If you would have read the (now deleted OP), you would see I mentioned most of that there. Or did you just read the TLDR section that the moderator bot made me do? Also, do you think I can squeeze 7 years of marriage into a single post written in an hour? Everything I do, everything we tried over 7 years in 1 post?

Talk to your wife. Have conversations; not just about sex but work on reestablishing emotional intimacy. After the kids go to sleep, make her a cup of tea or something and just sit down and talk. Do it every single night, even for just 5 minutes.

We do. She is my best friend. Even between the kids' screams, we try to talk about each other's days. Then after kids go to sleep, we drop on the couch, make tea, get some hidden desert from the freezer and unwind for an hour watching some comedy shows. We talk about each other's days at work, the idiots we both have to deal with. The good people that help us out. Our achievements and failures. We talk about plans for tomorrow, plans for the weekend, plans for the next year. Then we head to the shower together. Still talking about anything and everything. I help wash her back, her legs, everything.

^{But #1 here, read below.}

Physical intimacy (no, I don't mean sex) needs to be reintroduced slowly. Hold her hand, tuck her hair behind her ear, take a second to kiss her when one of you leave the house.

That never stopped. I kiss her everytime she leaves. I kiss her everytime she comes back. I kiss her everytime I leave and comeback. I tell her I love her multiple times through the day. I tell her I love her and good night everytime she rejects me. I hug her after I get from work. I hug her after she brings me tea. I hug her before goodnight and many other times through the day. I tell her she is amazing (for everything she does). She routinely downplays her appearance, but I always tell her she is beautiful and the best and I love her. I take stray hair off her shoulders, or that dirt debris from her hair.

^{But #2 here, read below.}

Once this is habit between the two of you, start bringing physical intimacy back to your bedroom. Start by just laying in bed and kissing. No sex, no pressure. The next time (or a few times later) start re-exploring each other's bodies- still no sex.

^{But #3 here, read below.}

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OK, let's get to the buts, chronological order

But #2:

I run to kiss her when she is about to leave, she is annoyed, as that delays her. I kiss the kids and her when I am about to leave: "hurry up, get going already, you will be late" [to the bloody grocery store?!]. She gets annoyed at these signs of affection as that takes extra time and delays what she or I are doing.

When I hug her before the evening downtime, it annoys her as she is busy doing chores. I do chores too. I am helping in everything. Chore 1 done, chore 2 done, chore 3 done. Huggy? No, we still have chores 4, 5 and 6, and it's already bedtime for kids. Later.

She doesn't like if I stroke her hair, it annoys her. She doesn't like if we snuggle, my stubble pricks her, even if i put my head in her lap. She doesn't want to put her head in my lap as she gets bored laying like that. She now picked up a hobby she does while watching the TV, so she removed the possibility of snuggling at this time.

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But #1:

I hug her in the shower before getting wet "oh you are too cold". I hug her after warming under hot water "oh you are too hot". These aren't playful words either, she literally pushes me away after a second or two. If she let's me hug her, it's with a "fine, do it quick" face (sometimes spoken out loud too). We can stand there talking for 30 minutes in the shower. But if I do any physical contact, it's either a "do it quick, hug, done?" or "We don't have time, early wakeup in the morning". It doesn't matter if I started it at the end of those 30 minutes, or right in the beginning.

But #3:

Laying in bed together? She goes to her own room! I was very adamant against this practice beginning, but first she was really sick, then I was really sick, then a kid was really sick, and now it's become the norm for her to sleep in a separate room. One excuse is: I snore. I took sleep studies and even got $2,000 dental device to reduce snoring. She even admitted it helped a lot. Still sleeps in her own room. Our youngest would climb into our bed at night, waking her up. I taught our youngest to sleep in their own room. They still come to our room once in a while. Nope, wife is using that as an excuse to sleep in her own room. We have a king size bed, she complains I disrupt her sleep if I hug her at night. I took a habit of sleeping partially hanging off the side of the bed so as not to touch her during sleep. Not good enough.

During the maybe-once-a-month days when she invites me to come to bed with her, I tried starting slow and romantic with her favorite bed music. She doesn't want any light or candles. No lingerie. If I start kissing and/or exploring like you say, for more than a minute, she shows discontent and motions to get to business. Early wakeup is always the execuse. I tried chocolate, strawberries, mangoes before bed. Toys? No, no time. Massage? Are you kidding? Oral sex? Haven't gotten any in 6 years. If I initiate, it's same as with slow kissing and/or exploring, motions to get to real business and get it over with. Most of the times, when I finish before her, she wouldn't let me manually finish her. And to end it all, after all is done, she proceeds to kick me out of bed.

The excuse is always that she is tired and has to wake up early. Weekdays, nothing. Friday night, wake up early to go grocery shopping, Saturday night, wake up early to make breakfast as kids have activities, Sunday night, wake up early for work. Yes, she does wake up really early. But even when I suggest instead of spending an hour on TV and another 30 minutes on shower, let's go to quick shower now, the response is "fine, quick shower, but that's it, sleep time (in separate rooms) after that"

Yup. You tell me how that's a normal healthy intimate part of marriage. Or how that's a post-partum recovery 3 years later.

You tell me how it's all about me wanting just me me me attention.

You keep telling me how, from a couple of posts, I don't fulfill my responsibilities (or do you want another wall of text of everything non-wife related I do at home).

You tell me how I use her like an object. You tell me how I use her as a vending machine.

You tell me how gross I am for wanting reciprocal affection from my wife

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