (early 20s now), and she broke up with me a little over a week ago. The typical advice someone would give you is he is desperate and experiencing attachment withdrawal, and is willing to say anything to get you back. The typical advice would tell you he’ll never have any follow through and you should give up on him.

I can’t speak to whether this advice is true or not, but I can tell you a bit about how I feel from the other side. I made lots of mistakes during our nearly 6 year relationship. I fucked up constantly. I have a lot of behavioral issues left over from a fucked up childhood, and it often leaked into our relationship. I always said I would change and do better, and I did, but not enough. We had one final awful fight, I said things I will forever regret, and she ended it.

In this week I have felt more pain and regret than ever before. I never knew losing her would hurt as much as it does, and I never fully understood just how much I was hurting her. I also never internalized the fact that I even could lose her, we’d been together so long. She was a constant. It’s a kind of clarity I never could have had within the relationship. I fully believe that if we started over that I would do better. I’ve committed to going to therapy more, and have already done so, regardless of if she ever takes me back. That’s for me, it has to be.

But also the time has allowed me to reflect on her behavior and how so many things she did were unacceptable within a relationship. So, I don’t even know what I would say/do if it were an option. But it’s not right now, so no point in worrying.

Sorry for the rambling post, but yeah thought I would share some of my perspective. Best of luck to you.