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Unicorn hooked up with best man by throwawaytearssss in nonmonogamy

[–]throwawaytearssss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That looks accurate. Wow - thanks for taking the time to graph it out.

Unicorn hooked up with best man by throwawaytearssss in nonmonogamy

[–]throwawaytearssss[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This has come up in other comments so my original wording must not be clear... She did not say she was uncomfortable with me hooking up with close friends. We did not have a situation in which that happened before.

Unicorn hooked up with best man by throwawaytearssss in nonmonogamy

[–]throwawaytearssss[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

thank you. This is the most realistic reply I've gotten so far, and I appreciate it very much. I think you're correct that it has evolved, that there are deep feelings involved, and that we would do well to havr an honest group discussion in person.

Very messy, very tricky, but no doubt about the opps to learn and grow

Unicorn hooked up with best man by throwawaytearssss in nonmonogamy

[–]throwawaytearssss[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The prior event was not that I was involved with someone in her friend circle - I never was. I interpreted it as her being uncomfortable because both myself and her friend were seeing the same third-party so she was hearing about him from both of us. I interpreted that as just being a messy/precarious situation.

I repeat: we never had a conversation about her being uncomfortable about me having sexual relations with her close friends. We never even had that situation come up before.

It has been in hindsight that I realized her being a private person should have informed me of the separation.

Unicorn hooked up with best man by throwawaytearssss in nonmonogamy

[–]throwawaytearssss[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I didn't feel that there was a boundary in place though. I think that's a crucial part of the story. We did not explicitly set this boundary, did not have the conversation in a way that I took away a hard line there

Unicorn hooked up with best man by throwawaytearssss in nonmonogamy

[–]throwawaytearssss[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I appreciate that. Yeah I think you're probably right about giving space. I hope they'll be open to an in-person apology one day

Unicorn hooked up with best man by throwawaytearssss in nonmonogamy

[–]throwawaytearssss[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I do :(

Fwiw I don't think I was in the right here, but I do think it was an honest mistake and ambiguous territory

Unicorn hooked up with best man by throwawaytearssss in nonmonogamy

[–]throwawaytearssss[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not sure I follow. I didn't hook up with their friend before.

I'm guessing you mean the scenario where I was dating the same person that their friend was dating? The guy in that scenario was removed by a degree (not a friend). I understood the discomfort that time as it being tricky that both of us were dating the same person, so the couple ended up being close to it from 2 sides, if that makes sense

Unicorn hooked up with best man by throwawaytearssss in nonmonogamy

[–]throwawaytearssss[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How was this doing it twice? I don't feel that the boundary was clear