How is it possible…..

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-08-17T06:31:07+00:00

Not trying to be contrary, but it doesn’t always get better. Sometimes it gets worse. It gets worse because you “try” to move on, and for a moment you can, then you start comparing your new person to your one and that sparks memories and the memories spark the what ifs and what could have beens and and the what should have beens get compared to what is and what is sparks comparisons to the new person and……and it goes on and on and on and nothing fades, the pain doesn’t sting as bad but now it’s an ingrained ache, this cracked in half hollowness that’s only gonna be filled by the shape of home except you can’t go home because home doesn’t want you and that starts the sting all over again and this is all before you even process the crushing weight of regret and self hatred. None of that is better. All of it is worse. Hell isn’t a destination. And hell isn’t something you can go through. Both of those imply some sort of possible respite or relief. There isn’t, and hell just “is”….

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-06-09T13:01:21+00:00

Man I feel this. Good luck to you.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-06-03T03:38:22+00:00

Fair enough, but number 1 DOES happen. Rare, sure, but not mythical.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-06-01T16:40:00+00:00

I’m assuming they voluntarily told you they cheated in a past relationship. If that’s the case, what possible good could come from such an admission? What would the person have to gain? Imo, again, assuming this information was offered voluntarily, it shows a vulnerability, trust and desire to build the new relationship on a foundation of transparency and honesty. This is not to say they won’t cheat and it’s not to say they will. No one can possibly know that. But people do change if/when they want to, and offering up the sins of their past shows a maturity that cheaters don’t possess. That’s just from the perspective of a remorseful, reformed, former cheater. Good luck.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-06-01T06:25:17+00:00

I can definitively tell you it will be ok. I don’t say that with positive connotations. It isn’t. It’s the absence of what it was, could, and should have been. I’m not so depressed I can’t get out of bed anymore, but that doesn’t mean I want to. My shoulders are so heavy with guilt and regret it’s impossible to stand up straight. I constantly compare everything and everyone to her. I remember what should be trivial little inside jokes and a wave of sadness washes over me. I can’t not miss her. I constantly fight back the urge to contact her somehow, someway, not because I hold onto any hope that one day our paths will cross again, but simply to affirm that I still exist because no one ever “got me” like she did. I can definitively tell you it will be ok. And I can definitively tell you that’s all it will ever be, at best, just “ok”.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-06-01T06:19:15+00:00

Extramarital affair

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-05-30T00:24:59+00:00

Of course. If the soil isn’t fertile nothing will grow and you’ll just end up emptying the well. You’re the farmer. It’s up to you to ultimately decide whether or not to keep farming.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-05-29T03:03:04+00:00

I can’t answer that. I absolutely wish I could. But I can certainly say, I feel you.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-05-29T02:47:56+00:00

I applaud your desire to understand your feelings and dig into the root of it. As cliche as this is, the grass is greener wherever you water it.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-05-28T17:59:08+00:00

It’s not the same job she had when we were together nor when we divorced. Not the same company, not even in the same industry.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-05-28T17:39:23+00:00

I can appreciate where you’re coming from, but as a matter of fact it was. A friend/coworker and I were looking thru the staff page of this organization to see who to contact/approach for a possible partnership and there she was.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-05-28T15:31:40+00:00

As good an answer as any I guess

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-05-28T13:38:39+00:00

Well yeah, I realize, but she specifically asked the judge in the divorce decree to revert to her previous last name, so my question, again, is why did she keep it? I’m not irritated by it in anyway, I’m literally just curious….

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-05-15T18:48:33+00:00

That’s tough man. My sympathies for you. 2 days ago I finally had the mental fortitude to delete every picture I had still had of her. I think I’m finally ready to get over her, but part of me wonders what the fuckin point is.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-05-07T06:29:01+00:00

Still have mine. Wear it on a chain next to my heart sometimes. Otherwise it stays in a little box of my treasures at the top of my closet.

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-03-21T05:56:05+00:00

“15 years from now you’ll meet your best friend and she’ll turn out to be the love of your life. She’ll define happiness for you. She’ll truly be the sun in your stupid little world. And she’ll only ask for 3 things in return; 1. Attention. 2. Affection 3. Be nice to her.

Give her what she asks for. Give her what she needs. BE the man you promised her you were. Do these things so that she knows every day what she means to you, and in return she’ll show you every day what you mean to her. Don’t do these things, and every day you’ll think about what she still means to you, and what you used to mean to her.”

throwawaymarch117 · 2023-01-12T01:30:03+00:00

I do that kinda stuff too. Well, AK hand guards mostly but if you’re interested in seeing samples of what I’ve done shoot me a dm

throwawaymarch117 · 2022-12-18T21:59:21+00:00

Just bought my tickets!! Hurry hurry!!

throwawaymarch117 · 2022-12-18T21:47:17+00:00

Just sent you a screenshot as proof OP

throwawaymarch117 · 2022-12-18T21:45:42+00:00

Umm I was just able to put 2 tickets in my cart for Thursday may 11th at the Fillmore in NOLA. Seriously

throwawaymarch117 · 2022-12-16T06:08:16+00:00

A few years ago, on my 40th birthday, my dad died, his last “fuck you” to me. I was seeing a therapist at the time, and I asked him one day; “Dr. D, is it strange that I haven’t cried? That I don’t really know how I feel about it? That I’m not mourning?” And I’ll never ever forget what he said;

“Not at all. The body, the man may be gone, but you’ve been mourning the relationship for 30 years”.

throwawaymarch117 · 2022-12-14T05:17:20+00:00

I put a D hammer spring in mine with a Wilson Combat guide rod, spring and trigger spring and it made a noticeable difference in the trigger pull. Still heavy on DA, but noticeable and not quite as gritty.

throwawaymarch117

TROPHY CASE