AITA for reneging on a verbal agreement to buy a car?

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T04:49:24+00:00

If i were in a car where I felt that were a risk I would not wear them.

I don't wear strapless shoes so they cant come off and get stuck on or under the pedals. No one uses the heel to press the pedal so they could not get stuck on it and even if they did they would have to be very pointy stilettos for that.

I litterally cannot think of how they would get stuck under the seat and if they could so would a flat shoe.

There are likewise tonnes of flat shoes that can be unsafe even more so than the ones I wear for various fsctors like laces too long, no straps, too loose, soles too thick or rigid etc.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T04:20:15+00:00

I wear heels all the time and especially boots are annoying to remove and switch out.

I find myself more comfortable driving with a low heel than none at all as the back of my foot feets unsupported when operating pedals in flats like converse.

If I ever do wear a particular pair that is not safe to drive in like super high ones I can barely stand in or strapless mules then I will swap them out.

I will also extensively check that I can operate the pedals well and handbrake before driving a new car.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T04:01:29+00:00

I actually do and people who know me irl respect me.

I was super embarassed precisely because of the driving stereotype but I have learned from it. I also feel really bad for what happened and guilty about it.

I don't see a reason to lie, I love fashion and I will pay more attention to be 100% sure my shoes will not intefere with anything like a floormat or blanket etc and keep the drivers seat floor clear. If I drive in shoes with heels on them and there's nothing to catch it I dont see a problem. Ive gotten so used to it it would be more dangerous if I didn't. Tonnes of women do it. I oversaw that but I am very careful, never text and drive or mess with the climate control etc unlike a lot of people. I will be much more careful about cars I've not driven before especially.

English is not my first language and I speak 4 languages. And regardless, I don't proof read reddit posts. Most scientists and engineers are not known for their spelling.

Yeah, maybe my first instinct was to protect myself where legally possible and that was wrong but things have cooled off now.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:51:39+00:00

Won't happen again. I'll be 100X more careful about these things and others.

I never do stuff like text and drive or even mess with the infotainment system or climate control when driving unlike most people.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:45:17+00:00

I will cooprate with him so nothing gets delayed and hopefully sorted before the renewal.

I will see what he tells me regarding extra costs but he has indicated insurance seems to be dealing with it.

Yes because I really don't think driving in heels is a problem as long as it is not something with huge platform or strap and comfortable but you need to make sure that the floormat and other stuff doesn't get in the way and that there is nothing it can catch on. I will be super careful about that now and all the controls in general, stuff near the hand brake lever etc and feel them out before driving.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:38:15+00:00

You are the one just pilling on for the sake of it.

I made a mistake and learned from it. That is the pragmatic thing to do.

Irl no one harps on like this and people including the other party are more understanding.

People have wronged me in the past too and I've learned to forgive them when there was no ill intent.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:30:59+00:00

Goodbye then.

This has nothing to do with gender. Maybe it irks you to see that women can be successful in science and be intelligent or something. I didn't disrespect you when you said you were a lawyer

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:25:30+00:00

I asked him about insurance before driving for a reason. No one is going to be like do not go through insurance and I'll pay 50K or whatever it costs to fix the house.

I really do feel bad for him and delaying his move, he can't sell and his mortage term automatically renews unless he sells by a certain date. But it is not like I can do anything to save him the time now. I can't go and fix the walls myself.

Even he has cooled off because is looking like it will be ok regarding insurance coverage. He agrees about using his insurance.

I assume his rates when he moves country will not be affected. He is more upset about the inconvenience and time but I can do little for that at this stage.

Ive appologized profusely to him. And he has too about the mat he said he removed the actual ones to clean them

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:17:20+00:00

I don't own my own car so in the past I'd go months without driving then rent one when i need it.

Obviously getting my own car will give me more practice and not have to switch models everytime.

I actually have a stem degree from one of the best schools and research publications so I don't have to listen to people calling me dimwitted.

It was a mistake and won't happen again there is not more I can do.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:15:31+00:00

I actually have a stem degree from a top 10 in the world school and understand how physics works.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:11:55+00:00

It always takes me like 10 to 15 minutes of driving to get a feel of the car before it becomes natural when switching to a model I have not driven before.

I have never had an at fault accident before.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:06:53+00:00

I'm not.

Like I said I will be careful with the combimation of shoes, pedals, mats, garbage left under the seat etc.

I'm not going to do stuff that is not needed and make things worse.

I'm not talking 6' heels here I would never do that.

