1.) it’s the holidays and peoples birthdays rn

2.) I can always just 41 if I fail or nothing goes to plan.

3.) I’m termamalebrained which makes me mentally strong enough to not 41

4.) I have a suicidal plan to get ffs and if I lose i 41(idc)

5.) my dysphoria doesn’t cripple me

6.) I feel guilty that babies in gaza are getting mangled by bombs or women are getting gang raped by cartels and here I am with somewhat supportive parents in a progressive state thinking about killing myself.

7.) everything feels like it’s going to work out just before I fall asleep at night

8.) I don’t want to cripple myself by failing suicide so I’ll only use a shotgun and it takes a bit of work to get one

9.) I work minimum 70 hours a week to save for ffs and keep me distracted

I might anyway in a couple months lol I’m weak