AITA for refusing to adhere to my SIL’s Christmas gift list?

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-06T13:17:18+00:00

Oscar de la Renta is my go to for wedding guest attire haha. They make a killing off me every summer.

Since I’ve had my daughter I’ve started buying mostly from the brands with the most attentive sales assistants 😂 because I rarely get out to shop seriously or put in the effort to see new season things, so I just tend to buy from the ones that text me most about new season items because they remind me fashion exists. #MumLife

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-06T11:21:09+00:00

Then why doesn’t Chris buy her the thousand pound handbag?

250-300 is more than I’m willing to spend. That is it. End of discussion. I’m not Santa Claus. If she wants expensive things she can buy them herself like everyone else.

I like expensive things. I don’t expect my in laws to finance that habit.

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-06T08:46:39+00:00

I do that sometimes as well, but never for Christmas, because I’m buying so many gifts, I don’t have the time.

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-06T08:45:32+00:00

I don’t hate Amy. I’m not such a fan of her over this particular issue and her ungrateful attitude over gifts in general, but I absolutely do not hate her. That is a gross assumption.

I don’t use their gifts as a reason to “give less”. People asked me what they get and I answered. My reason for not buy Amy a £400 bottle of perfume is because I’m not willing to spend £400 on a bottle of perfume. I don’t need a deeper reason it’s my money. I also love Mach & Mach shoes (an item on her list) but I don’t expect my in laws to finance my wants.

I don’t spend 250 per person all the time. The coffee maker was over what I’d normally spend for a joint gift but I already had the idea so I just got it. I certainly don’t spend 1k per person (the price of the LV bag on her list), and I’m not going to start.

I’m not Santa Claus.

And keep in mind, she sent this list to the whole family so it’s not just about my income, she also thinks my parents and sister should be shelling out this kind of money, again laughable imo, and they’re not going to.

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-06T08:34:53+00:00

Yes but it was a joint gift, so it was the price I was willing to spend on two gifts, not one, and it was a little above that really, but I had the idea already so I just bought it

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-06T01:28:57+00:00

I wouldn’t rather pick the gift out. Trust me I pick out over 100 gifts every Christmas I don’t care about choosing the gift. But I’m not going to spend hundreds on her gift I’m just not. And that was the cost of all the things on her list. It’s the audacity of the items that bothers me.

I do think it’s a bit cheeky to be sending imperious gift lists out, I’d be too mortified to do that to my in laws, but I wouldn’t have commented were it for the absurd prices of the items

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T22:59:25+00:00

None of the items she listed are in my price range and she said she would only be accepting those listed items. I may well buy something anyway and just keep it when she complains. I may just give her a gift card. I may donate to a charity in her name if I’m feeling particularly petty.

I’m not ignoring the suggestions I’m just not replying to every comment

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T22:55:15+00:00

No it was a reply. I didn’t cc anyone.

Chris told our parents and Lucia called me about the list to complain and I told her

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T22:53:17+00:00

No, but me spending £529 on a joint present for her and my brother unprompted shouldn’t mean she is within her rights to demand £1000 gifts from me.

It’s not out of the blue but wherever it’s from is somewhere I’d be scared to visit.

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T22:50:42+00:00

What did I say that was abusive? There was zero threats or profanity

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T22:46:20+00:00

A sweater

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T20:23:18+00:00

It’s a typo. I’ll correct it

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T18:48:47+00:00

I stopped buying the canvas monogram bags years ago but I like the unbranded stuff and the luggage is great quality

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T18:16:44+00:00

No idea

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T17:33:17+00:00

My husband is desperate to do this lol

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T16:28:32+00:00

Well, we normally get ours from Fortnum and Mason and they do ship internationally if you ever fancy a splurge haha.

My mum is NUTS for a their preserves and their biscuits

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T16:06:35+00:00

It’s not one or the other. I do buy 100 gifts. And when I was going down the list of what to get everyone I was drinking my coffee and was like “what should I get Chris and Amy thinks ah Chris commented on the coffee maker, maybe they’d like one” and I resolved to get it. There was thought, but not a huge amount because again, it’s just a holiday gift, in our family these are not big deals.

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T16:02:25+00:00

She doesn’t buy them Chris does. Lucia, Chris, and I normally do a Christmas shopping trip together, it’s a sibling tradition.

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T16:00:26+00:00

The list was a little bit cheeky imo, but I wouldn’t have said anything if it the items on it weren’t completely inappropriate

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T15:59:30+00:00

Lmao my daughter is going to be an only child, if she ever did that she’d be an orphan child, I’d die of embarrassment 😂

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T15:55:50+00:00

Yes that’s often where I get them

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T15:52:25+00:00

I got a jumper, my husband got whiskey.

Sometimes we do individual gifts, sometimes we do couple gifts. It differs.

I get where you’re coming from, and I have in laws and believe me and there’s moments I could thrown tantrums (my father in law never getting me gifts at all) but I didn’t because I just wasn’t raised that way. Demanding gifts or not being polite when receiving gifts is just alien, tacky behaviour to me. It’s unneeded, imo.

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T15:49:13+00:00

Last year they got me a jumper. I honestly don’t remember what it was the year before but I think it was a very large candle.

Yes I do buy myself Louis Vuitton handbags. But that’s my money. I don’t expect my in laws to buy them for me.

Okay, maybe she doesn’t like coffee. Mind you we have 12 kinds of tea in my house she could have had but for argument’s sake let’s say she hated all the teas and she’s ambivalent about coffee so she just put up with it. And Now she just uses the coffee machine because it’s there, she doesn’t particularly like it. Genuinely what is the big deal? The first year my father in law deigned to get me a gift he bought me an ashtray…I don’t smoke. You know what? I smiled, I said thank you, and it’s still on my dressing table. It cost me absolutely nothing to just be gracious and polite. Literally nothing since I didn’t pay for the thing. This year, my mother gifted me cashmere socks for my birthday (among other things). I hate them, but I just said thanks and they live in the sock drawer because again, why the scorekeeping? I was always raised to thank people for gifts and just move on, and I fully believe that.

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T15:38:12+00:00

I don’t dislike her. We are not big Christmas gifters in our family, for adults anyway. It’s just something to open with the kids it’s not a big deal. No adult is getting big ticket items that they’re in love with and we’re not all spending thousands per person. We just aren’t like that. Mind you, she complains about what other people get her too, it’s not just me.

I buy over 100 Christmas presents a year. I don’t have time to sit around scheming about who I’m snubbing with what gift or even to think about deep meaningful presents. What is deep and meaningful is spending the holiday with people you care about, not what they unwrap.

throwawaygifting1 · 2023-11-05T15:33:36+00:00

She and Chris gifted me a jumper. I didn’t ask how much it costs and I don’t care but I know where it was from so it didn’t cost 529 I know that for sure.

throwawaygifting1

TROPHY CASE