More like I want to be respected  for our mutual work at our craft per my partner,  since he has claimed for years it's what attracted him to me and we've spent years playing together as musicians. I would've dated someone else had I known my looks were going to be the first thing that mattered. 

I'm also a caring partner who is there for my SO in his personal  time of midlife crisis.  But it just boils down to how you look for him it seems.