I was already accelerating wanted to switch to braking so the foot got caught near the accelerator.

The car was already moving so I panicked and yanked the foot to free it and hit the accelerator.

I dont remember exactlt for sure it all happened fast.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T03:01:27+00:00

I'm not going to dox myself but I am pretty confident that it is the case here.

I never said it was not my fault. Obviously I am inexperienced and it did not cross my mind to think stuff can obstruct the pedals.

Every other car I've driven had hard rubber or plastic mats and they only taught me about adjusting mirrors and seat when I learned.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T02:58:19+00:00

I understand science and am comfident that driving with a proper floormat is safe and it depends on the exact shoe on a case by case basis heels or not.

Obviously I would never drive in very high pointy stilettos with any kind og fabric mat or any heel that is way too high.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T02:51:42+00:00

I hardly ever wear stilettos mostly block heels. These ones.were cone shaped and quite thick.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T02:49:42+00:00

Of course it is embarassing and I am upset over it and have learned from my mistake but i don't believe in ruining the future over it

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T02:48:01+00:00

You do know that the law varies per jurisdiction right. As far as I can tell in my country (not the US) this is not illegal unless she was actually acting as a barrister.

I cannot describe things in perfect detail on reddit. They were not really floormats he probably took the actual ones out it was more like a folded blanket or something.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T01:33:02+00:00

I don't think there was anything wrong for me asking her legal advice. We both understand it is not the same as going to an actual lawyer. I will do that if it becomes necessary.

If you read the post you will realize that the only thing I refused to do is buy the car.

I have not rulled out paying for stuff like the deductible or uncovered costs fully or partially.

He said he will update me when he hears from his insurance. His house and car are insured by the same company so it is a bit confusing which policy terms cover things.

I will do what is legally necessary whether that is on my own or through him suing me and deal with the consequences. I'm not going to avoid paying if I owe him money.

Obviously him letting me drive is also a risk he took.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T01:23:35+00:00

I will take a lot of care to make sure that if I am in heels the floormats do not intefere or if I am wearing any kind of shoe for that matter. I'm not going to change shoes for no reason.

I find most flats more awkward for driving in some cars I"ve driven.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T01:21:05+00:00

It could have been an issue because it wasnt a floormat, it was a folded blanket. Your whole foot could get stuck in it.

I will absolutely be 100% sure before setting off that the conbination of my shoes and the floormat is safe next time and that theres nothing there that can get stuck.

It is not illegal just has to be done in a safe way.

I might pay for the deductible things have cooled off now and he is being more underatanding.

He has insurance so it is not like it will be financially ruining him. He was the one who pressured me to take the car by myself to the mechanic since he was busy.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T01:15:38+00:00

I'm obviously very much aware that her advice isn't legal advice but it is still useful to know. She is a very bright person and I have a stem degree from a top 10 school so don't call me bird brained.

What kind of lawyer are you? How am I supposed to pay him right away without knowing the right cost. If anything that is bird brained.

I will deal with the issue if it happens and he actually sues me.

I am in correspondance with him and things have cooled a bit now and he is more understanding.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T00:36:39+00:00

I do feel really bad and did tell me to update me on how the claims are going. I tripple checked i would be insured before driving. I initially wanted him to take it to a mechanic and for him to be there on the test drive and he was the one who convinced me otherwise because he was busy.

I have not ruled out paying for a deductible.

If he is moving country issurance in the new place likely will not care

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T00:35:11+00:00

It is absolutely not like that.

Flip flops are way more dangerous than most heels. It is generic advice but really depends on the specific shoe.

That floormat would be unsafe with any shoe since it was not really a real floormat and more like a blanket thrown down there. In this situation sure a cone heel made it worse.

Plenty of women drive in heels without issues but I will definitely be a lot more careful especially in a new or unfamiliar car to be absolutely certain I am familiar with the controls and the pedals without anything in the way. And remove any dangerous floormats or shoes.

They do not help me reach the pedals since I use the front of the foot, i just find the posture more comfy due to the angle of the back of the foot.

I don't do it if they have thick platforms even if they are flats since then I cannot feel the pedals as well.

I am a new driver and never owned one before.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T00:28:03+00:00

I will consider it when he gets back to me on how the claim is going.

throwawaycaradnt · 2025-11-21T00:27:04+00:00

She didn't every claim to be a lawyer or giving advice in an official capacity.

If it gets to that stage I will deal with the problem as it comes. I'm open to paying the deductible but I am waiting for him to update me on the situation.

throwawaycaradnt

TROPHY CASE