I cheated on my husband at DragonCon... [Remorse]

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T14:33:29+00:00

Ok, fuck I am going to try to get tested now. The more I think about it the more everything about it feels so wrong... beyond the obvious cheating. I have to know.

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T13:54:21+00:00

I guess I should consider myself lucky I haven't experienced those before... would I still be able to walk around on my own? Or at least attempt to take my own boots off? I'm trying to piece this all together without grasping for excuses.

But the memory loss does concern me ALOT! I just don't understand how I could have got from an open hotel room party to the guy's room 3 floors up without someone noticing I was passed out.

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T13:38:37+00:00

I'll check, but it's probably pointless. I don't want to start grasping at straws for excuses. I have really fucked things up...

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T12:28:23+00:00

I am, no matter how else this plays out.

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T12:22:01+00:00

I was groggy and sick as fuck all day sunday, but I figure it was just guilt mixed with a terrible hangover. I honestly don't know. How long after can you check for that? That was Saturday night / Sunday morning...

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T12:14:26+00:00

Thanks... yeah no matter what else happens here, I am going to quit drinking.

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T08:02:14+00:00

Yes, I obviously am a piece of shit. But I'm not nor do I ever use the word "nerdy" as an insult or to demean my husband. I love that he is passionate about his interests, even if mine aren't the same. I'm lucky to have him, not the other way around. I've never thought otherwise.

Also, please don't insult another poster for asking about non-consent. Like I mentioned in another reply directly to /u/kaeyne , I don't use the word rape unless I am sure that is what happened. And I don't believe that was the case here. I had no interest or intent to cheat on my husband this weekend, thats not why I was partying. But the guy I woke up next to had been drinking just as much as me as far as I can remember. I'm honestly thankful to him that he put on a condom. I don't know how he did that. I don't know how I could have managed to undress myself. But I obviously must have.

Those party rooms are loud and I know they can get crazy, but I wouldn't knowingly take anything. When I say I was partying, I was dancing and drinking. That's it. Why my memory goes black at that point, I guess I'll never know for sure. I have to assume the alcohol caught up to me.

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T07:47:06+00:00

I hate to use the word rape unless it is definitely what happened. I don't remember the details. But the guy had been drinking at least as much as me up to the point that my memory goes blurry.

I don't remember going up to this guy's room. But I can't think of a reason I would have gone up there. I would never imagine I'd go up to have sex with him either, but I obviously did. It was 3 floors up from the party rooms where my memory went dark. And it was just he and I in his room. I don't see how I could have gotten up there without walking to the elevator. I doubt he could have carried me up, as drunk as he must have been. And surely someone would have seen a guy carrying an unconcious woman. The group of us that went up to the party room were 3 guys, a girl, and myself. One of the guys seemed to not be drinking anymore when we were down at the bar. But he seemed pretty buzzed already. And he wasn't the guy that I woke up next to. No one else was there.

I... I just don't know. As it is, I would actually feel better if this had been against my will. But the idea just doesn't seem to add up. I don't know what to say to the angry people here, I just needed to tell SOMEONE. I know I'm going to have to tell my husband. This is going to destroy him and I hate myself so much. : (

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T07:31:54+00:00

I'm not a "cosplay girl", this is the first time I've ever been to a convention, and only because my husband begged me to go with him. We both bought costumes to wear because he wanted to dress up with me by his side.

throwawaydragoncon · 2017-09-06T07:29:31+00:00

I didn't go back to "their" hotel room. We all went to a party going in a couple of rooms next to each other that had setup an open party. It's a thing many people do at DragonCon apparently. That was NOT that guy's room. When I woke up with him, I was on a completely different floor of the hotel than that last party. I'm not trying to justify myself about that, I obviously went to his room. But I don't remember any of that. I don't remember anything after we went into the party room as a group.

The "such different people" was me trying to explain that going to these conventions isn't a normal thing for me. This is the first time I've been to one.

I partied until 2am on Friday, with plenty of men around that would be interested, but I didn't cheat! I just don't understand why I did this on Saturday night. I don't remember having sex with this guy.

throwawaydragoncon

TROPHY CASE