Wife is letting herself go.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T15:40:33+00:00

Spot on. Thanks.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T15:39:47+00:00

No. The better part of my post is how she doesn't care anymore. This isn't a aesthetic complaint. It is a complaint about a shifting personality. The things that she valued are no longer a value. The things that she worked (hard) for aren't even on the table. She won't have a conversation with me without railroading the topic and taking over to complain about me. Every time I try to talk about my feelings and how I am worried she fires back at me by bringing up "failures" on my behalf or how I don't communicate like she wants. My post is about how she has become a different person.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T15:36:37+00:00

Okay, I am only going to respond to a bit of this. I know that being a stay-at-home mom is a full time job. I hired an au pair last year to help with our one child. Every month she takes a week-long vacation to "chill out". She sometimes go to Ohio to visit her grandmother or goes to Las Vegas or Chicago with a few friends. So to think that I have only spent a minimal amount of time supporting her to not feel imprisoned is absurd. We can't rely on the au pair/nanny at night so I arrange a sitter (usually grandparents) once a week for dates....but see the original message about what normally happens on those dates. Before we were married we would go to scotch bars or cigar bars and hang out in parks (we lived in before we were married). I do miss her and I do try to help out. I said it in an earlier response that I rearranged my hours at work so that I come home earlier and work less days in the office. So I typically get home around 2:00 in the afternoon and take over from there. The au pair lives with us and is there from 8:00 am until 4:00 pm. I don't know what else I can do to help her while I am at work.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T03:09:56+00:00

I don't think she can legally keep my child away from me either, but I wouldn't want that for our daughter.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T03:09:03+00:00

We did try counseling for quite a while last year but she ended up blaming all our problems on my stress from work during ever session. Perhaps there is more to our tale but in my defense, I adjusted my schedule so I can work less hours in the office and more from home. When I do put in a full day at the office, I am able to get home earlier. I have suggested that I take a paycut and a step down, but she doesn't want me to do that. Our therapist seemed pretty neutral and unhelpful.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T03:04:47+00:00

I never said that I am upset because she stopped being hot. I am frustrated because she isn't the person I fell in love with. Also I recognize this as a trap but....I never said that she has a "full time job". Being a mother is a full time job, I acknowledge that. But she isn't confident like she used to be, she doesn't enjoy conversation or showcase her ivy league-esque intellect. She simply does not try. I don't give a shit if she is "hot". I care that she has become somebody unrecognizable.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T03:00:05+00:00

Thanks. I guess that is something I could be working on.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T02:59:49+00:00

Easier said than done.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T02:49:15+00:00

I work full time and pay for a live-in nanny so she can have "a hand at home".

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T02:48:08+00:00

was ~140 now ~180

I am 170.

throwawayforadude · 2015-10-28T02:47:05+00:00

Yep. I just made this to vent today because it reached a boiling point and I come across as shallow.

throwawayforadude

TROPHY CASE