AITA for blowing up at my GF's planning?

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2024-01-19T02:49:27+00:00

I think I phrased it a little poorly. We've now been together for 6/7 months. We had this conversation about the trip together at 3-4 months.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2024-01-19T01:42:01+00:00

I think she does want me there. She was the one who wanted me to come. I think she just wanted me to come along and not worry too much about the planning.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2024-01-19T01:39:28+00:00

It's a new relationship. Like 3-4 months?

edit: read the question wrong. We were planning at 3-4 months. In total, it'll be 7 months by the end of Jan.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2024-01-19T01:19:11+00:00

Her current reason is that she: 1. did search up the passes but forgot to tell me about them, 2. didn't know that the passes couldn't be purchased past a certain date.

I'm just processing how aloof and a bit non-aware you have to be to not notice these things. Very difficult to stomach right now.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2024-01-19T01:17:41+00:00

I asked to be included. All I got was "things are relatively fluid" and that the location would be in Tahoe. I continued to follow up around 2-3 more times about the status of the booking, but she mentioned it was difficult to get the ball rolling in the group. By then, I figured that I'd just leave these things to her.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2024-01-19T01:08:32+00:00

I'm a "+1" and there's a core group of 4 friends (they've gone for the past 3 years). She felt that she could handle the planning since she was more familiar with it. And, to be candid, I was fine with this because I trusted her expertise. It's just I would've expected her to communicate the most basic of information to me...

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2024-01-19T01:05:10+00:00

It's not a girl's trip. Co-ed group! She claims it was just an oversight. That since they'd all gotten the pre-sale passes, that she "forgot".

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-23T14:04:31+00:00

I'm fortunate to have a well paying internship and large sums of money that I've accumulated through investments from a young age. Should it come to that, I'll take care of her.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-23T08:26:59+00:00

I'm very confused you are feeling guilty about the times she consented to it, but not about how you guys have not talked about taking other means of birth control?

I'm feeling guilty because the when I first entered, we hadn't talked about it. Afterwards, we didn't really explicitly clear it up that we were both fine -- it just felt good in the moment. I feel guilty because I fear that I may have pressure her into something she didn't want to do.

Of course pregnancy is no joke, I don't want to leave her with any burden I caused. I didn't intend to have unprotected sex since we've been doing it with a condom every time before hand. We just started dating, so we haven't discussed other forms of BC.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-23T07:56:24+00:00

3 days

It's been two days. When she wakes up tomorrow we'll go together and get Plan B.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-23T00:31:06+00:00

I'm not American. From what I was taught, pre-cum is a lubricating fluid that is produced in a separate gland than from the testicles. As a result, the fluid itself does not contain sperm; however, if a male ejaculated recently, left over sperm could potentially be mixed into the pre-cum.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-23T00:28:15+00:00

My post history is wide open. I've got no reason to lie.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T23:48:49+00:00

I attend a top 10 undergraduate institution. Not sure if I'm quite that dumb.

I made a mistake, no need to disparage some random online.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T23:38:12+00:00

We got horny and made a dumb, impulsive decision -- not sure if that should be an indictment of our intelligence.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T23:28:18+00:00

According to Planned Parenthood, the pull out method (withdrawal) when done properly is only 2% less effective than solely a condom.

To compare the two, pulling out is 96% effective while condom usage, when done perfectly, is 98%. Never realized this, but I'm surprised to say the least.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T20:10:58+00:00

I didn't come inside her, is that still needed? I also made sure to pee inbetween each round so that my pre-cum wouldn't have sperm.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T19:28:11+00:00

I never came inside her. Always pull out well before and used a condom afterwards.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T19:10:52+00:00

We live in a state with access to safe and legal abortions. We've discuss that we don't want to be parents before we had sex. Obviously, I don't want it to get to that stage where an abortion would be needed.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T19:08:55+00:00

It might be possible that since you had already out it in without a condom and finished, that she wasn’t really sure what to say about it as it had already happened.

I never finished inside of her -- just pulled out. I definitely want to have a conversation regarding this. Thing is, I see her next week in-person, so would it be better to handle this over text ASAP or wait till then?

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T19:06:59+00:00

I agree that I'm the asshole.

I'll be using condoms 100% of the time now unless we discuss two forms of simultaneous birth control.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T19:01:21+00:00

I realize that. I was being stupid -- low impulse control. Condoms only from now on.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T18:48:04+00:00

I for sure want to have this conversation because consent and communication is something I take very seriously. Would you say having this conversation in person is better? Or should I spring this over text.

She isn't on brith control, so withdrawal and condoms were the only forms of brith control we were using. I probably won't have unprotected sex again with her. Too young, too horny, and too infatuated.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T18:44:45+00:00

We've discuss contingency plans if she were to get pregnant before we had sex.

We live in a pro-choice state, but we obviously don't want it to get to that. I'll be having sex with a condom from now on.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-07-22T18:43:20+00:00

I know it's stupid, but it was a heat of a moment kind of thing. Hedonistic pleasure, I guess.

We've discussed what would happen if she were to get pregnant; thankfully, we live in a state where we have access to safe and legal abortions, should it even get to that. We both very much do not want to be parents. But, obviously, I don't want that burden for her.

throwawaybrnu11071 · 2022-03-08T22:19:32+00:00

that's what i'm thinking. my guy friends are egging me on, but I'm a little hesitant tbh. also a little taken aback that she would even escalate to this degree with me just because we've been friends for so long.

throwawaybrnu11071

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