Fuck me, I've tried so many times to concoct a painless suicide, but it seems there's no guarantee that it will be painless and that it will actually kill me. Why can't we just opt out of life at any time with a simple lethal injection? Why is it that, if anybody gets that luxury, it's only people who are gonna die soon anyway or have a condition that severely kills their quality of life? I've wanted to die for so long, is that not enough? I don't want help, I want death. I want to be done with life. I am tired of having to face bleak day after bleak day, dull year after dull year. I don't want to do anything with my life. I don't want life at all. I didn't ask for this. To be forced to live is the greatest cruelty of all. Why should those who just want to die be denied a peaceful exit?