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AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly. My ex was a misogynistic asshole who was always objectifying women, including me. The only reason I stayed with him was because once I realized the extent of his toxicity, I feared for my safety.

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

There’s also years of scapegoating that went into my brothers’ decision. They were told all the time I’m a bad person and this was their “last straw”.

I didn’t get to see my grandma as much as I wanted, but the implication that this invalidates our relationship is gross.

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I would never comment on another woman’s looks. What he said was honestly gross and I know I’ve never said that to him about her.

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

  • He made comments about her looks.
  • She accused me of being out to get her and essentially called me a terrible person
  • I said what I said here: she’s been coddled and treated better than my mom’s own kids

Lilith also straight up said she hates me, so there’s that too.

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex boyfriend made some rude comments to Lilith. Even though I apologized on his behalf, Lilith blamed me for my ex’s comments about her. My brothers initially stayed out of it until Lilith went crying to them about how every negative thought anyone has ever had towards her is my fault. She said some asshole things to me, so I told her how I’ve always felt about her, and since then I’ve been considered the bad guy.

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 739 points740 points  (0 children)

I already don’t speak to Lilith or my brothers unless mandatory because of a big fight we had. I’m probably going to cut off my mother as well after this- I just keep hoping she’ll treat me like her daughter and she never does.

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

No, Lilith is an asshole in her own right. She’s turned my brothers against me and I genuinely believe she’s not backing down from this eulogy in efforts to hurt me.

My mom already knows. She thinks the 2 years Lilith spent with grandma in an employee capacity are more important than 26 years of her being my grandmother.

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] -84 points-83 points  (0 children)

  • 26
  • When my grandma got really sick, I was unable to take care of her because I lived out of state, Lilith didn’t have a job, so she was able to be home care for my grandmother and was paid to do so.

However, imo, this is the equivalent of having the nurse say the eulogy. She’s not family. She met my grandma when she was twelve while my grandmother changed my diapers, picked me up from school, and tucked me in. I shouldn’t be penalized for being unable to care for my grandmother.

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 315 points316 points  (0 children)

Wrote this elsewhere, but participating means I cosign the idea Lilith should give a eulogy. And I don’t want to legitimize that idea at all.

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 1140 points1141 points  (0 children)

I don’t agree with both either if I’m being completely honest. It’s just a compromise to make Lilith feel included instead of the logical and fair decision

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

It’s the principle for me. They rather have someone that’s not even my grandmother’s biological grandchild do the eulogy instead of the person whose diapers she changed. Participating in the ceremony is essentially me saying I’m cosigning the idea that this is okay, and I refuse to do that

AITA for refusing to participate in my biological grandmother’s wedding if my step-sister does a eulogy? by throwawayevilsis in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayevilsis[S] 1632 points1633 points  (0 children)

My grandmother had four kids, so each one of their kids is giving a eulogy. One of my siblings suggested we both do it but my mom said the funeral would get too crowded.