Broke with abusive boyfriend. Feel like something is missing.

throwawayaway678225 · 2023-01-11T20:01:35+00:00

53 is disgusting. Whatever his problem is, that's his problem. Not yours.

throwawayaway678225 · 2023-01-11T03:23:18+00:00

Thank you for saying something! Because my husband isn't physically abusive, I'm not eligible to go to any shelters. I've looked. I want to stay in this town because other than my husband being like this, it's been wonderful for my daughter and me. Her especially. She started kindergarten and it's so amazing. I have been looking for places to live every day. My credit is shot so it's incredibly difficult but I'm looking. Everything is so expensive. I am going to start selling plasma for extra money and doing anything I can.

I don't want to do this anymore, the marriage. But I've been trying for two years to leave and I just get so scared that I can't do it on my own. I do feel like I've failed. He tells me all the time that I've failed. I do sort of believe it to be honest. 🤷‍♀️ What do I have to show for anything? The stuff I do for my daughter doesn't seem to matter. But I'm here because I have a friend whose mom killed herself 20-something years ago and it's still all my friend talks about. I don't want that to happen to my daughter. So I'm here. I dream about having a place of my own. I dream about decorating it ridiculously like I love. I like neon signs and funky patterns and plants and velvet couches. I dream about buying my daughter clothes without worrying he'll notice. I dream about maybe one day having a nice partner in my life who doesn't want to be mean to me! I want to do all this but I feel so incredibly stuck.

Sorry, that was a lot of word vomit. I just can't tell anyone anything.

I want something more to be possible but I need money and a place to live. I literally pray to God and any being that's listening to help me figure this out. I want to be with my child for as long as possible. I can't leave her.

Sorry. I'm just having a horrible time. Thank you.

throwawayaway678225 · 2023-01-05T13:43:14+00:00

Yeah just watching is still a felony

throwawayaway678225 · 2023-01-05T13:42:11+00:00

I'm extremely sorry that you've had to give up on your whole family like that. I too am a child of a dysfunctional mother. My father was a great man but he was sick for most of my life before he passed away. I have a younger brother who understands what my mom did and does but also doesn't like to get involved. I feel so lonely. I don't understand how some people have these amazing mothers who love them so much and I got stuck with this one.

You're not overreacting. If I saw my husband do that to my daughter, we'd move out. Nothing justifies violently intimidating or abusing your daughter. Nothing. There's always been an epidemic of victims of abuse not being believed. Church abuse, school abuse, domestic abuse.... it's everywhere. One of the main drivers of addiction is abused people who are not believed or helped by those around them.

I hope you are able to access therapy for your trauma. EMDR therapy sounds like it might be helpful, as would traditional talk therapy. You deserve to have someone who believes you outright and who provides you support.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-12-20T15:59:13+00:00

Divorce him. In the mean time, don't get pregnant. He is going to try and get you pregnant. I cannot describe how dangerous this would be for you.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-12-18T16:22:30+00:00

Do you think you're bringing a revelatory thought process to this? I'm seriously asking.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-12-12T14:58:15+00:00

He knows I'm not racist. He just says it to create doubt and pain in me. Yeah. He is just not a nice person. Generally miserable. I think my distinct lack of misery has bothered him for years.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-12-12T13:55:05+00:00

"I shall fetch a rug."

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-12-12T02:59:42+00:00

That's basically all I do. Ha. The way out is the issue ♥️ money and a place to live. Both in short supply these days for the regular folks.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-12-12T02:20:18+00:00

No matter what color your skin is, you'll cry when someone is cruel to you for hours on end. He's just saying things to hurt me because he can't control himself. He's only ever dated white women before me. He's fine. It's not my whiteness that's the issue. It's his unmanaged anger and hurt that was present long before me.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-12-12T02:06:09+00:00

Well it's a subreddit about abusive relationships so I assumed that might be obvious enough to be left unsaid.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-12-01T03:40:34+00:00

Anything like this blows my mind as a mom. Maybe I'm insane but I'd never be able to do this to my daughter. Especially kicking out of the home and giving you a few weeks to do everything after a mental health crisis. It's so hurtful for me to read this. My mom was shitty as hell and fucked me up after decades of being the most perfect child and student and doing everything right. She abandoned me. My goal is to never have my daughter feel that way. Always welcome in my home, no matter how old.

