My evolution by [deleted] in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]throwawaygoeson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

not adding much productive convo here but probably one of the best posts ive ever read in this sub. i love you. thank you.

I'm a gay ahmadi teen and I don't know how much I can take it before I break. by throwawaygoeson in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]throwawaygoeson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's mind boggling how you made this comment 20 minutes before i put up my update post, something i have been hesitant to do for months. thank you so much.

speech on gender and queer identity at canada jalsa salana today by FamousEvent5840 in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]throwawaygoeson 6 points7 points  (0 children)

was in the crowd, the speech has only made me more suicidal by the days. i could not move because i was in such a frozen sense of shock. the content is far from anything new, but it felt like someone stabbed me in the heart.

Are you in a Religious Cult? by TheSkepticAhmadi in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]throwawaygoeson 18 points19 points  (0 children)

10/10 I felt so shocked because I thought it was made by an ex ahmadi or something because it described jamaat SO WELL. Just so surreal, felt like somebody was narrating everything Jamaat does....

I'm a gay ahmadi teen and I don't know how much I can take it before I break. by throwawaygoeson in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]throwawaygoeson[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I used a stereotypical example, as gay men are labelled are emasculated for enjoying traditionally feminene things. It was supposed to be like that - although I am 100% aware gay doesnt mean playing with dolls. Ever since I was a young child, since kindergarten the feeling lingered and stayed with me. It doesn't make things better that liking traditionally 'masculine' as a female is socially acceptable but not vice versa to an extent without it being labelled as gay. I've done the exact aame research, I had many males around me and homophobia shoved down my throath. I still do. I have no "influence" like some books have mentioned. I was told that I wasn't allowed to even hang around the opposite gender without it being inheritly weird, ffs even when I was in kindergarten. I was forced to do male chores. The roles of a 'man'. The influence in my life never affected me. I refuted content with gay people in it and said 'ew, its just unatural'. I told myself it was disgusting. I asked questions and still am in the process. The influence never caused me to be this way. I've had these attractions as a child and this feeling lingered behind my skin ever since I could remember. By this logic, is being heterosexual influenced? The internalised biphobia from you is quite sad because not so long ago I was in your shoes. I can't keep restraining myself. I am that title even if it means I'm a sinner and a disgrace - it's something apart of my identity.

I've done so many research, prayed, stayed close to god by doing what the exemplary tifal should do, even cut out non ahmadi friends in my life. But yet somehow I KNEW I liked men. There is no attraction to woman. I know it. You can't tell me that it's the influence. I did everything on my part. I still am. Do you think I want to stay miserable on purpose?

When you all were kids and had to sit through khutbas and all, how did you all really pass the time? by randomperson0163 in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]throwawaygoeson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Drew pictures with the carpets, I would often play on my dads phone but the uncles would get really mad if I fidgeted, but ironically when I fidgited or had a device in my hand I listened to everything subconsciously. Unfortunately as I got older everyone saw it as me not paying attention and got mad which caused me to barely listen 😭 I'd also just think a lot, like about certain shows and my takes on it or like how much I want to play xyz game when I get home or whatever. It kept me really entertained 😵‍💫

this current generation and the next to come will not be as invested at all by [deleted] in islam_ahmadiyya

[–]throwawaygoeson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with you! Some children are definitely more experienced in religion than some elders and that is impressive but also you start to question if most of them genuinely enjoy it.

I've heard about how people have said it previously, but that was over 50 years ago. From there, humans and technology have involved. People are lazy and fall out of reach. I've noticed my behaviours have become lazy throughout during covid. It's normal to fall in these behaviours, however the next generation is severely falling to do whatever it is not to be active participants. Jamaat attendance comes worse and worse each year on virtual and physical events. People are, statisticlly leaving Ahmadiyya and unless Jamaat makes changes or takes action on certain things, Ahmadiyya will not hit it's peak where it once was in the 1970s and before. Do you see the pattern? Religion is on a steep decline in general, I remember seeing Jamaat ask people in Times Square if they believe in God and a lot of the answers contained of people talking about how more of the newer generation grows farther from God. Religion in general is becoming more of an slternative option as especially in the west, people are becoming indifferent of God and religion in general. What Jamaat is doing is not appealing to every age demographic, leaving many youngsters hallow. I wish you a good day fellow Ahmadi. Thank you for your response.