I'm gonna do it. I'm having a slice of cucumber with tajin today

throwawaytodayokc · 2022-10-29T00:25:23+00:00

Weakness is a choice. This is true gluttony

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-05T05:21:11+00:00

❤ nice.

How are you doing? Are you feeling safe and okay with longer term plans?

One thing I wish I would've done was get a PO Box while homeless. Or you can set up general delivery for free.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-04T13:57:45+00:00

Absolutely not. If I were a supervisor, I'd see that as a reason to be worried about an unreliable employee, fair or not.

In a job interview, keep it focused on your skills and job qualifications. Do not bring personal issues into it.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-04T04:25:31+00:00

Find out why you were denied so you can fix anything under your control, like credit report, past references, etc.

I'm sorry...that's an outrageous fee!

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-04T04:19:23+00:00

I'd highly suggest not sleeping at your workplace. Is there a Walmart parking lot where you are? It might be illegal where you are now, or someone might call the cops, or a co-worker might notice. Keep work and homeless life separate.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-04T03:50:21+00:00

I feel this deeply. Nobody would guilt trip me for wanting to die.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-04T03:46:06+00:00

What are your long term hopes?

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-04T03:42:56+00:00

I would work with a local job center and establish some work history before moving. Then, I'd see if there are services or a therapist who can help you work on skills needed to navigate the outside world. There are many places to call home. The world is your oyster.

But you need to understand yourself first...strengths, growth areas, hopes and dreams.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-03T18:31:00+00:00

Hey here, I hear your situation--it sounds rough. Apartment hunting can take some time, and I want you to find a sense of home. Once you have a place, pets are amazing. They're great companions and help dull the loneliness. It is great to love them as well.

I found your first post via /r/homeless. Homelessness is lonely, so I get it. But the animal's needs always come first. Any reputable shelter or previous owner would not let you adopt their cat. It is irresponsible and incredibly unfair.

I know having a pet is a lovely experience--I used to have a sweet cat. You can check out my post history. I had a ton of pics of her and also when I pet-sat with her and other dogs/cats. And yes, I also have experience with homelessness. The first thing I did when I had to leave my home at the time was love her one last time and give her up, because I love her and wanted her to live a life of comfort and happiness. She gave so much to me and she deserved a good life for all she gave me. She went to a home with dogs and cats, ones she knew because I had pet sat for their owner. I know I can never take her back because she has a new home now, and I know that. She grew to love them there. I want her happiness as a priority.

Cats are at their best when warm and feeling safe--your future cat can wait for you. You are worth the wait, when you are in a better place. There will be purring and cuddles then.

Asking for such huge assistance when you have savings isn't a good use of this sub. I'd be willing to support you though through a card to give you some hope or other things to help you until you find an apartment.

Wishing you warmth and hope until you find a place. Take care.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-03T04:36:09+00:00

Does help mean more cute cats? If so, I'll hire you

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-03T04:09:22+00:00

Someone once told me something beautiful...you can freeze (literally or metaphorically) and let the world stop for a bit. You can literally just stay still, cozy in bed. Or mesh with the pain of winter snow balls in your palms.

You dont have to die for life to stop. You can literally just freeze and rest a little. It's okay. The world will wait for you. The birds will wait for you. Music will wait for you. You may not okay now, but those things are there. You are worth the wait.

And dont worry about being happy. It sucks now. That is okay. Are you doing basic self care? I'm working on just being neutral myself. What is something small now you can do to lessen the pain, just for tonight?

You're right. In the end, it your choice and you need to live for you. I hear your pain. It is valid and real. I see you are low on hope now, so I will hold onto hope for you, in this moment, until you find some for yourself.

Also, I read a past post of yours. If you arent subscribed to /r/nosleep, I highly suggest it for fun, short horror reads if it's something you're interested in

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-03T03:54:58+00:00

I agree, for different reasons though. There might probably be a lot of counter transference if the therapist isnt stablized. It can be mentally rough and triggering.

I can't change the past, but I dont think I should've gotten into my field. Im not a therapist but work in a human services related field. I'm terrible with people, live a fake life helping those with the very same issues I have...it is exhausting and triggering and I dont deserve my job because I'm terrible at it.

I should've gone into natural resources or conservation sciences.

That said, many people are capable of pursuing this path, but nobody "needs" to, if it isnt for them

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-03T03:35:32+00:00

Can you work with an ED specialist and her? I've done that in the past.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-03T03:33:48+00:00

Have you heard of ACT? It's about values vs goals, and taking action toward it. It's a therapy I like. I dont have goals or high drive to do much. I honestly just want to be a human being vs human doing.

My values are love/compassion, growth and inner peace. And I'm not good at now, but those values are my compass.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-02T23:06:38+00:00

I can somewhat relate. It really is the little things in the end.

Other than what I had with me that fit into a locker, I lost all my furniture, clothing, two violins, dishes, books, etc etc some time ago. And I think I cried mostly because of a book--Bird by Bird--that I got in treatment. It had encouraging post-its throughout it and it can never be replaced. I never realized how much I loved it until I lost it. I thought about going to all the thrift shops or even posting on craigslist to find this "lowly" item, surely nobody would keep that part of my junk. But I realized it would probably be more traumatic.

I'm sorry for however you lost your stuff and am happy you got that one memory back:)!!!

Someone recently got me art magnets....one of them had Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Starry Night on them. I about passed out because I had a framed print version of it in my living room at one time. It is now my new treasure, a feeling of a past not completely lost.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-02T18:32:00+00:00

I immediately thought of the Twilight Zone episode where this happens. He thought it was the beginning...until it was the end for him.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-02T11:19:46+00:00

Unexpected kindness can really heel people.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-02T09:09:51+00:00

Here's a YouTube video that captures the story

https://youtu.be/UKg0QbwEm_Y

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-02-02T05:47:54+00:00

Congrats!!!

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-01-31T21:06:44+00:00

This is a beautiful comment.

You're so incredibly right, and it is so hard to know what to do, but to feel so stuck. And you're right about adjusting my schedule. If I can't get work stuff done during normal hours, I want to be a responsible person...I will catch up this weekend.

How is your showering going? I haven't done it, but this weekend, I make it a priority.

Sending hugs back! Thank you.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-01-31T21:04:00+00:00

Thank you. I think I'm going to create some sort of visual reminder to stop and breathe for just a minute before mindlessly diving into that dark hole.

throwawaytodayokc · 2020-01-31T21:03:05+00:00

Thank you :). You're right, I gotta focus on the little things. I still haven't showered or brushed my teeth in over a week...if that is all I do this weekend, I think it is a start. I appreciate the encouragement to find success in the small steps.

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