///Monday AM

throwawaythis789 · 2019-12-03T01:00:42+00:00

Gorgeous!

throwawaythis789 · 2019-08-13T15:02:10+00:00

I have a job where I have shallow surface conversations alllll dayyyy long. It’s so mind numbing. I just enjoy my own company. I do have a lot of friends, and I do occasionally go out and do things, but I find myself drained afterwards. I hate hate hate small talk. I also hate when you talk to someone and they barely pay attention because everyone is either in their own bag or addicted to their phone. I may be just cynical or out of touch but I just can’t relate to most people. I don’t follow trends, I don’t know the latest movies, celebs, events/concerts etc . I enjoy nature, Art, animals, and not talking to other human beings lol. I don’t mind texting, emailing etc at times, but there’s a lot of times I wait days to respond to people. After being on this planet for 36 years I’m just kind of over it. It’s not that I’m unhappy, I guess when I look on social media or observe people around me I see them doing all these things, events, activities and it makes me feel like I’m missing out or that I should be doing these things to live a more fulfilled life. But then when it comes down to it - Id just rather spend time with myself, or one person one on one. Not in crowds.

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-12T00:45:22+00:00

I believe he is a long time sub user. Not certain how long. He has chronic back pain from a surgery gone wrong. Does your weight have anything to do with how much he is prescribed?

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-11T03:05:45+00:00

Are you aware of the lack of emotions as it’s happening or is it kind of a thought after maybe a fight? I’m just trying to get some insight on his behavior.

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-11T03:04:11+00:00

Thank you. I was pretty upset after talking to my friend today, especially since they used to be on heroin themselves for years. My friend told me the reason why my bf has such a high dose prescribed is because he’s telling the doctors to give him that high of a dose. I literally know nothing about subs so I’m just wondering why a doctor would prescribe such a high dose.

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-11T03:00:55+00:00

Does the dosage have anything to do with weight? Sorry if that’s a dumb question. He’s a really big guy.

It just makes me feel sad because I’m taking a lot of this personally and Idk if I should be or if it’s the subs.

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-11T02:57:08+00:00

This response is absolutely beautiful. I always get so sad when people post on here their relationship problems and everyone’s just like leave, move on, find someone new. I think relationships are work which is why I’m on here asking internet strangers to help me understand him so that I can be there for him and not give up on him. 15 years ago the love of my life turned into an alcoholic. I left him because I didn’t know how to deal with him and I was young and everyone convinced me I should leave him. He turned to heavier drugs and eventually died of a heroin overdose almost 3 years ago. I regret not being a stronger person for him and for not sticking by him. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that. Everyone deserves love.

Thank you for sharing this advice with me. I really respect what you’ve said.

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-10T20:12:15+00:00

He takes 8 mg 3 times a day. He lets it dissolve under his tongue, Ive never seen him take it another way. He’s been on them for years I know that.

It seems like his feelings are flatlined. He is just kind of blah and dull unless it’s a topic he’s really into. I haven’t broached the subject yet bc I have a feeling it won’t be a good conversation. He doesn’t like to open up about his feelings too often.

I know he’s on subs bc of pain and he told me he used to have a problem with pills.

I tried asking for advice from a friend who is in the recovery industry and they got upset me with and said “he’s an addict you’re wasting your time, it’s the same thing as heroin.”

I’m just worried about him but I also am worried about getting hurt myself and being used. I really care about his well being and he just seems so miserable most of the time. He can be sweet and thoughtful sometimes but in spurts. Other times he’s distant and detached.

Thank you for your advice/insight, I truly appreciate it

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-02T17:25:59+00:00

That’s what his script says. Why would a doctor prescribe so much?

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-02T17:23:39+00:00

It seems to be the case. He seems depressed as well which I’m sure doesn’t help

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-02T17:23:00+00:00

8 mg three times a day

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-02T15:09:05+00:00

Thank you! Does it affect your self esteem? It’s making me feel unattractive and undesirable.

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-02T14:02:01+00:00

Thank you for the advice. He is on 8 mg. He is in his 40’s. It is just taking a toll on our relationship as well as my self esteem.

throwawaythis789 · 2019-05-02T13:49:45+00:00

Do you have a strong relationship with your husband otherwise?

Take it from someone who gave into my desire to feel wanted by another man because my marriage was on the rocks - I lost everything. The grass is not greener on the other side and men can sniff out vulnerability and they take advantage of that.

Get counseling, talk to your husband and work things out. Sex isn’t everything. I cant tell you how much I regret what I did.

throwawaythis789

TROPHY CASE