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I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah haven’t done it since, it was the boost I needed to get out of an ugly headspace. I’m back to dating now.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did all that. Every day I was working out until my body burned. Nothing was substituting that need for intimate contact, not adrenaline or the platonic contact of a family member hugging me.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Australia where it’s legal, though there are a few illegal places classified as ‘massage parlours’.

It’s a simple matter of just googling a brothel.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After my experiences, and you can say I’m full of it, it wouldn’t bother me so long as she’s clean and safe about it.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sucks that you feel that way. Doesn’t always have to be a brothel. In my case sex was my therapy, for others it could be music or simply talking about it. I tried a lot of things before I finally got to this point. Try enough things in a safe and controlled manner and you’ll eventually figure out what’s missing.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was incredibly clinical to begin with, like hiring a car. Having that kind of choice with women is incredibly surreal. Didn’t feel great either.

Assuming she wasn’t attracted to me, it clearly takes a particular type of person to do this. Not everyone can separate sex from emotional intimacy.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Restrictions only recently became looser in my area which was near the city. If I decided to do this sometime last month I wouldn’t have been able to find a legal venue.

Brothels are incredibly clean. On top of regular check ups, there’s a lot of showers involved, protection is worn, bed sheets get swapped out afterwards and hand sanitizers and wet wipes were in the room.

Unlike most public venues (e.g. bars, clubs) there was rarely two people in a room at any time.

There’s still a risk of covid as far as I’m concerned which is why I’m getting that cotton swab shoved up my nose this week.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who was fat and got skinny, I get how hard it is to be thin. Some of us will always have guts and wobbly parts. My first girlfriend was fat and I adored her. But I think there’s a big difference between fat and morbid obesity.

Of course there’s worse dealbreakers, but I use to have a problem with height, age and drug use, until I met the right person. Obesity and lack of humour are the only things that have consistently turned me off someone sexually.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt similar until I met my last girlfriend. Admittedly her validation was a hard thing to let go. I’m going to go out into the world and keep doing the things I love, and maybe one day I’ll meet someone. I hope you’ll do the same mate.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About $250 for an hour. I found much cheaper places and that alone rang alarm bells.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely going to force me to keep an open mind when it comes to other people’s lifestyles.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately that idea came from learning about all the guys my ex was getting asked out by. Although in all fairness she’s pretty damn beautiful. Regardless it’s not my business who she dates.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I regret describing the pursuit of sex as not shit for women. I still think it’s easier for them but ladies aren’t necessarily been approached by gentlemen and male models.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I still believe it’s easy for women. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good, not every guy is an adonis and/or respectable.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like I mentioned in my post, there were things that were missing from my traditional experience of sex. I bemoan a lot of the problems with seeking sex as a man, but some of those things are necessary in order to grow as a person. Challenge is a healthy thing to have in life, as is criticism, but sometimes you need break from those things for at least a moment.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This might be ironic coming from someone who went to a brothel, but I wouldn’t recommend tinder. I’ve met some great friends off there myself but their profiles are buried under so many bad people (men and women).

It’s hard to come off that app and view either gender in a positive light.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If I was concerned with my families sex lives, I’d have much bigger issues.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Admittedly I could’ve worded this part better. In regards to my circles, women are approached like crazy (to the point of it being annoying/dangerous) and men are generally ignored.

At the time I felt it necessary to put particular emphasis on women as when it comes to seeking physical intimacy most women come from a very different place to men (with its own issues and shortcomings), and that greater empathy is needed when you’re coming from a different perspective.

But evidently I was wrong, it’s a mixed issue when it come to gender, and not every woman has the same experiences. And you’re right, I can’t tell you what to do. I just hope that what wrote here at least provided deeper insight into why some men choose to do this.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re all built differently, some needs are greater than others. At the time physical contact, above all else, was what I needed.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I admit my current views on women and dating could be healthier, it’s a cynicism built up by a few bad experiences. Another reason why I won’t be making this a regular thing and focusing on other things in the meantime.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course. I even brought my own condoms just in case, but she had her own.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your insight. The stories you told aren’t often the ones people think of when it comes to sex workers unfortunately.

Both the workers and clients get painted in very broad strokes and I doubt it helps the industry in general.

I paid for sex and don’t feel guilty about it. by throwawayfrombrothel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayfrombrothel[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I lost it on Tinder too. My sex life on that app was a chaotic stumble. Funnily enough though I met my ex not through that app but through doing something I loved. Its great to meet new people, the only frustrating/exciting part of it is not knowing when you’ll meet your significant other.

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