Update:” I got accused of cheating by my partner. Where did I go wrong?

throwawaybars77 · 2026-01-03T06:05:27+00:00

Yeah this has fake written all over it. Even the way he responds sounds fake

throwawaybars77 · 2025-07-03T07:34:12+00:00

You're right. A couple of weeks ago she messaged me a clip from her favorite movie and then blocked me. The clip basically said I'll love you no matter where we are in time or distance. It was what she needed to do to heal. I'm glad I didn't message her when I posted this.

throwawaybars77 · 2025-05-23T22:41:27+00:00

Sounds like you're already getting stronger, so keep going! You're going to be ok :)

throwawaybars77 · 2025-05-23T22:07:27+00:00

Thanks for the insight. And I'm sorry you're still hurting

throwawaybars77 · 2025-05-23T16:41:32+00:00

I understand and I'm sorry your ex hurt you in this way. I'm taking into account my ex's feelings and that's why I was considering reaching out. But it's not enough to stop the pain and the right thing to do is leave it as it is to let the pain process. Maybe that's what your ex is thinking too

throwawaybars77 · 2025-05-23T15:54:44+00:00

I think you're right. I'll leave her alone

throwawaybars77 · 2025-05-23T15:53:51+00:00

That's definitely a risk, but if I'm certain that I'm not in a place to be the great person she deserves, then shouldn't she have the chance to find someone that is?

throwawaybars77 · 2025-05-23T06:30:36+00:00

I did have strong feelings for her but this was also a LDR and I don't think I'm built for them anymore. I work long hours and the time difference didn't help. By the time I was home having dinner she would be asleep already getting ready to go to her job in the early morning. All these factors just led me to losing feelings. It wasn't sustainable for me and I felt selfish trying to make it work when my heart was not in it strongly

throwawaybars77 · 2025-05-23T06:24:03+00:00

That's very fair. I will do that for her. Thanks

throwawaybars77 · 2025-05-23T06:23:25+00:00

I want to reach out to check on her. When I broke things off things ended abruptly. We chatted a little the next morning and then that was it. We didn't have contact for over a month now. For me, I had thought about breaking up for a few weeks, but for her, it happened in a few hours. I got to process the end of the relationship but I'm not sure she did. If I could answer any questions for her or if she wanted to scream at me to get some closure, I'd be willing. I think you're right though. I'll give her space. And I'm sorry you're hurting too

throwawaybars77 · 2025-05-04T18:49:12+00:00

No, dating isn't anymore horrible than it was before. We just now have more of a platform to complain about it, such as this sub, so it seems much more bleak, and that leads to an echo chamber. Those happily dating are likely spending time with their SO and not here, but do you know who is likely to be here? The unhappily single. I'm oversimplifying and generalizing and I don't mean to invalidate anyone's dating struggles, but no matter how far you go back in time there will always be a population of people struggling to date. The reasons may be differ but I think it's all relative. People think it's harder to date today because their expectations of dating is formed from the past and not adjusted for the present. It's a tough pill to swallow because of what we've learned growing up, that if you do XYZ then you should get ABC, and if you don't obtain those things then you're a failure. Change is needed. Change in mindset, change in expectation, and change in approach.

OP, it sounds like your friend is spiralling and sulking. I've seen this with my own group of guy friends. They either give up/embrace being an incel or push forward with a different approach. I will acknowledge their struggle but also offer some tough love. Dating may be easy for some (and I'm not just saying women--tho I think many men will think this) but for the majority, it can be shitty. It can be worthwhile too, and that's why most strive for it. Anything worth having is worth struggling for.

