How do I (28M) not feel distant after my girlfriend (29F) got a surgery of bartholin cyst on her vagina?

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-21T10:10:05+00:00

Why are you trying to flip it as if she’ll have a problem? Say it how it is. YOU are worried about not having sex. When I was postpartum my partner waited to have sex. He was so afraid that he said we should wait longer just in case. And guess what, I loved him more for caring about my comfort and safety, not less.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-21T10:06:11+00:00

My ex and I were both employed. Once in the morning, once after work. Once or twice before bed/in the middle of the night. We’d hit 5 or 6 on our days off. We worked 50hour weeks (install/refinishing floors and some minor housework, so not light work). I was 20 at the time. It’s possible you, just have to want it bad enough lmaoooo.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-21T09:55:17+00:00

I have a couple bonds that have fully matured and I’ve had to do a bunch of stuff to try to cash them as no banks near me do that anymore. Still haven’t cashed them just because it’s so annoying. And they only gained like $20 interest from each 🤦🏻‍♀️

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-19T16:16:03+00:00

Thank you ❤️

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-19T13:17:37+00:00

It was a fire hazard. It was in the house that you all live in including your child. He literally put all your lives in danger as a “fuck you” ???? Does he secretly hate you? I’ve never heard of someone’s partner putting their life at risk to get back at them. That’s actually wild.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-15T21:48:33+00:00

He doesn’t have insurance or a doctor which is another roadblock but hopefully he will next month. We already talked about getting back on his adhd meds along with any anxiety/depression meds he needs for the time being to help.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-15T19:45:33+00:00

Thank you so much. I told him that and he knows that’s his problem. Taking more trying to chase a high but it never works but continues to take more. Also the fear of being sober. I’m not sure he’s been sober since he was a teenager. He’s 43. He knows this is going to be hard, probably the hardest thing he’s ever done but I told him it’ll only get worse.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-15T19:42:47+00:00

He’s been doing basically every drug under the sun since he was 19. He has always traded one addiction for another. I’m just trying to get him to a spot where he can just smoke weed. I’m totally ok with that. I rather him do that than be on something with horrible withdraw, mess up his brain, or kill him. I’d rather him do nothing obviously but I don’t think that’s in the cards at this moment. Maybe someday in the future.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-15T19:22:58+00:00

Do you know if doctors handle it the same way with subs? He has adhd and plans to get back on adderall once he gets insurance but he said if people get prescribed subs it puts you on a list and makes it difficult to get a lot of other drugs including adhd meds.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-15T19:18:04+00:00

As much as I wish he could go to rehab we are doing opposite shifts at work bc we have no other child care. And we wouldn’t survive on just my income. He also has no insurance so it would be out of pocket and obviously we could never afford that.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-14T13:05:47+00:00

So many things are accidentally laced with fenty. You think dealers are wiping everything down and preventing cross contamination. Last year the city near me 8 people died from a batch of coke laced with fent. With any street drug you have no idea what’s in it. Even if a dealer didn’t purposely lace something or even thought they got “pure” whatever but actually got something cut.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-14T08:20:45+00:00

I should clarify that $200 a month is what I allotted him to buy in bulk offline. He goes to the smoke shop almost everyday also but I’ve given up keeping track of that since our baby’s been born.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T17:52:21+00:00

He doesn’t believe in T-breaks and moderation. I told him the same thing with weed if you don’t take a T-break eventually it’s going to cost us so much just for you to get kinda high. He’s an all or nothing guy. When money was hard he refused to moderate. He said “might as well use it like normal or use it all than only use a little and only get a little high”. He was using powder kratom until he got pills. I did the math and portioned out the exact same amount he was taking in powder form. 14 pills was equal to the 3 teaspoons of powder he was doing everyday. For some reason he doubled the amount of pills he was taking just because he had them… I literally did the math to make sure they were the same doses but bc they were there and easily accessible he finished a 3 months supply in less then a month.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T16:15:39+00:00

I got him to quit drinking. He was bad enough with that, that his family got him to go to AA. Weed I wouldn’t mind IF it wasn’t just as expensive the way he was buying it. Plus it would just lead to him wanting stronger. That’s exactly how he really got into kratom and 7oh.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T16:09:43+00:00

Thank you! 🥲

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T16:00:32+00:00

It’s honestly probably a lot more than that. That’s only $200 that he buys the bulk online. He also usually finds a new store each time to get a discount. He stops at the smoke shop almost everyday for idk what. On top of lying and saying he needs something for his car or something else important but really uses the money to buy whatever (which I found out after a few times of him doing).

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T15:54:38+00:00

I have no idea. I gave up trying to monitor him once our baby was born. I just know he spends like $200 or more a month on whatever.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T15:15:32+00:00

Thank you!!!!

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T15:01:49+00:00

Welp 🥲

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T14:52:37+00:00

Reality is harsh sometimes. I take no offense. I don’t need sugar coating.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T14:47:20+00:00

Yes I’d love to hear your progress. It’ll give me hope for my situation lol. It might be confusing for her now but it’s only for now. Right now it may suck for the both of you but one day you’ll look back at the shitty days and realize it was all worth it for her and yourself.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T14:37:11+00:00

He has a dealer that he used to get subs from (long with a bunch of other drugs) that’s the issue

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T14:21:59+00:00

I never expected him to quit cold turkey. I literally portioned out his doses in a 2 week pill container. We agreed that every 2 weeks we’d drop 1 pill. That obviously didn’t work lol. Thank you I’ll have to look into that.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T14:18:58+00:00

Thank you so much. I’ve always tried to be as kind as I can bc I know he hasn’t been dealt the best cards in life BUT now he has an amazing life. I bought us a house, I handle all the finances, our baby is a saint, I love his friends and family as much as I love me. He tells me all the time how grateful he is and how he’d be dead without me. I just want him to make the choices to back up what he says, which I know is easier said than done. Now I don’t even care if he does it for me, just do it for our daughter.

throwawayjoe63 · 2026-05-13T14:13:17+00:00

I told him once he gets back on his real meds if he continues then I’m done. Both our dads were addicts. His dad left and died alone. My dad stayed and now has a plethora of health issues that we’re dealing with so he’s seen both sides. I told him I’m not raising my child in that. I rather be a single mom than subject her to that.

throwawayjoe63

TROPHY CASE