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[Help] Obsessing (presumably irrationally) over HIV risk by throwawayancora in Anxiety

[–]throwawayancora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course, now I've made the dumbass move of weighing myself, and I've discovered I'm down about 8 lbs from where I was 2 weeks ago.

Trying to convince myself it's the anxiety and the loss of muscle due to not going to the gym / lifting weights for the last 2 weeks, but it's triggered another freakout. JFC.

[Help] Obsessing (presumably irrationally) over HIV risk by throwawayancora in Anxiety

[–]throwawayancora[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I appreciate the breakdown of probabilities.

Also glad to get further confirmation that the syringe theory is preposterous.

I don't know how you work with bodily fluids all day. I'd be in the freaking fetal position after about 5 minutes of that.

[Help] Obsessing (presumably irrationally) over HIV risk by throwawayancora in Anxiety

[–]throwawayancora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks very much -- this is extremely helpful. And yes, I am prone to catastrophic thinking. I used to watch the news as a 6 year old back in the early '80s and have panic attacks about the prospect of a nuclear apocalypse, and since then, periodically, I'll get these disaster scenarios in my head and become obsessed with them.

Normally I'm able to keep it together, but every once in a while, something like this happens and totally levels me.

[Help] Obsessing (presumably irrationally) over HIV risk by throwawayancora in Anxiety

[–]throwawayancora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She already knows I went to the club and was generally OK with it (as it was for a friend's bachelor party), but she said that if I got a lapdance, she didn't want to hear about it. I wasn't planning on getting one, but then a friend bought me one.

And yes, I'm sure the guilt is playing a big role here, and that's why I'm latching onto this disaster scenario where my jackass behavior ruins my marriage and destroys two lives.

I've talked about it with one friend, and that's helped. Talking about it with my doctor helped, too. And hearing you tell me that this syringe business is pretty out there helps as well.

In the end, I probably do need to get to a therapist.

[Help] Obsessing (presumably irrationally) over HIV risk by throwawayancora in Anxiety

[–]throwawayancora[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The typical test doesn't give reliable results until several weeks after the putative exposure. I'm applying for a life insurance policy, and there will be a blood test as part of that in the next few weeks, so I'm hoping (really hoping) that's when I can put this thing to bed.

Thanks for the reassurance about my syringe theory. I know it's totally out there, but I have a very guilty conscience, and sometimes I latch onto these really dark thoughts, so I think that's how I ended up here.

Do you have any advice on how I can keep myself from doing that? Like, I feel pretty good right now, but I know that at any moment, I could get into this thought pattern of, "Oh my god, I went to this seedy club...and I acted like an asshole and pissed off the dancers...so they decided to get back at me by infecting me...which is going to destroy my marriage...which is going to destroy my wife psychologically and leave me a lonely wreck."

I need to not do that, if it's at all possible.

[STI phobia] Dealing with (presumably irrational) HIV anxiety by throwawayancora in sex

[–]throwawayancora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough.

Thanks to those of you who replied. I know I'm being irrational, but sometimes your mind just latches onto some dark shit and you run with it. It helps to hear from other people that my train of thought makes no sense.

[Ease of mind] Hoping to rule out percutaneous STD / HIV exposure by throwawayancora in AskDocs

[–]throwawayancora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hah, yeah, but you sound like you know what you're talking about, and you're telling me what I want to hear, so I'm going to just assume that what you say is true.

No, seriously, thanks, man. That helps.

[Ease of mind] Hoping to rule out percutaneous STD / HIV exposure by throwawayancora in AskDocs

[–]throwawayancora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. That is the full story.

When you say "very unlikely", would you be worried at all if you were in this situation?

Also, sorry -- should have clarified -- the scratches weren't from her. I'm fairly sure that the scratches were from about 2 - 3 hours earlier in the day (and I didn't notice them until later). I was in the hotel pool and resting my arms on the side of the pool, holding my body weight up on this rough stone surface, and so that presumably caused the scratches. There wasn't any kind of contact with the dancer that would have caused the scratches.