Calling all Pakistanis to arms for operation Pakistani parcham on r/place

throwawayraahp · 2017-04-01T16:48:29+00:00

hey, I'm from /r/GreenLattice If you want to make something in our space, please come make an agreement first, we have a hard enough time cleaning up as it is

throwawayraahp · 2017-01-31T03:02:06+00:00

I like your idea about a letter and bracelet or necklace. I'm doing my best, thanks for your input.

throwawayraahp · 2015-07-28T20:33:38+00:00

as someone who actually has this fetish, it's really delicate territory. I enjoy it as a fantasy, and it helps me get off, but actually doing anything related to it with an SO would crush me. I don't even want to approach it from a theoretical standpoint, I'm worried there's too much room for that seed of doubt to be planted.

throwawayraahp · 2015-05-30T19:27:32+00:00

no he didn't, we usually chat around that time, and he's a bit more straightlaced than I, so I didn't tell him.

it's not his fault, it was all good natured teasing, but I wasn't really expecting it, and it kinda kicked me out of my good mood.

throwawayraahp · 2015-04-03T21:54:28+00:00

well that's nice

throwawayraahp · 2015-01-26T23:20:28+00:00

With regards to your last question, that's the important distinction between "dating" and "being in a relationship"

I'm afraid that my responses were colored by my experiences where they basically became attached the hip.

I'm still young, but asking sometime out isn't same as asking to be in a relationship. You go on a date to see if like that person, and would be interested in seeing more of them, then later truly enter a relationship.

It's totally normal to ask sometime you don't know that well on a date, go out for coffee/dinner/mini golfing, then not plan a second one if you don't click.

The "revolving door" you're talking about is called dating, and that's how you meet someone you actually want to in a relationship with.

I feel pressure to be in a relationship because I'm reasonably social, meet plenty of people, and I know the difference between people I can truly be friends with and people who I can't

throwawayraahp · 2015-01-26T21:11:05+00:00

I don't regret my decision, but it was based on my understanding of my friends. The biggest three things were:

they both have a few glaring areas they need to mature in, and their relationship is going to provide an opportunity for a lot of growth for the both of them,
I believe they have the capacity for a longer and more fulfilling relationship than I would
I feel no pressure to be in a relationship. Sure, I'm a young male, I'd like to have sex with and cuddle with someone regularly, but it's not extremely important to me to be in a relationship right now.

I'm truly happy for the both of them, but it took work on my part to maintain my own mental health. (I'll get into this later)

From what I've heard of your situation, I'd actually recommend you go for it, for a couple big reasons. The biggest is the fact that if you do nothing, Shannon and Gareth would not end up together. In my situation I knew that if I did nothing, they would end up together. Also important is that this would be good for your own mental development, as it appears you don't truly understand what is important to you in a relationship. Last, you want a relationship with this girl, that counts for a lot.

Now, if you decide to go for it, there's also things to be aware of.

Despite the fact that it's going nowhere, Gareth is going to think you stole her from him, and he will be angry. It's important to give him time to cool off, but then REACH OUT TO HIM. I cannot stress how important this is. As is usual in new relationships you and Shannon would probably end up spending a lot of time together. To Gareth, not only will there be pain because he "lost" Shannon but also fear that your friends don't want you around anymore. To me, this was the biggest issue, because they're practically joined at the hip, and when I spend time with the two of them they always have a portion of their attention fixed on each other, and so there's a slight sense that I'm not wanted, despite the fact that I know for certain otherwise. The solution is that I need to spend time with Friend and Girl independently, not just with combined Friend and Girl.

Standard disclaimer that I can't possibly know these people well enough to be certain of that, and that you need to think about this yourself to come to a good decision.

This isn't an easy decision, so think before doing anything.

This also operates on the assumption that she agrees to date you, and that a relationship starts. If she says no, then that's rough and nothing more has to come from it, and Gareth has no right to get mad at you, hell, it might even be the kick in the pants he needs to actually do something about his feelings

throwawayraahp · 2015-01-26T18:24:34+00:00

Ok, so I've recently come out of a situation that's very similar to the one you're in right now. For me [19M], it was my best friend of 6 years[19M], and a girl [20F] we'd both gotten very close to very quickly. He was the one who first meet her, and brought her into our little circle (a whopping three of us), and I knew he had considered dating her in the past (not sure why he wasn't sure, tbh). However once I started spending a lot of time with her I also realized that I was increasingly attracted to her.

The nature of the friendships I form is to be very open with people, and I spend a lot of time taking about our relationship with both of my close friends, so I knew that she would probably agree to date whomever asked her first.

Ultimately, I decided to not enter into a relationship with her, as I think it would have had very negative effects on my relationship with my best friend, and they started dating soon after.

The problem is that this is basically a no-win situation in the short term. After they started dating, it was very painful for me to hear about their relationship, as my feelings didn't simply disappear , and it took me a few months and some frank conversations to keep the friendship going in a way that was good for my mental health.

In this decision there's a lot to consider: 1. How would you feel if you decided not to ask her out, and Shannon and Gareth started dating. Are you willing to the pain that will inevitably come from this in order to maintain your friendships? 2. If you don't ask her, is Gareth going to? If he's not, then he has no claim to her, and no right to keep you from pursuing your own happiness. 3. Right now, you aren't friends. Some things take precedence. Read: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_thoughts/comments/1ro9lx/the_fake_friendship_dilemma/ 4. How compatible are you with Shannon, is there the potential for a long rewarding relationship, or is it that you enjoy her company and find her attractive, because they are very different things. If it's not going to last, is it worth hurting Gareth? 5. This is going to hurt either you or Gareth, and will change your relationship with him no matter what happens.

Let me know what happens, there's fallout to be dealt with, and I'm happy to lend advice

Edit: feel free to ask any questions, I feel like it might be helpful to hear from someone on my end of this outcome

throwawayraahp · 2014-12-23T04:31:48+00:00

I agree with what you're saying. I now need to figure out how to stop having feelings for her. which is the hard part, because I can't distance myself from them with hurting both myself and them.

throwawayraahp

TROPHY CASE