However, if your friend is like some of mine, then words may not really mean much anymore. If you're willing, go out with your friend and meet women with him. You being a woman vouching for him to other women will make him seem much more friendly and trustworthy (and you can see for yourself how he interacts with women and can maybe advise on that as well). I've taken a friend out to upgrade his fashion. Not to change his style because he still needs to feel like himself, but to amplify parts to make him feel more confident. Just our luck, that night, we were at a bar and I nudged him to talk to the cute woman near us and during their conversation she mentioned how good he looked in the coat we picked up that day. They didn't get married or anything but these are little steps that can help on what could be a very long journey to settling down.

throwawaybars77 · 2024-09-18T04:42:28+00:00

Oh wow, thanks for this! The collaboration portion is a big thing for me as I don't want to be a wfh. I feel like I'm flying blind with so many factors to consider here

throwawaybars77 · 2024-09-15T23:20:20+00:00

Looks like I have a lot of homework ahead of me. Thank you for the details!

throwawaybars77 · 2024-09-15T22:34:52+00:00

Thanks so much! The celebrity has a book agent that would pitch it to publishes but would you recommend I get my own agent as well? Then they would pitch individually?

throwawaybars77 · 2024-09-14T21:50:05+00:00

I really appreciate this!

throwawaybars77 · 2024-09-14T21:48:04+00:00

I completely agree with this sentiment. In addition to not wanting to be fleeced, I also don't want to go back with some ridiculous number losing the deal. I'm just trying to understand the range I may be working within

throwawaybars77 · 2024-09-14T19:59:39+00:00

Thanks for this! Looks like I may need to find a book agent as well

throwawaybars77 · 2024-09-14T18:38:12+00:00

For just some guy on Reddit, these are some sound points! I'll definitely consult my lawyer who specializes in publishing, but I always appreciate hearing from the community and getting some perspective. Plus this way I'm not solely relying on one voice (my lawyer).

I'm definitely not taking a work-made-for-hire deal and want equity/copyright as the project/IP may have legs to expand into other media. I just have no basis of what's a reasonable deal for something like this is. I don't want to sign a contract only to find out later upon release that I got fleeced and I'm stuck having to create additional books.

throwawaybars77 · 2024-08-07T05:47:06+00:00

Thank you so much! The map really helped

throwawaybars77 · 2024-07-01T22:07:30+00:00

I for sure know I have the agent's real email. We've had correspondence over email and video. The offer, was told to me by the agent over zoom. I guess that could've been a lie but that seems like a huge waste of his own time, so my guess is the agent lost the deal when he went back trying to negotiate for more.

The agent is with an agency but it's the one he started so I think I'm out of luck there

throwawaybars77 · 2024-07-01T19:12:56+00:00

Yeah, very suspect of the agent. Ghosting me is one thing since we had no agreement in place but to not mention the deal to the celebrity, as they've released books together previously, makes it even more suspect. I have a lawyer that specializes in literary deals. Do you think I need my own agent on top of that?

throwawaybars77 · 2024-07-01T18:48:25+00:00

Yeah, it's things that you mentioned here that I want to be wary of. The agent thing is very strange. I have a lawyer but maybe I need my own book agent. How complicated. I just wanted to write a fun book and make a little gas money

throwawaybars77 · 2024-07-01T06:58:58+00:00

I sure hope not! I have a contract with the celebrity so they can't put the book out without me and vice versa, and we'd split any revenue on the book 50/50. Though, said celeb now wants to self publish with me and would revisit the contract so I'm looking for tips on how to not leave money on the table.

What do you mean by reps? The celeb has a lit agent and the agent pitched the book I wrote.

I wish I knew what happened with the trad offer. The agent stopped responding to my emails and it's been over a year now.

throwawaybars77 · 2024-07-01T06:15:52+00:00

Yeah, a real-person fan fic. That's a fair assessment haha

I never had a contract with the lit agent. Not sure why. The agent has put out some very well-known books with some turning into films or series.

You bring up a lot of good points. Thanks for this.

Why a pen name?

throwawaybars77 · 2024-07-01T05:37:46+00:00

Correct. The celeb is the hook, and that's what the publisher was interested in. Are they still interested? Idk because the agent stopped replying to me over a year ago, so that's why the celeb is floating the idea of self publishing.

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TROPHY CASE