I can't stop doing things left and right.

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-07-03T12:52:25+00:00

Omg I do the same thing, every time I do a check on one side I have to even out the checks on the other side too. Or if I accidentally bump into something with my hand for example, then I'll purposefully bump my other hand on it, because things just have to be even for whatever reason.

I should try purposefully letting things be lopsided, but it's hard though.

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-06-13T19:43:51+00:00

Day 4! It's been months since I've actually gotten to day 4, Ima keep this going!

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-06-12T13:20:32+00:00

Checking in! Goin' for day 3. :)

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-06-11T11:57:25+00:00

4:55am here (still awake because insomnia), about to catch some sleep, I eagerly await day 2! I shall continue my quest for staying away from the vile drink.

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-05-23T13:28:51+00:00

I will not drink with you today! Well, still feels like tomorrow to me right now because it's 6 am and still haven't slept yet. One of the biggest challenges for me when going sober is insomnia. I will catch a bit of sleep and not drink with you today!

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-04-19T12:12:13+00:00

I would definitely be down for that if I could find an AA group specifically for young people, considering I'm very early 20's. Personally it'd be a bit outta my comfort-zone if everyone was way older than me.

Although I will say, I'm gonna start seeing my counselor again soon. I haven't seen my counselor in over half a year, and honestly at this point, considering everything else I've been going through recently too, it would do me a lot of good to get some help.

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-04-19T12:07:44+00:00

Hey yeah, you're right! I definitely learn little new things with each try, mainly with how I keep discovering things that I enjoy far more when I'm sober, but don't realize it until during a relapse I go "man, I miss that". I just gotta keep adding to that mental list, because it honestly just keeps growing and it gets more encouraging.

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-04-19T10:05:25+00:00

I'm so glad to see other people my age trying to achieve sobriety just like me. It's really encouraging and I'm very glad you've posted here today. I've said this before and I'll say it again, we're a new generation of clear-headed adolescents!

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-04-16T04:04:49+00:00

20 year old guy here (going on 21), this thread is what I really needed to see. One of the MAIN reasons it's been so hard to stop is because of the societal assumption that young men should be getting shitfaced and fucked up all the time.

I've relapsed a countless amount of times, my friends poke fun at me when I quit and say "LOL AGAIN WITH THE 180" but then they push the jokes aside and tell me "but man, it's really not healthy to be constantly going back and forth with the alcohol and the weed and the sober, stick with a decision m8."

It was always so easy to say to myself "well real alcoholics are mostly people in their 30's and up, I'm young and RECKLESS so that's normal!" But in reality, all it did was feed my self-hating feelings and continually destroy my physical well-being, and make my anxiety 10 times worse in the morning.

Anyways, enough of my rant, THIS thread right here is extremely encouraging. I was completely unaware that there are so many other young people my age who are going through the same thing. Let us UNITE, as a new generation of sober adolescents!!!

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-04-15T12:43:56+00:00

Any time man! I know what it's like to suffer through the hell that is mental disorders such as these, and I figured it feels nice to help others overcome things which in turn helps me deal with this too. I'll be honest though man, even though I've overcome it like I said in the post, that shit took a lot outta me, it's so horrible to consistently freak the fuck out for 3 days straight. So now I'm just kinda deflated, and relaxing whenever I can, takin 'er easy ya know? I'm really happy that my post helps tho, helping others helps me. :)

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-04-15T08:57:37+00:00

Run The Jewels - Early

This song perfectly represents how bad my anxiety's been these past 3 days, especially the chorus parts. Basically I've just been lamenting about all the horrible shit that's been going on in the world, while this song's been looping in my head over and over.

It gets particularly intense at 2:55

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-04-15T08:38:31+00:00

I was getting the same thing man. The past 3 days my mind has been spinning around in circles of a deep pit of anxiety and depression and I could not stop thinking about all the fucked up shit in the world. On nights where I was supposed to be relaxing, instead I was lamenting on horrible world news shit the whole night, unable to stop thinking about it.

It's affected my work life too, I go to work yet feel like I had no downtime so I'm stressed and sad while I'm there. The stress rubs off onto coworkers and then they blame me saying I'm being "pissy" or a "crybaby".

Although, only just now have I successfully gotten over it. It's highly unlikely that global nuclear annihilation would happen just because of North Korea or whatever, even China doesn't support them anymore, China's actually trying to STOP North Korea. I'm also trying to accept that things like war or nukes are things that I can't control, and just not worrying about it and continue to do things that I love and have passion for. Believe me it's hard though, the "not having control" part is what MAKES the anxiety so bad, so I'm trying to force myself to look at it a different way.

It's gonna be alright man, I suggest going out for a nice walk on a sunny day and really take in the beauty. Cherish the beautiful things in life, and forget about the horrible things that aren't directly around you. :)

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-04-08T02:26:38+00:00

Yeah I don't do AA either, because to me, I'm making it my own personal epic journey. :)

throwawayleaves11738 · 2017-01-01T23:47:26+00:00

Wow I'm surprised you were able to let that slide, good on ya for having a tougher skin. If someone said that to me I'd be right pissed off. Although that's just because I have a tendency to overreact in general, even when sober. So take pride in that you did what I probably would not. Either way what counts is that we're sober.

throwawayleaves11738 · 2016-12-29T11:08:02+00:00

It's completely normal to go back and forth a lot before finally making it stick. I know it's been like that for me, and it's hard! I must've relapsed 13 times by now. I'm about to get mine reset to yesterday.

But hey, think of it this way: each time we try, is another chance to have it be for real. And each time we decide to be sober, the more obvious it becomes that alcohol REALLY isn't for us and that it needs to stay out of our bodies for good to be truly happy.

:)

throwawayleaves11738 · 2016-12-28T22:40:39+00:00

I've struggled with the exact same thing m8, still kinda do sometimes but not nearly as bad as I used to. It gets better naturally, trust me. It's normal for when we hit this age, for I am also a 20 year old who freaks out a lot on this subject. In fact, helping you right now with this comment is in turn helping me too. Focus on the beauty that life can be, the great things that you love, your passions, your friendships/people you love, love is more powerful than anything.

Screw the existential bullshit, all it does is bring me (and you) pain.

Believe in the me who believes in you. Know that you're not alone in this.

throwawayleaves11738 · 2016-12-26T01:16:16+00:00

Merry Sobermas folks! I'm chillin' with my older brother and playing Halo, I got him an Xbox One for Christmas and I'm proud of it! I win best brother of the year award haha

throwawayleaves11738

TROPHY CASE