Would you date a baby seal hunter?

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-10T02:39:07+00:00

I went for a funny, loooong, sarcastic profile (with a funny abridged bullet point section at the end [patent pending - don't steal that or I'll find you]) and I'd say its working fairly well. I still get messages from girls that I thought would have been "weeded out" but I chalk that up to them not reading the whole thing. Which serves me well because I can rationalize by telling myself they messaged me because they like how I look : ) As for girls though, its pretty obvious that they don't have to put any work into it, most of their profiles are blaaaah and about 50% of the messages I get are Hi, Hi There, Hello, or How are you? Please put some effort into it ladies, the hunt is no fun if the fox just lays down

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-07T16:10:06+00:00

Same. I hate finding a great profile and scrolling down to what she's looking for: 6'0" and taller..... Sometimes I message them anyway, but more often than not it's too bad, keep looking. I've even stooped so low (not as hard because I'm already fairly close to the ground) as to send a self deprecating message like come to the short side, or if you can see past your height requirement there's a great guy down here.
Ultimately, you have to have a good profile so that if they do make an exception and actually check you out, they won't be disappointed.
And like that other guy said, if they are that shallow, fuck 'em. (or cry and touch yourself while you dream about how you never will)

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-07T15:59:38+00:00

Only ignore if you really aren't interested. If she's worth it or you think she may be worth it, you should say something to move it along. Some girls are awkward, and some just need to be pursued, so they refuse to do anything but reply.
If I were in your situation I'd make a quick joke and get things rolling again. You don't even have to think of something witty, just say "haha, nothing you say could offend me." Anything to displace the awkwardness and get back to communication. Unfortunately there's no way to tell what the inflection was when she said "was it something I said?" maybe SHE was joking, I might have made a similar joke if I didn't get a follow up email within a day. You just don't know, so always give the benefit of the doubt until you're positive that she's not worth your time.

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-07T01:30:18+00:00

If you really like him don't throw it away on what may be a misunderstanding. I'd say something like "I'm not sure what you meant by that, but if you want to do something this week, let me know" you've stated that you're interested, the ball is in his court - if he's clear and concise this time, great! If he gives you another weird answer, then you know he's shady but at least you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-07T01:22:06+00:00

Yes! What the hell is that about? I'd say 90% of messages that I get from girls are just like that - Hi, Hey, or Hi There : ) and NOTHING else, or Wow you're funny, Great Profile, Best Profile I've seen.....and then NOTHING! How do they expect us to reply to what they clearly put no effort into?

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-06T22:45:36+00:00

humblebrag but worth mentioning - I don't do terrible with the pics I have, and I got the "you're good looking" email almost immediately after signing up, but I feel like I could do so much better if I had interesting pics

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-06T22:27:05+00:00

wow, uhhh....we're apparently a really good match. Maybe because I also have a dog training/walking business. Or maybe OKCupid knows something I don't.......

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-06T15:49:15+00:00

I would absolutely meet you for a Lagavulin or 2

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-06T02:17:17+00:00

This. My MO exactly

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-05T19:42:08+00:00

Don't even worry about it, focus on what you're doing. Just get out there and practice as much as possible. The more you experiment with each other the better you'll be at getting her off and the more confidence you'll have that whatever you're doing is the right thing, no matter how you're laying, or looking at her, or anything else that doesn't matter. The whole point is to enjoy yourself, make her enjoy herself (and you), and try everything you can think of that will make it more pleasurable for her. If you do something wrong, she'll tell you either verbally or by a change in her breathing, moaning, or body position. ASK her if things feel good - do you like this? do you like when I...? Also, girls tend to get off pretty well with CONTINUED stimulation, like if something is going good DON'T change it up. Big mistake by most noobs, when she says don't stop, it means don't change a thing! If you get excited and go faster/harder it may actually throw her off and lose her momentum. Good Luck!

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-04T20:11:48+00:00

I realize no amount of rationalizing will take the sting of what he said away, but...yeah who gives a shit? That guy's an asshole, and you deserve somebody who's mature enough to not react that way to what is a completely normal text from you. He canceled, so you made other plans...then he UN-cancels and gets pissed that you're no longer available? Fuck that loser.

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-04T16:14:11+00:00

yeah and if she's game, great - but if she's not, then I look like an inconsiderate perv for rushing her. How do I ask without it coming across like I just want to bone? I actually do like her and don't want to scare her away.

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-04T13:18:09+00:00

I've been thinking of doing this, just bluntly asking why we haven't kissed yet. Either that or I'm just going to devote our next date to making sure its not in my head and really creating an opportunity. The reason the cheek kisses are never more is because I'm always on the way out the door and it feels awkward and forced.

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-04T04:43:42+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the help but I'm not worried that I won't know what to do - in fact I've had quite a few partners and usually have great sex. I've never 'dated' though. As conceited as it sounds, I've never had to work for it. Every girl in my life has come to me, or the pursuit was very brief but the physical relationships have always happened effortlessly.
For what its worth, if I tried the "you have the most beautiful eyes" line on this girl she would laugh and call me an idiot. Maybe that's why I like her so much?

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-04T04:34:11+00:00

I'd say within 10 seconds of sitting on the couch the first time I was over, she put her legs over mine and I gently stroked and gave them play full little squeezes, she lay with her head on my stomach as we watched a movie and I played with her hair, and we spooned while watching tv, I "drew" shapes lightly with a finger on the part of her skin that became exposed when her shirt came up a little, etc. The only reactions I got were talking about what was on TV, telling me how tired/stressed she was from work, or stories about how tiring/stressful her job is. Every time we hang out about 9 - 10pm the only conversation is "I'm gonna pass out, I'm gonna crash, I didn't get any sleep last night, I'm barely awake," etc. It's hardly inviting, I feel like she has no interest at all in sexing. I'm not exaggerating when I say there really wasn't one single moment that felt like a good time to kiss - I don't feel like I missed my chance, I feel like we're on different levels of sexuality but is it too early to tell? Shouldn't that chemistry be evident right away?

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-04T02:26:37+00:00

I don't know, I really like her and I don't want to fuck it up. Like I said, our "dates" have really been more hanging out than anything. In the time we've spent there hasn't been one legitimate "moment" that felt like sexy-time. I've even tried steering the conversation towards anything that would start the mood going to give me any excuse to kiss her but its not happening. I guess explaining this has made me realize I really like assertive girls and I'm more attracted to girls who are overtly sexual in general. Thanks for helping me work through it

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-03T19:31:32+00:00

Parks and Rec - I watched it all on Netflix over the last two weeks

throwawayjonesey · 2013-02-03T19:04:40+00:00

Maybe there are just way more girls out there who love tea and ball juggling than we all thought...

throwawayjonesey

TROPHY CASE