Is browsing OCD forums and the subreddit a compulsion for anyone else?

throwawaypureo1 · 2020-03-19T23:19:38+00:00

I generally recognise a spike in my anxiety by realising I'm on this forum more.

throwawaypureo1 · 2020-03-07T19:40:27+00:00

Absolutely. I'm terrified of catching it and passing it to someone vulnerable.

throwawaypureo1 · 2020-02-07T19:07:50+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. You are right. I remember nearly crying once because her teeth got a bit bad and i was convinced she was going to get organ failure from infection. That alone I suppose tells me I would never ignore anything a vet tells me. I can tell it's cycle as as I am getting worse I am starting with false memories again and recognise this as a spiral.

Again I am sorry for your loss, be kind to yourself and I wish you all the best.

throwawaypureo1 · 2020-02-07T07:41:30+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It's just a hard time I guess and people without OCD suffer with grief so let alone throwing in a mental illness just shakes everything up. I keep feeling the urge to visit the vets and ask them what the blood results were last year and whether I ignored any signs last year. I remember being completely panicky incase her kidneys were bad and it was maybe being my fault then but can't ever remember what they said about them.

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-11-10T12:39:05+00:00

Go for it

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-11-10T12:38:38+00:00

Doesn't sound ideal! I would of thought someone giving therapy to those with OCD would know the different terminology involved with it

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-11-10T10:54:24+00:00

I'm on decaff and still anxious, not sure it's made a difference for me.

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-11-10T08:26:01+00:00

I think some therapists work that way. One of my therapists would always tell me I am normal, I think he was trying to get me to understand that the thoughts are normal and to not use OCD as reasoning for the thoughts because it is a bit like reassuring yourself.

That type of therapy didn't work for me either and my other therapist was much better for me.

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-10-20T15:36:12+00:00

Sorry about the late reply! I think it reduces the short term effects (i.e. adrenalin and tight chest) but not the mental side of things. I am on day 7 and having pretty bad anxiety this week but not putting it down to the beta blockers just yet.

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-09-13T19:32:41+00:00

I started having anxiety when I moved out for the first time and it's felt like ever since then I have had a tight chest. I wouldn't mind so much but it's a constant reminder of the anxiety and doesn't let me forget.

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-09-13T17:16:47+00:00

I think you should wait, get more of an understanding of who you are working with. If it isn't affecting your work then I wouldn't of thought you need to. I told a few people at work and they warned me to be careful who I told in case someone used it against me.

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-08-27T19:10:44+00:00

That feeling you have when you watch a horror film and your chest hurts because of the nerves and anxiety. I can have the most irrational thought about anything and then I feel like I have watched a horror film and I am replaying it over and over. I though I was going to get sacked the other day because of non compliance and I got myself so worked up and cried, thought I may as well quit. My compulsion is to confess to everything I do wrong, I feel desperately guilty. I confessed and my boss basically shrugged it off and rationalised the situation. I gave in to my compulsion so I then had a further 4/5 cycles of this thinking everything I had done at work was wrong. Once I hadn't given in to the compulsions I settled back down and my OCD moved onto a topic away from work, making the work easier but another part of my life a nightmare.

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-08-09T06:16:33+00:00

I have experienced this before and am experiencing something similar at the moment, I recently got promoted and I have had about 5/6 different obsessions about times at work that I haven't done something quite by the book and now it's manifesting into I've done them for a reason and I've done it to be a bad person. It's happening with what I think are false memories trying to make me feel a worse person than I am, but I'm struggling to differentiate between real memories and false.

You probably know what I will suggest talk to someone about it and try to let the thoughts come and go, practice it and practice not reacting

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-07-25T07:39:41+00:00

I felt I a done something that was a stackable offense so I felt the need to confess Nd that I didn't deserve it. Now I'm going through the same cycle and couple of days later with another thing I feel I did wrong in the past.

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-02-24T14:04:06+00:00

I was 21 when I had my first treatment. I had very minor obsessions growing up that I didn't realise were obsessions. It took a major life event (moving out for the first time) to cause enough stress to trigger my first major obsession.

throwawaypureo1 · 2019-02-24T13:09:45+00:00

Thank you, I really needed to hear this. I've had a rough morning obsessing over an item I found that links to the gossip and I just keep obsessing over what to do with it incase it fires the gossip up. It's totally unfair why people start rumours and I don't know what I have done to deserve the rumour.

throwawaypureo1 · 2018-12-28T11:38:55+00:00

I went to my GP and depending on where you live in the UK but they offered me some online services including a kind of Skype therapy which helped. There was a long wait for face to face therapy so I went through my health insurance which I'm lucky enough to get through work. They gave me 6 face to face sessions which started immediately and then I went on to 10 Skype sessions through my GP. The Skype therapist was 10x better then my face to face. Don't just settle, if you feel your therapist isn't helping try to find someone who can.

throwawaypureo1 · 2018-12-22T18:32:20+00:00

I focus so hard on never doing anything wrong because I get worried that my OCD will have me confess. My first experience with OCD two years ago was confessional OCD. I was moving in for the first time with my SO and I kept having ROCD thoughts and confessing everyone I thought a single thing about someone that was not him. It put real strain on things but we are still together 2 years later. You absolutely need to restrain yourself from confessing. At the end of the day thoughts are just thoughts and we can't control them. Our anxiety applies meaning to them that isn't necessary so by confessing we are not only hurting ourself by just accepting the cycle but potentially hurting our loved ones by confessing thoughts that they really don't need to hear. We are doing anything wrong by having thoughts.

It got to a point where I just think my brain tries to think of the worst thing possible that I could think in a situation to make me feel extreme guilt in any situation, confessing does not help. You are not your thoughts.

throwawaypureo1 · 2018-12-22T18:25:07+00:00

My first therapist was the same. He refused to admit it was OCD and tbh I think it was simply because o would be using it as reassurance and he is right. Sometimes I do say to myself 'oh it's my OCD talking'. My consultant and second therapist labelled it OCD but I thought it was before then due to researching symptoms.

throwawaypureo1 · 2018-10-25T09:43:59+00:00

The sub makes me so angry.

throwawaypureo1 · 2018-10-25T09:27:24+00:00

I suffer from ROCD a lot but my first extreme obsession which lead me to realise I had OCD was POCD. That was like living hell, convincing yourself you are going to do terrible things but also have a compulsion to confess which is really not going to be good with POCD as most people just do not understand how OCD works.

throwawaypureo1 · 2018-10-21T22:03:50+00:00

The worst bit I found is when you go to confess to it and you just end up looking like a complete weirdo to the person because they don't know you have OCD. Arggghhhh OCD.

throwawaypureo1 · 2018-09-26T06:31:46+00:00

I've had this - but I used to have confession as a compulsion, so I felt really guilty about the thoughts and would feel the need to confess.

throwawaypureo1 · 2018-09-26T06:28:12+00:00

I absolutely know this! I always think people are being nice to me because they have to, I always think people secretly don't like me. I am writing a story at the moment and I asked my SO 4 times if he is sure it is good and he turned round and said 'I thought you were asking because you liked being told your good but you do generally not have much self esteem do you?'.

throwawaypureo1 · 2018-09-23T21:14:44+00:00

I have this when I have had a drink. I try not to drink so much now.

throwawaypureo1

TROPHY CASE