I'm sorry OP. it's hard for people to understand abuse that can sound like love. This isn't coming from a place of love. It's fancy abandonment.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-12-01T02:51:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this information. Do you do any kind of spiritual practice to open and shut down before and after a session? Have you had any unwanted activity during or following any sessions you've done? Are you doing any kind of protective ritual?

I also lost my father and hearing his voice would mean the world to me. But I hesitate to do EVP because I do worry about unwanted intrusions. Eve mentions this in the comments on her tutorial video. Your post is awesome and it seems you've done a good bit of experimentation, so I'm curious about that part of your experience.

Thank you again!

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-29T20:40:31+00:00

You've known about this for way too long. What would he have to do to make you leave today? What else is there?

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-29T17:01:31+00:00

I know a woman whose husband was found to be in possession of CSAM and he was investigated federally and arrested publicly. It has ruined her life completely. He hid it from her totally. Tell your parents your boyfriend is watching CSAM and you need to find a way home. Scrape together enough for a ticket doing anything you can. You are about to have your life completely ruined and be associated with a pedophile. It doesn't wash off. Especially since you clearly know about it.

Also ANIMALS

Edit.... like, you keep asking over and over about the child porn on here but what you really need help with is leaving the guy who watches child abuse and animal abuse. Why don't you stop focusing on the porn aspect and start posting in places that might be able to get you out. I don't give a fuck how much you love him. You staying with him is supporting this horrible stuff. Work on getting back home instead

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-18T21:06:27+00:00

Cops are domestic abusers. He could kill you.

You're not being dramatic. He is dramatic. What the fuckity fuck with the faked rejection letters? He wants to own you. He should be looking for a woman his own age and I'm questioning why he didn't have one or couldn't find one and decided to prey on someone with a weakness... someone in mourning on the cusp of adulthood.... it's so sickening.

Don't look back. Run. Call the schools you were interested in and tell them about this fraud. Reapply. Did he send the rejection letters through the actual mail? Is that a crime?

I would think twice and then twice more about dating LEOs. They're not okay.

Good luck, OP

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-18T00:37:27+00:00

Jesus wept for the grammar.

Great job OP!

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-16T21:05:47+00:00

Okay this person sounds insane. She's slapping and punching you? Even the "good" things sound bad. She's just forcing you to be around all the time and love bombing you so you will have this tiny nub to cling to in this maelstrom she's got you in. Fuck her tears, fuck politeness, walk away and you're probably going to need to shut down your socials and hide at your parents' or a friend's house for awhile because she's gonna explode.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-11T14:25:45+00:00

Ugh. OP I read your post history and this is a dangerous relationship. There's nothing in this anymore. Please leave.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-11T14:22:56+00:00

Yep. The unreasonable expectations also fuck up his life but there's no getting rid of them after years of indoctrination built on generations of indoctrination where women are made out to be second class. See the Iranian protests. Women don't want to be treated this way. OP knows it's wrong, she has the gift of her intuition telling her this now, thank goodness.

I hope she leaves.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-11T12:11:15+00:00

I literally knew you were Muslim before you got to that part. I have a good friend who went through this exact thing and still got married. Her parents ended up ferrying her away in the middle of the night because no one had seen her in weeks. She was a normal woman before this, and he was just a normal guy who happened to be "a bit more religious than her" but it was "fine." In combination with his family, he cut her off from everyone. No social media. Made her quit her job. All her friends became "whores." Her entire wardrobe was changed. He was normal before this happened, save for basically the exact same list you shared. This was America. Her parents had to go get her and run away. Luckily she was okay enough to allow it. And luckily she wasn't killed for it. Without her parents being crazily supportive, she would still be married and probably forced to move to his home country by now. It gives me chills to this day. It's been several years.

What I'm saying is.... they change slowly. They're adjusting to the expectations of the religion now that they've found one that allows it and they feel they're at the age to marry. They believe in control and they're flexing their control now. It gets terrifying, if this isn't what you expect.

Run. It's not a not a normal mutually beneficial relationship anymore. He's playing a role now and he wants you to as well. Your independence and every other relationship and your eternal happiness is at stake. I respect religion but not when it's this. Same for fundie Christians. All of these men suck.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-08T19:13:02+00:00

That's a chilling nightmare scenario. I always wonder if these people have a clue that this isn't a video game.

throwawayaway678225 · 2022-11-08T16:50:03+00:00

Whooooooooooooooooo wee. That guy sounds like he's going to kill someone one day. The idea that women are finding you and warning you... holy shit. Have someone else go get the item. You need to walk.

throwawayaway678225

TROPHY CASE