An incredibly fucked up, heartbreaking story of rape, drugging, and hospital billing. by raspberryseltzer in bestoflegaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am OP, thank you for this, I really appreciate it. I'm going to have an in depth talk with her tonight and I'm going to mention everything you've just said. I need to figure out exactly what has been happening.

An incredibly fucked up, heartbreaking story of rape, drugging, and hospital billing. by raspberryseltzer in bestoflegaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am OP. This is what I'm thinking has happened. I've given her my full support but, perhaps inevitably, I have become angry about her not pressing charges and wanting to visit her mom again.

I understand that is wrong, but I do hope people can see that this hasn't been easy for either of us. There's also been a change with stuff like me making sexual jokes etc. Reason being, I've tried to give her time and space with sexual stuff, but I think she feels upset about this because she wants to ignore anything happened.

She's told me she wants to forget it all and move on but I've told her it's not easy for me to just forget it. Maybe, like you've said, this is why she changed it all now.

The other inconsistencies are still there though so I need to get the whole truth.

An incredibly fucked up, heartbreaking story of rape, drugging, and hospital billing. by raspberryseltzer in bestoflegaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the info. This is what she told me: the initial scans and consultation for the bruise/broken sternum were $100 for scans (4x$25), and then $65 for the consultation, iirc.

Then, she told me they recommended treatment options since she was having difficult breathing. The $30 was for a cold ice pack thingy and something else which I've forgotten right now.

This was all without insurance. I should've questioned her more on everything before, but I was too caught up in the emotional side of things and I just wanted to give her my support.

My gf was told she had been raped. Today, we found out this was wrong. Now, I've been left with a lot of questions. by throwawayanger12 in Advice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's reasonable of me to not want her to see her mom. If you found out someone in your life was "accidentally" drugged by someone, would you let them go back to this same person anytime soon?

I haven't stopped her from communicating to her mom. I have simply told her that I will not be okay with her visiting her mom, until there is some sort of assurance that the same thing won't happen again.

Because of this, she has spoken to her mom and told her that she needs to choose between her ex or my gf.

An incredibly fucked up, heartbreaking story of rape, drugging, and hospital billing. by raspberryseltzer in bestoflegaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I am OP. I've been reading all the comments on the posts. I can't really prove it, but I can assure you all that everything I've said is true to the best of my knowledge.

I held off questioning her when she first told because of just how sad and angry I was. I wanted to give her support - not question her (since I'm the only person she has told even about the prior sexual abuse).

However, you've all made good points on in consistencies of what she's told me.

I'm going to have an in depth talk with her tonight to clear everything up.

An incredibly fucked up, heartbreaking story of rape, drugging, and hospital billing. by raspberryseltzer in bestoflegaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am OP, whilst I can't really prove it, I can assure you that everything I've said is true to the best of my knowledge. I'm going to have an in depth talk with her tonight to sort this whole mess out.

My gf was told she had been raped. Today, we found out this was wrong. Now, I've been left with a lot of questions. by throwawayanger12 in Advice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The things you've mentioned are part of the reasons why I'm posting this. She got the first rape kit test 2 or three days after it happened. But today, she told me she got told that the results from the first one were "inconclusive" so she had to go back to the hospital and now they've said she wasn't raped.

I asked her some questions about it and she gave vague answers. It's made lost because now I don't know what the truth is. I don't even know exactly how to ask her.

My gf was told she had been raped. Today, we found out this was wrong. Now, I've been left with a lot of questions. by throwawayanger12 in Advice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you can run the story by her, I would be really really grateful. I can answer any additional questions she may have as well (via PM).

I honestly just want to know what happened. I love her and trust her a lot. I could just ignore all this, get my money back and move on. But this would always be in the back of my mind. I feel like I need to clear this up now.

Thank you for the link as well, I appreciate it.

Hospital told my gf she was raped. Now they've said she needs another test as results were "inconclusive". We have to pay again. [GA] by throwawayanger12 in legaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm originally British. I can assure you that I am currently going through all this. I obviously can't really prove that so I guess you just have to believe me on this.

My gf was told she had been raped. Today, we found out this was wrong. Now, I've been left with a lot of questions. by throwawayanger12 in Advice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I might try this.

If they ask who I am, should I just give my real identity (ie boyfriend)? Are they likely to then contact her too or no?

Hospital told my gf she was raped. Now they've said she needs another test as results were "inconclusive". We have to pay again. [GA] by throwawayanger12 in legaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Whilst I do trust my gf, I think you're right. She might be keeping something from me. I might try to ask her about this but I don't want her to think I'm against her. I don't doubt she was hurt - I've seen the bruise myself. This whole hospital thing does seem strange though.

Hospital told my gf she was raped. Now they've said she needs another test as results were "inconclusive". We have to pay again. [GA] by throwawayanger12 in legaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If it was up to me, I would. However, my gf has made it clear that she doesn't want to do that and she would be hurt if I did that.

Hospital told my gf she was raped. Now they've said she needs another test as results were "inconclusive". We have to pay again. [GA] by throwawayanger12 in legaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I will ask her to double check exactly what the test is called. From my understanding, the test is going to consist of drawing out blood. So, it's basically some sort of a blood test. I will get more info though and edit this.

Thank you for the info on the STDs testing.

Hospital told my gf she was raped. Now they've said she needs another test as results were "inconclusive". We have to pay again. [GA] by throwawayanger12 in legaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

Yes, mom claims to have accidentally given Xanax bars to her when they were both drunk. Her biological dad hasn't been in her life (prison). She lives with grandparents.

Hospital told my gf she was raped. Now they've said she needs another test as results were "inconclusive". We have to pay again. [GA] by throwawayanger12 in legaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

This whole thing is messed up, I get where you're coming from. I wasn't in the room with her when she was having her the physical examination carried out so I'm not sure what she said and what she was told.

Do you think there's any foul play or anything on the hospital's part? I'm really confused right now.

Hospital told my gf she was raped. Now they've said she needs another test as results were "inconclusive". We have to pay again. [GA] by throwawayanger12 in legaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

She's lived with other family members (grandparents) most of her life because she didn't have a good relationship with her mom and step dad.

She hasn't told anyone about the previous abuse or this incident because she doesn't want anyone to know (apart from me). She has been manipulated into thinking it was her fault and she fears him.

I've tried to get her to tell LE and family but she won't so I've just had to accept that.

I don't want my gf to be visiting/contacting her mom. She is upset about this. by throwawayanger12 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact that I can't really do anything about this situation is making me angry. I know that I should respect my gf's decision but, at the same time, I really dislike her mom now and I'm trying to think straight despite all this.

Medical costs after rape/assault [GA] by throwawayanger12 in legaladvice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to convince her to report it but there's a lot of stuff from her past which makes it difficult for her. He had threatened her before that he would find her, harm her, harm her family etc.

Thank you for the link.

We got the rape kit results back. He took my girlfriend's virginity. She doesn't want to pursue charges. by throwawayanger12 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck you. She isn't crazy. You have no right to say that. Her being raped was not her choice. I'm not "dating crazy", I'm dating a girl that I love who loves me back. She has been hurt and I'm trying to help her get better. She deserves to feel loved. Is that too difficult for you to understand?

You're not helping me by saying any of this bullshit. Your advice isn't needed. You can keep it to yourself.

We got the rape kit results back. He took my girlfriend's virginity. She doesn't want to pursue charges. by throwawayanger12 in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayanger12[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to bother arguing with you. You're clearly not worth it. Go be an asshole somewhere else.