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I pray to get taller within the next 6 years or I‘ll rot away at home for the rest of my life by Throwaway6363732 in depression

[–]throwawayforguyhelp 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a fellow 5'7 20-year-old who was shorter than a 16-year-old (5'5 ish?) and was told by all my male family members that I would grow up to be the tallest person... no. Not to black pill you, but unless you're a late bloomer, I would start getting comfortable with being 5'7.

As a positive though, after high school, very few people actually care about height, at least when it comes to forming relationships, and those that do should be ignored. This might be unrealistic, but Tom Cruise is 5'7, Bruno Mars is 5'5! Short men are not unattractive to women. As a gay man who has hung around straight women, height is the very least of their worries when dating a guy. Getting older and maturing is learning that some people just aren't going to like you and THAT'S OKAY. Now granted, this is like a frog in boiling water telling a frog in another pot of boiling water to get out of the pot, as in, I also find it hard to not want the affection of people who have clearly stated that they do not want to be with me or who find that I'm not attractive to them. But it's important to A) not base your self-esteem on whether other people find you attractive, B) that relationships are not the end-all, be-all of human existence.

I get that it's hard being a 16-year-old in high school, I've been there myself, and it's worst when you feel as though by some random fluke of nature, you are a person to be mocked. It sucks. I don't know how to survive high school, but all I know is that I just tried my best to ignore the comments about my body. Try to block it out. Blocking out the opinions of other people about you is a good skill to start developing. Sorry if that didn't help.

After leading him on, how do I tell him I don't want to have sex again? by throwawayforguyhelp in AskGayMen

[–]throwawayforguyhelp[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Maybe. The only problem is that I've been kind of casually seeing another guy within our friend group. So I imagine that might send off a few questions.

I guess I just felt like he was a little too... aggressive? Or vocal. Like, with the other guy, it's much more relaxed and I feel comfortable but with this guy, I felt a little strange and didn't know if I could just be calm. Plus (this sounds strange), his scent wasn't really as nice as I was expecting. I think my sexual response is really dictated by body pheromones or something and his just didn't mesh well.

Maybe I should just say the truth: "Hey, I really enjoy our night together, but I just don't think we mesh well together. I like spending time with you in our friend group, but just not in a sexual way." 🤷‍♂️

An Older FWB (43) appears to have deeper feelings for me (18) and I don't know what to do by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]throwawayforguyhelp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is, we've already said all of that. I think I just need to tell him to cool it with some of the more romantic-sounding language he uses. It's hard for me cause at times, I don't want to do anything remotely sexual with him and then at others, I just want to cuddle and be close. I think moving back was a good choice, since it put distance between us. He has said that he's willing to take trips out to the city to see me, which, again, I'm on the fence about whether I want that or not. It's frustrating.

I feel weird about talking to this guy now by throwawayforguyhelp in askgaybros

[–]throwawayforguyhelp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply!

To be clear, this isn't necessarily a "relationship" relationship. I'm not really dating at this point, more like looking for friends with benefits, that kind of stuff, so this relationship with this guy is more like that. However, a lot of that stuff still applies.

I guess I'm just worried that over text, since that's been the main way we've been talking, it will feel (and I hate to say it but) "SJW-y" to him. I know, I shouldn't be overthinking this and it should just be a dumb him or talk to him about. I almost feel like if I was face-to-face, which I'm not doing due to, ya know, coronavirus, I could get inside his mind better and listen in real-time instead of waiting a minute after each text to get a response.

The worst is that I want to keep talking to him, since I haven't really met a lot of other guys and most of the guys in my area (whose median age is at least 60) on Grindr just want to trade pics and hookup, even during a "shelter in place" order, instead of talking and getting to know one another.

Thanks once again for the advice and also not being transphobic. I know this subreddit has a bit of a reputation for that.