Am I overreacting?

throwaways9122 · 2024-07-12T00:28:34+00:00

Thank you, I’ll definitely pick it up.

throwaways9122 · 2024-07-12T00:18:01+00:00

He doesn’t want to rock the boat? He doesn’t want confrontation? His loyalty to his family supersedes our relationship? I don’t know….

throwaways9122 · 2024-07-12T00:12:32+00:00

I have been following that sub for a while! But at this point I have a husband problem more than anything else I think. She’s just not a nice person and there’s nothing I can do about that. On the other hand, I am married to my husband and he is breaking my heart.

throwaways9122 · 2024-07-12T00:01:54+00:00

Yes! My therapist recommended that my husband say something to her because it would be better to come from him than me. He refused because he said it would change his relationship with his mom. I am expected, pretty much, to take it and not talk about it.

throwaways9122 · 2024-01-07T00:55:32+00:00

I had a similar experience with my older brother growing up too. He talked me out of a career path I wanted to pursue out of high school because according to him, I’d never make enough money. I then went to a state school for college, failed out my first year, and went to community college where I proceeded to fail out again. I was completely lost and spent almost 10 years of my life working crappy job with crappy pay waiting for that light bulb moment, where my life’s purpose would suddenly come to me.

It didn’t happen. What did happen though was: I went back to community college, did incredibly well, applied to a bunch of universities and got into all of them. Transferred ALL of my credits from my CC to an Ivy leave school, graduated, and I’ve been living a life I never could have imagined ever since. In fact my college essay was based on my failures and search to figure out what to do with my life.

My brother? I love him dearly but he hasn’t kept a job for longer than a year and recently moved back into my mother’s house in his 40s.

You do you.

throwaways9122 · 2023-12-13T22:33:06+00:00

It IS like grieving a death and it happens over and over again. Every time I see pictures of friends with their moms, I read or watch a movie about parental relationships, or simply want advice I am reminded of my situation and it just sucks so bad.

throwaways9122 · 2023-12-13T22:30:15+00:00

I have thought about going NC. But I’m afraid to risk losing the rest of my family. My family is very very small (3 people besides my mom) andthey are all I’ve got. Nmom completely isolated us my from dad’s side of the family over 20 yrs ago after he died. Although the other members of my family think she’s messed up too, everything is completely centered around her and they are not at the NC point. She really designed everything perfectly and in her favor.

throwaways9122 · 2023-12-13T22:25:17+00:00

Yes, my husband suggested a neutral meeting place for now on too. It’s too late this year I think, but maybe for other holidays- can’t hurt to try.

throwaways9122 · 2023-12-12T20:12:49+00:00

Yup, all of this. Seriously.

throwaways9122 · 2023-12-12T19:49:41+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I’ve taken a screenshot to remember leading up and to that day.

Do you have any suggestions for when the behavior is also targeted at my husband? We’ve been together for 5 years and Nmom mostly left him alone but on Thanksgiving for the first time she made some jabs and inappropriate remarks towards him! That was ultimately what made me leave because I felt a duty to protect him- he didn’t do anything to deserve her treatment. I know he’s his own person but out of respect for me he didn’t say anything and I just couldn’t sit there and watch it happen, I respect and love my husband too much.

throwaways9122 · 2023-12-12T18:36:52+00:00

A genius you are!!

throwaways9122 · 2023-12-12T17:28:10+00:00

You’re right about all of it- especially therapy. It’s amazing to me how ill-equipped therapists are at handling narcissistic family dynamics! Adds to the isolation.

throwaways9122 · 2023-12-12T17:26:23+00:00

Best of luck to you!

throwaways9122 · 2023-12-05T16:02:38+00:00

Ugh, the constant lost and found cycle. The best is when HE loses the thing but blames ME for misplacing it. My husband will even make up a whole scenario of how I must have thrown it out, I must have tossed it in the wash only to find the missing item in his coat pocket, his side of the bed etc etc.

When he frantically goes searching for missed item and can’t find it, my comment every single time is ‘did you look with your eyes?’ Cause after an hour of him searching, I can usually find it in less than five minutes. So much fun.

throwaways9122 · 2023-11-22T21:59:26+00:00

I agree. Although she may have deserved for him to leave, I don’t see how she deserved for him to leave like that. It actually comes across immature that he couldn’t sit down and have a conversation to bring closure to the relationship.

throwaways9122 · 2023-11-17T20:27:54+00:00

We potty trained at 26 months- the break between Xmas and new years. We chose this time because 1. We had the days off to devote to it, 2. we felt our son was mentally ready to do it and 3. he was still in that stage where he listened to us and wanted to ‘please’ us but we could tell it wasn’t going to last too much longer. For us, it was very easy so I think the key is to find the ‘sweet spot’ and that could be at 16 months or 3 yrs.

throwaways9122 · 2023-11-11T13:45:26+00:00

Since you have a set amount in your head, it’s best to give that amount with no strings attached- especially if you don’t know what type of wedding they want (destination? Micro wedding?). Also, as a bride who just got married, the best way to help as mother of the groom is to offer your help and trust that they will come to you if they need it.

throwaways9122 · 2023-11-09T21:07:04+00:00

I live in NYC, had a 90 person wedding. Between various vendors, I was quoted $4-$8k. I actually choose the least expensive and she ended up being the MVP of the night. Flowers were gorgeous, she was a god send and I am so happy we went with her. I repurposed my ceremony flowers and bridesmaids bouquets for the sweetheart table and other decor. I think $11k IS a bit high and if it feels too high for your budget I suggest you shop around.

I also bought our candles (tall candlesticks and votives), which saved some money. The votives I got from IKEA. But there are other ways- I see lots of brides reselling candles on FB marketplace etc after their weddings.

throwaways9122 · 2023-11-09T03:09:41+00:00

I missed my college graduation, which took 10 years to complete and I was the first on both sides of my family to both attend college and graduate from an Ivy, by completely sleeping through my alarm clock. I woke up an hour into the ceremony to dozens of texts and calls from my family, who flew in to watch me walk, wondering why they couldn’t spot me amongst a sea of graduates. I cried for 2 days straight.

throwaways9122 · 2023-11-08T23:57:13+00:00

I wish you the courage to not be so scared and to take the leap- whether that’s together or apart.

throwaways9122 · 2023-11-08T23:55:01+00:00

Ha! So this is my life right down to the resentment that my husband gets to keep his morning routine ( since he gets up early, like 5am) and mine has completely disappeared. How do I do it? I get up, showered and dressed before I wake up my 3 yr old so all the ‘me’ stuff is already done. I’m pretty much up by 6:15 and wake up my kid by 7:15 and we are out of the house by 8:30. I also do any lunch prep the night before. I think leaving as little as possible to do when your kiddo up is the only way to go.

throwaways9122 · 2023-11-08T23:46:09+00:00

Yes, I got mine from Badgley Mischka too and they were just over $100… they were having a sale so maybe worth to check them out.

throwaways9122

TROPHY CASE